3B November 2015 Beauty Box

I believe I talked about a couple of the products I got in the October bag over in my PDs, MEHs, and GFYs post. But other than those couple of things, I can't remember what else I got. I think it was all skin care products but...

Oh, at this point who cares? Let's just get on with November! For those who don't know, 3B is a monthly beauty subscription service that sends 4-5 samples (sometimes full sized) products from Asia for $12 a month. Check them out for yourself: https://the3bbox.com/  (I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

Since this came a week or so ago, I've had time to try these products out for a bit.

The Ra & Gowoori is just a basic skin cream but with SPF of 50. It doesn't really whiten your skin. I love the feel of it though. It's thicker than what I normally use (Neutrogena) but it absorbs very quickly and I don't look greasy at all.
The bottles in the middle are a cleansing oil by Etude House (left) and toner by Secret Key (right). I always wanted to try a cleansing oil and so far, I'm diggin' it. It helps clean off makeup without drying your skin. The toner smells way too much like alcohol so all that moisture you're saving with the oil might be there to protect against the toner!
A'Pieu tea tree spot patches - I've only used them twice and I can't really tell if they work. I'll keep trying.
Ugh, the dreaded Hada Labo skin gel cream. But again, like I've said in the past, this sample size is working well. Something just gets lost in the translation (see what I did there?) to full size and it becomes useless. Well, I'll use this up then go to something else!

I can't find prices on these things (at least, not in English anywhere) but I'm pretty sure I got my money's worth this month!

PDs, GFYs, and MEHs - October/November 2015

Yep...another post where I whine about the months slipping past me at an accelerated rate and me powerless to stop it.

*shrugs*

Finally getting around to posting my thoughts on some truly great stuff, some not so great, and others that can take a running jump off a cliff. Let's get started, shall we?

PDs (Panty Droppers)

Let's start with the pictured stuff (make up and skin care) and then I'll talk about some food!

Essence Gel Eyeliner and Small Angled Brush: As I get older, the skin around my eyes gets more and more delicate (read: aged as fuck). Eyeliner pens, which are awesome and I do like them, get a little trickier to work with (read: pain in my ass). So gel liners are a great alternative. The one from Essence, in league with the little angled brush, are PERFECTION. The color is super black, it sets quickly, and it doesn't move one fucking inch all day. And I have really oily lids and a bit watery eyes. You can get this brand at Ulta Beauty and all Essence's products are pretty inexpensive!

L'Oreal Stylist Eyebrow Plumper:  Most of you who know me know I don't really have eyebrows. I mean, the hair is there but it's sparse, thin, and light in color. I've tried brow gels in the past but they are too gloppy and just goop all over the skin UNDER my brows. So I was a little dubious of this. But it works like a charm! The brush is tiny so it's easy to control and the product is just the right consistency. With a light hand, I can just build up those little hairs to the point where it looks like I have regular brows, not something drawn on. It's awesome! And once it sets, it doesn't move!

Pure Vanilla Roller ball Perfume from LaVanilla Lab: I've bitched about this company's lotion scent before (too heavy, very fake) but this perfume is wonderful. It's everything I want in a vanilla scent. I think I already talked about it in my last Ipsy double review but it's worth mentioning again. It's that good.

Makeup Revolution Blush Palette: I am super impressed with this brand. They are from Britain and until recently, we over on this side of the pond could only order their stuff on-line. Now Ulta is carrying part of their line. I got this blush palette, as well as a baked highlighter and some eye shadow, and I've got to say I'm in love. These blushes are so pigmented. I should have swatched them for you - maybe in another post (I might do a whole MR review). And now I've got 2 extra highlighters and they are gorgeous. Not super glittery - just a little shimmer - but they are awesome. 

Skin Food Rice Mask: I've had a lot of hit and miss with Korean skin care. If they work, they work perfectly. If they don't, they break me out so I look like a pineapple. No middle ground. Ugh. But this rice mask is fantastic! It's a thick unscented cream with little bits of rice (cooked, not raw - they don't want us to scrub our top layer of skin off!). You spread it on and rub it in for 10-15 minutes then rinse away. My arms get a bit tired at the 10 minute mark but my skin feels like it must have when I was born. I don't think any other scrub product has every made my skin feel so soft. I only use it once a week because I have a tendency to go overboard with stuff I like. I will definitely purchase more of this in the future.

Now for food awesomeness:

Peppermint Oreos: they are similar to the regular mint ones (that taste like Girl Scout Thin Mints). Peppermint is more of the flavor people associate with Christmas as it's in peppermint bark, cookies, I think candy canes are peppermint flavored, etc. GO GET SOME.

Chiobani Yogurt Flips: I get on my yogurt kicks every few months and these are great. Low fat flavored yogurt that comes with a little packet of bits you mix into the yogurt. The only one I haven't liked is the Peach yogurt with pistachios. I don't know why. Every other flavor has been great (Chocolate coconut, Peanut Butter Dream, Key Lime, Coffee Bliss....and more!). They're usually on sale at my grocery store so I'll grab 6 or 9 each time!

Now for the MEHs

Skin Food Honey Emulsion and Toner: Now here's an example of Korean skin care, from the same brand that I JUST raved about, that didn't work. It broke me out. The products themselves feel great and smell good. But my skin said no fucking way. But for those who don't break out easily, these might be really good.

Benefit Roller Lash: I want to say that somewhere Benefit claims this mascara creates volume and length while curling. It doesn't not. I don't have heavy thick lashes or ones that point straight down so the mascara curled my lashes extremely well! But when I compared it to other mascaras, they did just about the same thing. So I'd like to know if anyone with hard to curl lashes uses/tried this and what they think! For me it was just ok.

