The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Let’s talk about me. This is MY webpage after all. I bet many of you are wondering what this whole ‘monkey’ thing is about. True, monkeys are fun. Monkeys are adorable. But this has a little more meaning for me than that. Let me tell you a story.

My dad was the coolest man on the planet. He came from a 5-kid family where he and his older brother and sister were raised during the depression. Not a whole lotta money but that was all right. I think that’s what gave him most of his strength. He worked his ass off to be able to own a printing company and take care of his wife and two kids (one of those would be me, by the way). He was great at whistling, told the best jokes, had a generous heart, and the nickname he gave to his little girl was ‘monkey’.

Now I don’t know why he chose that or how it started. I assume I wasn’t running around the house like an animal, swinging from light fixtures, or flinging poo at guests. Maybe it’s because I flailed my arms wildly when he tossed me around in the pool. Maybe it’s because I liked to climb trees. Maybe it was just because monkeys are cute and so was I. 

I can’t ask him, though. He died in 2004. So when I was thinking of a web address, it obviously had to have the word ‘monkey’ in it somewhere. And so The Monkey Is In was born. This does not give the rest of you license to call me monkey! That honor is now reserved for my husband, Robert. I think my dad would like that.

Waxing poetic…about that nearly empty glass of booze.

Wanna keep in touch? Here's how.

DO: Check out my Instagram and Facebook pages (click on the icons in the upper right corner of the page). That's why I made them. So you can look at my pithy words and read my fabulous pictures. Wait...the opposite of what I just said, actually.

DONT: Try to find out my address, phone number, personal email, favorite hangouts, or prisoner dungeon on your own. If I want you to know these things, I will tell you personally. If you have to search for them by digging through my trash because I won't share, you WILL have a problem. Namely my foot up your ass.