Physicians Formula Organic Wear Ultra Black Mascara (not pictured): I like a lot of PF's mascaras. This is the one that comes in the black packaging. It didn't really do anything spectacular for my lashes and it smudged a little bit. Might work great on someone else but just not for me.

Luxe Eyelash Essence: Got this from 3B in September. I've been using it most days (I forgot a couple of times) and it doesn't seem like anything is happening. Maybe it's a nice conditioner for lashes but it sure doesn't make them grow. Oh well.

And now for what is, honestly, my favorite part of these posts- the GFYs (Go Fuck Yourselves):

Looking at these pics I realize aside from one skin cream, it's all lip stuff. Huh.

Yu-Be Skin Cream: Ugh. Smells like straight up menthol. It doesn't feel nice on the skin either. Hopefully I'll never get another sample of this crap in my 3B bag.

Lipstick/Gloss Sample Foil Packets: What the fuck is this shit? First it's a crappy teeny sample of a lip product. Second it comes in a foil backed package that CANNOT be resealed. I had to monkey around with bobby pins to keep the foil from peeling and curling away and drying out the samples. You know, Avon used to make those mini lipstick tubes (do they still do that?) that probably contained the same amount of product in the above photo but were so much more consumer friendly. Get it together, make up companies. No one wants this bullshit.

NYX Liquid Suede Cream Lipstick: I was so excited for this. After the Colorpop matte lippie disaster earlier this fall, I'm eager to find comfortable matte lip products. Unfortunately, these are not it. I love NYX. I have a lot of lippies from them. But this dung in a tube is just awful. It dries to a sticky tacky layer, it goes on patchy as fuck, and it wears uneven. Terrible. Shitty. Awful. Useless.

Milani Amore Matte Lip Creme: If possible I think this stuff is worse than the NYX. Application is patchy, it's just about as dry as the Colorpop mattes (read: painful), and it wears off the inner part of the lips first (yes, you look like a blow up fuck doll). The dark purply-red color is gorgeous but the darker the color, the worse it looks. I could mess with it by putting a light pink lipstick over it and get this really cool blue duo-chrome effect but honestly, I don't like it enough to fuck with it that much. 

That's it. I'll try to get a quick post up at the end of the year. But since it's already December 7, don't hold your breath.

Ipsy October/November 2015 Reviews

Here's another double review for you! For those who don't know, Ipsy is a monthly beauty subscription service. For $10 you can 4-5 samples (sometimes deluxe sized, sometimes full) of beauty products. These can range from make up to skin care to hair products. Check them out!  (as always, I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones).  https://www.ipsy.com/

Let's start with October!

The theme for October was Alter Ego (whatever). Not that crazy about the bag. It looks like gold lame on the one side and black S&M vinyl on the back. 5 products came this month but I used some points to cash in on two extras.

Emite Slanted Tweezers: What needs to be said? They're tweezers. I actually needed a pair so it worked out for me but really, ipsy? Tweezers? Looking up this brand on-line, they are Swedish so I had to do a bit of conversion to get a value (read: Googled it). Apparently 200 Krona is about $22. FOR FUCKING TWEEZERS?!?

The Balm Meet Matt(e) Hughes Lipstick: (middle swatch) I've never tried the Balm lip products before and this shit is for real. Extremely long lasting (I ate a meal and some snacks and this stuff still stayed on), smells nice and minty, and it NOT drying at all. It does get really sticky as it dries down but the color doesn't peel or pull off. Does that make sense? Though I'm not crazy about the color - it's a little too warm for me - I'd be willing to spend $17 on a full size. This sample goes for around $3.50

Mica Beauty Cream Eyeshadow: (right swatch) I think I have other stuff from Mica. This cream shadow is a gorgeous gold/bronze shade (though this color is getting very tiresome from Ipsy). It's very pigmented and swatches nicely. Not patchy. I have no idea how it looks on the eyes because I can barely remove it from the back of my hand after 30 minutes of scrubbing with a makeup wipe. I'll need to get an oil based removed to see if that helps. Otherwise, I may never wear it, which would be a shame because it is pretty. It's an exclusive product for Ipsy so I couldn't find it on their site. Their regular mineral eye shadows are a similar weight and got for $15.

Lavanilla Laboratories Pure Vanilla Rollerball: I've reviews a lotion from these folks before and I didn't like the scent. It was way too heavy and artificial. That said, this roller ball perfume is everything I want in a vanilla scent! It's perfection in a tiny bottle! This mini size goes fro $12. I might consider purchasing the larger size at $19 (it's double the amount of the mini) but since I don't go through perfume all that fast I'd have to think on it. 

Ayres Hand Cream: I have a few other hand creams to work through so I haven't opened this one yet. The full size goes for $12.50 (1.4 ounces) so this .7 ounce bottle is about $6.25.

So this whole bag's value goes for almost $59. I'd say that's a steal, even if $22 of it goes for fucking tweezers. Lame.

The extras I got are:

Pixi Eyebrow Trio: It's a little baby palette of powders for brows. The highlight shade didn't swatch at all. The two brown shades take a lot of back and forth to get the damn color to show up. So if you want just a hint of color in your brows, something soft, this could work. But the pigmentation is so shitty I'm not sure it's even worth it. Definitely not worth $6 and not worth the points I wasted on it.

Befine Cucumber Mask: I can't even remember if I've tried this yet. I want to say yes because I wanted to know if the cucumber smell was crazy. And I don't believe it was. Full size (4 ouces) goes for $25 so this 1 ounce sample is about $6.

WHEW! Now let's get on to November!

Theme is Beauty Blast. Who knows? The bag is totally cute and colorful though the materials is similar to a vinyl pool toy. But I'm already over it.

Pantene Blowout Extend Dry Shampoo: I haven't tried this one yet as I have another can of Batiste to work through. But I'm a little nervous. My stylist (current and ones in the past) have warned me off Pantene shampoo products before so I'm not too eager to crack this baby open. Full size goes for $5-7 so this sample is probably around $2.

Tre'Stique Mini Matte Lip Crayon: I got the color Chili Red and I first I thought it was an obnoxious bright cherry color but it's a little deeper on my lips. It's definitely got a blue base so it works out for my skin tone. It feels like nothing is on your lips. Not drying at all and it lasts forever! I forgot I had the stuff on and it lasted through most of the day which included eating at least one meal and some snacks. I can't find the matte crayon alone (it's only paired with a gloss stick) and goes for $28. BUT you can purchase 3 mini crayons for $25 so I'd put this one mini's value at around $8.

Smashbox Full Exposure Mascara: I don't normally buy a lot of high-end makeup. But if something is really good, I seriously consider it. I got a sample of this and while I don't agree it adds volume at all, it does a beautiful job of separating and lengthening my lashes beautifully! I think it's the natural bristle brush - those are my favorite. Not sure if I'd spend $20 on a full size though. I don't know how much is in a full size but I'm guessing this sample of 3 ml is product 1/4 of a regular tube so figure on $5 value.

Absolute NY Nano Liner: I do love a good liquid liner pen. Though they have a tendency to dry out faster than the brush/bottle combos, they are a bit easier to use. I've only swatched this on my hand but it went on smoothly and you can make the line thin or thick. I believe this is full size which goes for $10.

Jelly Pong Pong Liquid Gossamer: I've heard of this brand but never tried it before. This is a liquid/cream product that you're supposed to use all over your face for a luminous look. I can't do that because my pores are as big as New Jersey so this kind of product just accentuates that. HOWEVER, it would make an awesome highlight and I'm kind of addicted to highlighters right now. The color is a gorgeous rose champagne and it doesn't look like there's a lot of chunky glitter in it. I don't mind a little but too much or too big comes off like little kid makeup. This is a full size tube and it goes for $23.

Overall I'm super happy with this month. It's value is probably just under $50 so even though last month seemed to have more value, I like the products in November's bag much better!

Universal Yums October/November 2015

Let's take a two country tour this month, shall we? As I stated in my Morgue Drawer post, October got away from me so we're going to need to combine some monthly reviews here!

Universal Yums, for those who may not know, is a monthly subscription service that sends you snack foods from around the world! Each month is a different county. You can either sign up for the Yum Box ($13) or the Yum Yum Box ($25). Check them out for yourselves!  http://www.universalyums.com/  (I purchase this service with my own money and all reviews are my honest opinions and not bought and paid for. I'm not as shill.)

October 2015 - The Netherlands

So much good stuff...We haven't eaten all of the goodies yet. And when I say 'we' I mean 'me'. I've tried everything but the stroopwaffel wafers that you're supposed to put on top of a cup of steaming hot joe and let the heat warm up the creamy center. The Meller caramel candies taste a lot like Milk Duds but with a fudgy center. The windmill cookies were dry and rather tasteless; the coffee hopjes are excellent; the Advocat chews tasted like sweet cream (nice); two mints - King and Princess were pretty basic mints though I liked the princess ones a little better; the paprika chips were the first to go. They tasted like basic potato chips to me but not as greasy as what you normally find here. 

I'm trying the raspberry wineballs now and it seems like they have the same center as a Zot . The flavor is sour and sweet with that fizzy middle seeping out. Kinda cool. The one thing I haven't tried yet is the Licorice Balls because I believe there's salt in the center. Yep, you read that right. Salt. I'm scared...

(as I'm editing this review I'm sucking on a licorice ball. The outside is actually savory, not sweet at all. And the salt center....AAAGGGH! UGH! *cough* *sputter* Throw it in the trash...)

This seemed like an average box. I happy with most of the stuff in here!

And on to November 2015 - South Korea

WOO! Anyone who knows me knows how addicted I am to Korean Dramas and Korean culture. And now I'm getting more into K-Pop...but that's neither here nor there! Here's the box.

I've tried all but one item from this box. The Choco wafers are ok. Like those sugar wafers with the cream center you can get here. Maybe these are a little drier but the flavor is nice. The Milk Strawberry candy is great. Tastes like a strawberry milkshake! The Plum Candy is also excellent. Very good flavor. Almond Pepero is basically Pocky with chocolate and almond coating. Yummy! The soft walnut candy is fantastic! Tastes like a sweetened walnut but chewy instead of crunchy. So  good! I was really excited for the Choco Pie because I've seen it pop up in a few Korean dramas. It's basically like a moon pie but smaller (which is fine) and much drier (not fine). I was a little disappointed. I haven't had the Tiramisu Cupcake yet but it looks wonderful.

The only other thing I tried were the Peanut Squid Balls. Yes...they love their squid over in Asia and apparently peanuts and squid are a popular combination. The description calls it a 'palatable squid aftertaste' and that's about as accurate as you can be. The balls are crispy and the peanut in the center is basically a peanut. There's a soft filling surrounding the peanut but I don't know if that's where the squid taste come in or if it's in the balls (oy, this post is getting dirty). It is a very subtle after taste but I just don't get the combo here. I think it's off putting, even though it's mild. I think without the peanut it would be fine or leave out the squid and the peanut flavor is fine. Just...not together.

This was an okay box. Some of the snacks were great and others were just so so. I still love this idea of snack food from across the globe so I'm gonna stick with it for a while!

November 2015 Morgue Drawer - PART II

...pation.

All righty. Here we go with Part II of my Morgue Drawer clean up. Let us begin with hair.

Dove Dry Spray Deodorant: (I totally forgot I put this product in with this group so yeah, technically it's not for the hair...unless you don't shave your pits. Then it could count. Anyway, moving on...) I guess this product worked okay but the smell was so over powering. I'd spray it on and then have to leave my room for about 10 minutes until the spray dissipated. Won't be purchasing again.

Batiste Dry Shampoo Cherry Scent: I adore the formula of Batiste. I don't feel like I have to spray half the can to get results. The smell of cherry is not very strong but the general perfumey scent is very strong. Much like the Dove deodorant. I've since purchased another scent, which isn't nearly as bad, so I'm going to stick with this brand for a while!

Psssst! Dry Shampoo: I think there's more propellant than dry shampoo in this. So basically my head felt frozen by the time I got any product out. I used up this can in just a few applications. LAME.

Not Your Mother's Dry Shampoo: I talked about this in a PD, GFY post. TERRIBLE! USELESS! DISAPPOINTING! Do not purchase.

L'Oreal Repair Shampoo/Conditioner: My hair did look less frizzy and dry after using these. So I purchased the full sized bottles. Just waiting to get through them so I can move on and try something else. They're not great but they do smell nice and seem to work a little bit.

Marc Antony Macadamia Oil Conditioning Treatment: I didn't really notice a difference in my hair after using this. Smells awesome but I probably won't buy it again.

Moving on to makeup removers/cleansers:

Olay Regenerist Cream Cleanser: This was a great exfoliating cleanser. Just the right amount of scrubbies to exfoliate but not shred the face. Unfortunately, this is one of those micro bead exfoliators so the little bits are now clogging up the water works and NOT disintegrating. So I decided not to repurchase. *le sigh*

Etude House Baking Powder Cleanser: Now here's a product that a nice exfoliator (not quite as much scrubby going on as Olay but still pretty good) and it's natural so the powder won't clog up Mother Nature. The smell was fanstastic - very citrusy! Since it's a Korean product, I might have to do a little digging to purchase the full size!

Pacifica Make Up Wipes: UGH. Terrible product! Whatever the cleaning agent is on these burns like a mother fucker. The cloths were very rough and they didn't do that great of a job removing make up. The coconut smell was way too strong. Awful.

Derma E Hydrating Facial Wipes: All Lies! These wipes were so dry. They were terrible! 

Target Up & Up Make Up Wipes: These were pretty good. Did a good job of removing make up (just not eye make up that well), the cloths were soft, and the smell was nice. Burned if I used them to remove eye make up, though. Not sure if I'll get these again.

And finally, MAKE UP!!

Benefit They're Real Mascara: Why, oh why, did this have to be good? Benefit is one of the more expensive brands of makeup so I have a hard time justifying paying $24 for just mascara. But this stuff did work really well. My lashes looked beautiful!. Dammit, Benefit!

Soft Lips Balm Cube: Blech. The scent and flavor are nice but the balm itself is awful. It's one of those where the more you use it, the dryer you lips feel. I know it doesn't make any sense. It's possible it has SPF in it, which is usually drying, or it could just suck ass. Didn't work for me. Couldn't even finish it.

Revo Lip Balm: Revo was kind of similar to SoftLips. The textures were different (Revo felt more waxy) and again, scent and flavor were nice. But my lips never really felt moisturized at all. Won't repurchase.

Rose MIne Lip Balm: I got this in a Meme box AGES ago. It took forever to work my way through the tube but that's just a statement to its greatness. It lasted on the lips for quite a while and was completely moisturizing. It had the look and feel similar to those silicone face primers. Sounds weird, I know, but it was awesome.

Y.E.T. Lip and Cheek Color: I loved this stuff. Smelled great and was such a soft pretty peach color that worked on both the lips and cheeks. Normally I don't like those combo things because they're usually not good for either. But this was nice. Unfortunately, it started to dry out and left my lips feeling gross so I had to toss it. *sad trombone*

Dear Berry Blusher: I loved this cream blush. Shaped like a little scoop of ice cream, it was a fantastic soft pink color that blended beautifully. Unfortunately, I couldn't use it up fast enough and it started to dry out. *chorus of sad trombones*

Benefit Porefessional Face Primer: Okay I think I finally figured out that this product DID break me out a little bit. No worries, though. I have other primers that work just as well that don't make my face look like a pizza.

Revlon Colorstay Concealer: This is a nice heavy concealer. It also has a bit of color correction for my purple bits under the eyes. Mostly I use it for zit concealment because the heavier creamy products get into the fine lines under my eyes and look icky. This tube got kinda old so I just bought a replacement - with the doe foot applicator instead of the twisty tube. Much better.

Catrice Eyeliner Pen: TERRIBLE! I talked about this in a PD, GFY post and it's just awful. Smudges like a mo-fo and transfers easily but near impossible to remove when you want to. So lame.

Essence Gel Liner: This stuff is great! It's super black, stays forever, doesn't smudge or transfer, but you can remove it easily. I had to buy another pot because this one dried out.

Wet & Wild Mega Liner: A great liquid liner. I tried out a whole shit ton of liquid liners and I ended up going back to this. I've repurchased already. This stuff does NOT budge and the teeny bottle lasts a long time. 

ELF Makeup Setting Spray: I love this stuff. Does a great job of setting my makeup and helping it to last just a little bit longer. Nothing lasts forever but this does extend the wear of my makeup! Already repurchased.

Whew! I think that covers it. Maybe I'll go through my drawer a little more often so I don't have to write such long posts. But I'm a lazy asshole so don't count on it.

Until next time, my lovelies!

November 2015 Morgue Drawer - PART I

Holy shitballs but October went by fast! Totally got away from me. I'm so very far behind on blog posts and reviews. Sorry about that! But now that the hubby's busy season is over (and he doesn't need my help until next year) and Halloween has come and gone, and all the GLAHW activities have calmed the fuck down for a while, I can get back to a more normal blogging schedule!

I'll post my Ipsy, 3B, and Universal Yums soon but for now, I have an overflowing Morgue Drawer that needs cleansing and sanitation. STAT! This will be broken up into two parts because seriously, who the hell wants to read this kind of stuff for hours at a time? So I'll do my best to get through this as quickly as possible!

First up is the short list of random stuff!

Bath and Body Works Foaming Hand Wash Ghoul Friend: I don't really have any deep feelings about foaming hand wash except it's kind of fun to use. BBW had a Halloween themed line of scents and this is one of 3 or 4 that I purchased. The strawberry and peony scents meld very well in this product. I loved it! Kinda sad when we finished it off. *le sigh*

Bath and Body Works Lavender Honey Shower Gel: The gel itself is very nice. Not drying. The scent leaves a lot to be desired though. I got a lot of honey off of it but not so much the lavender. Will not purchase again.

Dove Advanced Care Solid Deodorant: I thought it was good at first but the more I used it, the less it worked. Which is weird. Their 48 hour claim is pretty much horse shit.

Sensodyne Pronamel Gentle Whitening Toothpaste: The Sensodyne brand is awesome at relieving sensitivity in your choppers. The gentle whitening is a bit too gentle because I didn't notice any whitening going on at all. So I'll step up to their next level and let you know how it goes. But again, for sensitivity, this stuff is great.

Now for body and face lotions.

Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel: I talked about this in a PD, GFY post a while back. Finally used up this little tube. This product is fantastic. Smells great and really works at locking in moisture overnight. My skin felt great every morning after I used this. I hope that when I get the full size it works as well. I've been set up with samples before that are disappointing in full size. I'll let you know.

Hada Labo Gel: This is what I'm talking about. The sample of this was so good that the hubby commented the next morning on how great my skin looked. The full size was total shit. I had to use a huge amount or my face felt tight and dry the next morning. And I'm pretty sure this stuff made me break out a little. I didn't even finish the jar. I just couldn't take it anymore. LAME.

H2O Deep Sleep Recovery Cream: I didn't notice any difference in my skin after using this. Disappointing.

Eco Beauty Night Cream: I liked the face wash from this brand that I got from Ipsy a while back. So imagine my disappointment when this face cream didn't turn out to be anything special. It didn't smell as good as the cleanser, either. This brand is pretty pricey, too, so I won't be purchasing a full size.

Baume D'Amour Lotion: This is weird shit. It smells great when you first put it on. Eventually, though, you smell like a plastics factory. Also, after an hour, it's still tacky on the skin. So....no.

L'Occitane Milk Concentrate Lotion: The smell is okay but it does feel really nice on the skin.

Nivea Extended Moisture: I don't have super dry skin but I got this sample in my Walmart beauty box (I think) so why not try it anyway? This stuff is no bullshit. After two days, my skin felt awesome! I just had enough to put on my legs but that was enough for a test. If I didn't have to take a shower, I bet my skin would have felt wonderful even beyond the 48 hours. 

And finally the face masks/serums!

Burts Bees Renewal Intensive Firming Serum: I really like this stuff. I don't know how much it firms but my skin feels great when I use this serum. I started using it morning and night because it's so lightweight and I only use a couple drops. It smells and feels nice. I've already repurchased.

Murad Rapid Collagen Infusion: Made no difference in my skin whatsoever.

Philosophy Serum: Made no difference in my skin whatsoever.

Montagne Jeunesse Masks: the Green Tea peel off smelled the most artificial. Did not like it. The Anti Stress was all right. Smelled okay. The Black Seaweed is the 3rd or 4th one I've used. I love this peel off mask. Smells kinda funky but I can get past it when my skin feels as soft as an android's bottom after using it.

Pure Source Bamboo Sheet Mask: I LOVED THIS MASK! Got it in my 3B and held on to it for as long as possible. It was the only sheet mask I had in my arsenal so I'm very sad it's gone. I may splurge and buy a few of these (I think I talked about it in my 3B review - that it's a little pricey for a sheet mask but it's worth it).

And so concludes Part I of my Morgue Drawer. I hope you enjoyed it! Part II will be out next week sometime. So tremble in antici.....

3B September 2015 Beauty Box

Another beauty subscription I get is 3B: Beauty Beyond Borders. It's all Asian beauty products (mostly Korean) and goes for $12 per month. You get 4-5 sample/full sized items that aren't so east to come by in the US. But it's a great way to try them out and then if you fall in love, you can find them on-line! (I know 3B is working on a store front of their own which makes shopping for these things SO much easier) 

https://the3bbox.com/

I haven't tried the Leaders Mediu Snail Therapy hand cream yet (apparently snail essence is the latest trend in skin care...eww) as I have a couple others I need to work through first. But this looks full size, which runs around $8.

I've tried the Secret Key Honey Bee's spot control and yeah, that shit works. I worry its mostly alcohol (because that's what it smells like) but it dried up a giant zit I had within 36 hours. This is also full size, I think, and that costs anywhere between $10-$22 (depending on where you purchase it).

I've been using the RiRe Luxe Lash Essence for 3-4 days so I can't really tell if it's doing anything yet. You put it on at night and I guess it works its magic then. It's a clear fluid but it dries kind of sticky and hard, like a gel would. So if you don't like that, you probably won't like this. It's full size and goes for $16.

The Yu-Be skin scream smells like straight up menthol. Ugh. I'd heard a lot of great things about this product so you can imagine my disappointment. Because who the hell wants to walk around smelling like Halls or VapoRub? It does feel nice on the skin, though! Could make a nice stimulating foot cream so I'll let you know. This is definitely a small sample but the full size runs $16.

Overall I'm really happy with this month!

Walmart Beauty Box Fall 2015

For those who may not know, Walmart has a beauty subscription service four times a year (that's once a quarter for those of you playing at home). It's only $5 per box and you get so much stuff. Mostly sample sized, one to two full sized goodies, and a bunch of coupons. Check them out to get your own. https://beautybox.walmart.com/

Look at all this stuff! I've already tried a few of the products. The Dove deodorant is actually really nice. It's not an invisible solid or anything but it's so soft and works pretty well. So it's good to know I have a back up in case Secret goes out of business or it's unavailable for any reason at the store. That little bottle with the green juice is ACT mouth rinse. I like this brand a lot and this is the kind without alcohol so I can use it without burning off the surface skin cells of my mouth. I also tried the Crest Professional Polish 3D white 2-step sample. First, it's not enough to really get an idea if your teeth are any whiter (I got 2 uses out of it). Second, that's just too much work for a product that tastes terrible and burns a little bit.

I have not tried the Curel lotion, John Frieda hair conditioning treatment, or the Nivea lotion. The razor is a full sized product. I got laser hair removal a few years back but I do get a handful of stray hairs that grow unencumbered. I still need to shave from time to time so this was a cool product. But can we take a moment to appreciate the Roc Retinol serum? That shit will cost you $16 at Walmart and upward of $20+ at other drug stores. So DAYUM!

There are a bunch of coupons as well so this box, like all the others I've received, is worth every penny of $5!

Universal Yums September 2015 Review

Our Universal Yums box came a few weeks ago but I'm glad I waited to review. It gave both the hubby and me a chance to taste some of the items in there which gives me a better idea of what's good or not. If you don't know, Universal Yums is a subscription service that sends you either 6+ snacks or 13+ snacks from a different country each month ($13 or $25). If you like to eat food from different countries, check them out at: www.universalyums.com

September brings us snacks from Columbia! I think I was able to try most of the snacks. Let's get into it.

That is a shit ton of food, people! There are three bags of salty snacks. The Bacon-lime ones, which sounds like a weird combo, are DIVINE. The sweet plantains are awesome. The cheesy 'marble' ones suck major donkey dick. Tasted like cardboard. Even the dog didn't want one. The chewy coffee candies were fantastic! Soft but not sticky, unlike the coconut caramel things (green wrappers). The flavor on those were nice but I only nibbled a little piece because it was sticky like a Sugar Daddy and I didn't want to loose my expensive dental work!

I'm excited to try the chocolate spread which they recommend to eat with a spoon. There's also a sugar wafer cookie covered in chocolate that has me VERY excited. Oh, I almost forgot about the suckers. One is passionfruit and the other is watermelon. So they should be awesome.

That's a lot of food for $13. And we still have snacks from the other two boxes we've received! So far I'm highly recommending this service!

September 2015 Ipsy Bag Review

Okay. Finally getting to my September Ipsy bag review. For those of you who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly beauty subscription service that sends you samples (and full size from time to time) for $10 a month. Check them out for yourself at www.ipsy.com

I think I feel a cold coming on so I'd better get all my reviews in over the next couple of days or it'll be ANOTHER few weeks before I return! As always, these are my honest opinions.

Looking at the card, it seems the theme is Face Fashion (could have something Fall related on the back but honestly, I don't give a fuck). I didn't take any sneak peaks this month so I had no idea what was coming, not even the bag which I think it nice this time around. At first glance it looks pretty sweet, right? That's MOSTLY true. Let's get into it.

Trust Fund Nail Polish: never heard of this brand but from first look, and a quick swatchy-swatch on my pinkie nail, it's really pretty. It's a nice medium periwinkle color with a bit more purple to it. It does take 2 coats to get complete coverage but I like it! I believe it's full sized, too. It's called Elegantly Wasted (awesome) and goes for $15!  http://trustfundbeauty.com/collections/all-polish

Not Radio Soap Liquid Freud Lotion: Nice little sample size of this lotion but the smell is rather odd. The coconut comes off immediately but then it turns into this weird amalgamation of mango and vanilla and strangeness. It feels nice on the skin, though. Full size (12.6 ounces) goes for $18 and this is just over 1 ounce so count it as $1?        http://notsoapradio.com/Liquid-Freud-HandBody-Lotion_p_91.html

City Color Mascara Be Bold Mascara: I have some HD loose powder from City Color and I love it. So I'm excited to try this mascara. Lord knows I have a handful of unopened ones so it'll be a minute before I get to this. I think it's full sized, too, so it runs around $6.  http://citycolorcosmetics.com/eyes/mascara/be-bold-mascara/#.VgGAa99VhBd

NYX Eyeshadow Trio: I think this was specifically made for the Ipsy bag because I can't find the color combo anywhere. And there's no color name, just IPSYNYX01. So there you go. As you can see from the first pic, the shadows are not very pigmented. They're also a bit chalky. However, you can build up the color a bit if you want to work with them. They might pop better if you use them wet or over a bright base (like NYX jumbo pencil in Milk). I must say, though, the color stayed on for a long long time. They didn't melt together after a few hours (I'm looking at you, Too Faced) which seriously impressed me. For $6, it's not so bad.

JCat Beatuy #MOTD Slide On Eyeliner in Bronze: I've used JCat products before and they can be hit or miss. Though this pencil says the color is Bronze, it's more of a dark brown with a copper shift. It actually paired nicely with the NYX eye shadow above. It is waterproof so heaven help you getting it off. Which means it does have a lot of staying power, even in the waterline! I have very oily lids and my eyes water a bit so anything that goes on the tightline or waterline is GONE within 30 minutes. There was actually product still on both after wearing it for a good 6 hours. That is impressive. It's got the same staying power (for me) as Urban Decay's 24/7 liners. And for $4 (compared to UD's $20) this is a steal.  http://jcatbeauty.com/eyes-2/motd-slide-on-pencil-for-eyes

That's it for September. This month was all right. Rather average compared to all that I've received so far. But for an approximate value of $32, I'm not mad at it.

PDs, GFYs, and MEHs - May/June Edition(s)

Ah, that's such a better title than "Monthly Favorites", isn't it? Well, it's more ME anyway. As I'm so far behind in my reviews (damn you, sinus infection!) I thought I'd better combine May and June to get caught up a bit. So this might be a long list but I tried to include other stuff besides makeup! And I think I left out a few things because if I didn't, we'd be here all fucking week.

So let's begin, shall we?

First let's look at the Panty Droppers.

Gerard Cosmetics Lip Gloss in Bahama. I put a picture on my Instagram a while back when I first tried on this gloss. Normally I wouldn't pay $19 for a lip gloss but I got a coupon code from MannyMUA on YouTube (btw, you should check out his channel - he's adorable and looks prettier in make-up than most women I know) to get two lip products for $20. And when the lipsticks go for $24 and the glosses $19, it's kind of a no brainer there. This gloss was more like a liquid lipstick. It is so pigmented and absolutely gorgeous. I never though I'd wear a color like this but I do now. It even stains my lips so when the gloss wears off, there's still a soft lavender color left behind. It's awesome.

I don't remember how I found ZOMG Smells but it's an indy perfume company run by two women. I know one of them has gone back to school recently so the ordering process is backed up about 3 months but they are SO worth the wait. I love sweet and food smelling perfumes and these gals knock it out of the park with almost everything I've ordered (they make all sorts of smells - not just food). Sugar Dragon is my favorite so far and it smells like cherries and vanilla. *dies* *is ded*  You can order several different sizes, from their sample squees (1 ml vial) to an 8 ml sized bottle. The Squee Party allows you to order 10 samples for about $30 and it's a fantastic way to try new scents. 

BH Cosmetics Contour Palette: I normally don't buy high end make up. But when something that's costs $20 goes on sale at Haute Look for half that price, and I've wanted to try it out, I'll go ahead and purchase it. That's what happened with this palette. I don't contour. I'm too fucking lazy for that shit. I wanted to try the powders and the blushes, though. The yellow and brown powders are dead to me but the peachy undertone one (lower left) is perfect to set under my eyes and helps cancel out the dark blue I have there. The blushes are so pigmented you have to be REALLY careful when applying. Both colors are gorgeous and not QUITE as bright - but swatches always show up a lot heavier. The white powder may not do much for super pale people but on me it does work as soft highlighter and under eye brightener. I included the picture with the pen so you could understand the size of this bitch. I thought it was much smaller but happily, it's not. You get a lot of product here! (the swatches are backwards - they both go from right to left, top row on top, bottom row on bottom - sorry about that!)

Deadworld Soda. Dear gods this stuff is awesome! It's a pop created by Caprice Brands based on the comic, Deadworld. I've only tried the Orange and Vanilla Rootbeer and it's probably a good thing I'm so lazy because I'd be running to the store every week to replenish my supply. My friends, Steven Bejma and Don England, created the artwork for the bottles you see above (Steve on the Orange and Don on the Root Beer. Another buddy and GLAHW member, Joshua Werner, also did artwork for the Orange soda but I don't have one of those...*sad trombone*). They are sold are various locations in Michigan so go find some! Now!

And now for the Go Fuck Yourselves

Remember last month when I bitched about the Revlon Colorburst Lacquer Balm or whatever the fuck it was? That I probably wouldn't buy another one? Well, I couldn't really judge the shittiness of the product based on one sampling of it so of course, I went out and bought another one. And immediately regretted it. The swatch on my hand looks really nice but again, it's patchy on the lips (not as bad as the pink one last time) and it wore off within 30 minutes. Complete waste of money. Don't bother purchasing this.

Luckily I just had the one really bad product. For the MEHs...

When I first started using the Rimmel Perfection Match 2-in-1 Concealer, I though it was perfect. It did a great job of canceling out my purple under eye and the creamy consistency was easy to blend. But it's not that great of a concealer on blemishes and when I use it on the redness around my nose, it sinks into my pores and accentuates them. Looks terrible. So it's okay for one use and not so okay for another. Hence the meh rating. I can keep working with it for now. I haven't tried it as a highlighter, like it says on the package, so maybe...?

I was going to put all of these in the GFY category but felt it wasn't fair. These products get rave reviews from a lot of other people out there so maybe it's just me. The Maybelline Color Tattoo cream eyeshadows do not like my oily lids. The colors are nice but don't have much staying power, even if you put powder over them. The Revlon Rose Glow highlighter was straight up glitter. I don't mind glitter at all but if that's all that shows up on my skin, with no color tone to back it up, it goes in the garbage. The Maybelline Master Highlight was glittery, too, but I thought it was going to have a mauve color (the color is called Mauve so go figure). It was more rose gold (like super yellow gold) that looked TERRIBLE on me. It was also very powdery and made a total mess. The Babyface Blusher was such a disappointment. It's a lovely lavender shade in the pan but it didn't even show up on my skin! So sad...I think you'd have to be super pale, maybe translucent, for this to be visible on the skin.

That should do for now. I think I'm going to cover a lot more non-make up stuff for next month. At least, I'm going to try! I hope you use the links provided to check out some of the great stuff I found this month (or last month or whatever). Let me know if you do and what you think!

April Hits & Misses

Okay just looking at the title I created for this blows. I watch a lot of YouTube videos and most of the beauty enthusiasts (I'm sorry but 'guru' implies a certain amount of mastery or enlightenment which should be reserved for Dalai Lamas, IMHO) do monthly Raves & Rejects, products that they loved and hated during the past month. As I'm more of a sarcastic brat, I think I want to give my reviews jazzier names. So for the stuff I hated, let's call them Go Fuck Yourselves, or GFYs. For the stuff I loved, we'll call them Panty Droppers, or PDs. If it's something that more so-so, or I'm still on the fence about it, I'll offer up a MEH.

Let's start with the bad, aka GFYs.

Revlon Colorburst Balm Stain (#025, Sweetheart): I'm not sure how the other colors in this line work but this soft pink color was patchy as fuck. Not sure if you can tell in the picture but my bottom lip had darker staining toward the inside but there's a spot right in the middle that didn't take any color at all. That's never happened to me before. Yes, the product was soft and silky and the baby pink color was nice. But when a lip product doesn't cover your entire lip in solid color, whether it be opaque or sheer, it's rather useless. It stains very well but when the coverage it patchy to start, you can bet your sweet ass the stain is patchy, too. This thing is going straight in the garbage and I probably won't try another one.

Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara: I've heard and read so many reviews about how fantabulous this shit is but for me? It's crap. It does make my lashes look great but within an hour or so the product smudges above and below my lashes. Even with eyelid primer and powder (I have VERY oily eyelids and skin) I can't get more than maybe 2 hours before I look like some bastard spawn of a raccoon and Lady Gaga. I'm happy that other people can use this product with no difficulties but it's just not for me. 

Sexy Hair Soy Renewal Creme Oil: It's basically a blow dry styling creme that claims to speed up drying time and keeps the hair conditioned and smooth with soy, argon and cocoa oils. It smells really nice but did absolutely nothing for me. Maybe it's because my hair is super processed that this light creme didn't work. I used it once so if you like this stuff, I'd be happy to gift it to you!

Now for the PDs!

It's Skin Babyface Pore Powder: I got this from the Memebox US On-Line store. This is a translucent powder that helps smooth out the appearance of pores on the skin and let me tell you, it works. Now that I'm in my mid-40s, my pores have taken on a life of their own. Pretty soon I won't have to carry a purse anymore. I'll be able to keep all my crap in my face. So when I tried this, not hopeful by the way, I was completely amazed at how my skin looked. It feels like silk with this stuff on! And don't get me started on the packaging. So stinking cute and it's on sale right MEOW. https://us.memebox.com/babyface-pore-powder-5g?pdref=category

Oreos: Who doesn't love Oreos, ammirite? Every now and again Nabisco comes out with new and interesting flavors for these little delectables. The Mint flavor tastes just like the Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies. I'm not even exaggerating. They are phenomenal! I've seen these at Walgreens and Target. Go buy some. Do it NOW! (The berry ones in the picture are just meh. The filling tastes like very articifical berry and doesn't mesh that well with the chocolate cookie).

MEHs

I've come across a couple products this past month (or so) that just have not blown me away. The product themselves are nice but they are awful on my skin.

LIPS: The NYX Butter Lipstick in Little Suzie (bottom swatch) and the NYX High Voltage Lipstick in French Kiss (top swatch). I love NYX products but these two colors look straight up orange on me. I've only swatched them a couple times on my hands and lips so if anyone wants them, I'll gladly figure out how to sanitize them and give them to you.

EYES: Maybelline Fit Me Concealer in #15 Fair. Again, I've heard great things about this product but my skin doesn't appreciate it. Under the eyes it seems like a decent concealer. Not that much coverage but it looks nice. Unfortunately, it settles into the pores around my nose like crazy. It looks like I have cream colored polka dots converging on my nose like some kind of skin care army from Hell. I'm going to keep trying it out to see if I can get it to work but I'm not that hopeful.

I probably had a few more products I could have thrown in here but these were the highlights. Hope this review helps you find new loves or avoid potential heartaches.

Oh wow. Too much cheese...I'll be better next time.