Morgue Drawer February 2017

Holy crap I've got a lot of garbage...I mean, empties to go through. I got a new box (heh...dirty) to store them in and it's a lot bigger than the last one. So let's just get started.

I'm Ready for my Closeup

These piles include all my face masks, serums, or anything related to skin care.

Purpletale 5-Step mask: Really nice. The mask came in two pieces so it fit better than most one piece sheet masks. The whole pack includes cleanser, moisturizer, serum, and mask. I thought I'd wake up greasy but I didn't. Very nice little kit. (?)

Tosowoong Refresh masks: I can't remember what the pink one is but the blue was Sea Cucumber. Smelled super fresh and felt great. Very moisturizing. (CF - I think)

Tosowoong Rice Paper pack: This was kind of a DIY mask. You fill a shallow tray with the serum/essence and put the dried sheet in it for 5 minutes. Comes out pliable like jello/jelly. Doesn't stay wet and drippy and there was really no remaining serum to pat into the skin. Probably won't buy again. (CF)

Wish Formula honey fermented mask: Very dry on my forehead and dripping off my chin. The mask itself was super soft. My skin felt like the serum was equally distributed despite the mask feeling dry in some parts. Maybe it absorbed into the skin? It was okay. (CF)

Leaders Anti-pollution Mask: Fit terribly! The serum on it was great but since the mask's fit was so bad it didn't get onto all areas of my face. Too bad. (NCF)

Body Shop Ethiopian honey mask: Not a sheet mask - just straight up jelly to spread on the skin. Felt fantastic. But it never dried down so it was difficult to remove without a washcloth. Couldn't tell if it improved the feel of my skin, though. (CF)

Nan Well Aloe Collagen mask: The mask itself was the softest nicest mask yet. Very moisturizing serum. I think this has been my favorite so far of all the masks I've used. (?)

Ultrue I'm Sorry For My Skin (various): I love the jelly serums on these masks. Not sure if they all perform differently or not but they feel great and my skin loves them. The mask does dry out right above my lip, though. That's kind of irritating. (CF)

It's Skin Todak Todak Pack: I thought this would be jelly but it was like a clay mask, very similar to my Freeman's Strawberry and Chocolate. Felt great! (?)

Bon Vivant Masks (various): The olive/collagen and rose ones are nice, though they dry out on various spots on my face. The lime one was awful. My skin got very irritated and my cheeks were red the next day. (?)

MasquerAide Weather Warrior mask: It was...okay. (? - their WashBeautyCo is CF but can't find any info on MasquerAide itself)

Mario Badescu facial spray: I love this stuff and I've talked about it before. Unfortunately, it seems Mario is now selling in China where they require animal testing on imported goods. *sad trombone* (NCF)

Etude House Pink Vital Water and Age Defense Essential Softener: Both are very thin moisturizers. I wouldn't use them on their own but they're a nice addition if you need just a little extra moisture. (CF but sell in China)

V10+ Serums (various): I couldn't tell if these did anything and I got about a week's worth of use from each packet. They all felt like water or thinned down aloe gel. Didn't irritate my skin so that's good, I guess. (?)

Soft, Smooth, and...Stink Free?

Secret Outlast deodorant: I don't know why I put this in with the moisturizers...eesh. I've used this brand for years but for some reason, it doesn't seem to work that well anymore. I've switched up to a new brand so I'll let you know how that works. (NCF)

Burt's Bees Intense Hydration Night Cream: Meh. Very very thin formula so it didn't feel like it did that much heavy duty moisturizing, which is what a night cream is supposed to do. Also BB will be selling in China so they can no longer be considered cruelty free. (NCF)

Dead Sea Premier body butter: I got accosted by one of those mall kiosk people and ended up with 3 tubs of this and 3 tubs of a body salt scrub. While the smell on this body butter IS AMAZING, and it does moisturize well, it's not worth the $$$ I got swindled into paying for it. (CF)

Alba Hawaiian lip balm: Good balm, didn't wear off too quickly or dry my lips. But the pineapple scent was just too overpowering. (CF)

Dessert Essence lip rescue: Meh. Little drying. (CF)

Purlisse lip nourisher: This was okay. Similar texture to Malin & Goetz but not as thick or long lasting. (CF)

Malin & Goetz Mojito lip balm: I got this AGES ago in an Ipsy bag, I think. I kept it on my nightstand but didn't use it every night so that's why it too so long to use up. It felt like the never ending tube! Product is fantastic. Thick clear balm, stays on all night (yes, all night), and smells like lime! Would definitely repurchase. (CF)

Yu-be skin cream: This is really only good for the feet. The menthol scent is super strong and I couldn't handle it on my hands. BUT...if you have sore feet, rub this stuff on them. Awesome. (CF)

My Makeup...MY MAKEUP!

NYX Makeup Remover: This stuff was pretty awesome. Left a little film but that doesn't bother me. The super small size does, though. There are other things I want to try so now that I've used these up on moving on to bigger and better (I hope). (CF)

ELF Cleansing Cloths: I just use these to clean off swatches. Don't like them for my face or eyes but for $3 a pack, I don't feel like I'm wasting money. (CF)

Sweet Libertine Mineral Veil: I found this company on Etsy. I don't think they exist anymore (I got this years ago) but this stuff is gorgeous. Adds a soft glow to the face/body without glitter. (As in indy company, I'd guess they were/are CF)

Too Cool for School Lip Balm: Not sure if this is a balm per se but that's how I used it. It was a soft pink/peach color that was perfect for just adding a little color and shine. Unfortunately, it was pretty drying on the lips and I never made it through the whole pot before it dried out. (?)

Pur Cosmetics Volume Vixen mascara: Rather thick and gloppy formula and smelled terrible! Didn't so much volumize as get all over my eye lids to make it LOOK like the base of my lashes were thick. Lame. (CF)

The Leftovers

Tom's of Main Toothpaste: I normally use the sensitive kind but had some whitening stuff I needed to use up. I've loved every kind of tried from this brand and will continue to use the sensitive. It's the only one that doesn't destroy the inside of my mouth. (CF)

Hask Strengthening shampoo: I don't think this strengthened anything but it's a decent shampoo. You know, it cleaned my hair. (CF)

Soap & Glory Rich and Foamous body wash: Love this stuff. Smells like oatmeal cookies. By the time I got to almost the end of the bottle, the product had thinned out and I needed to use 10 pumps to get it to foam up. So probably won't get it again. Maybe. (CF)

Spring Valley Tea Tree oil: I love using this for spot treating zits or problem spots on my face. Doesn't really matter what brand it is. Unfortunately, I think this one expired (the date rubbed off) and it really fucked up my face for over a week. Gotta be more careful next time. (?)

Tarte Deep Dive gel cleanser: Holy balls this stuff is awesome. My skin felt amazing, almost like I used one of those gel peel products (you know, you rub it all over your face until the dead skin balls up and you rinse it off). This is pricey, though, so not sure if I'll bite the bullet and order a full size. (CF)

I'm exhausted. That'll do for now!

Universal Yums February 2017 Review

For those who may not know, Universal Yums is a monthly subscription service. For $13 (or $25) you get a box full of candy and snacks from a different country. Check them out here: UY.

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

This month's box comes from ITALY! Here's some trivia for you (answer at the end of the post):

When McDonald's first opened in Italy in 1986, what did some Italians do in protest? A.Give away free spaghetti outside the restaurant to remind patrons of Italy's culinary heritage; B.Buy Big Macs just to dramatically throw them away in front of TV cameras; C.Sneakily fill ketchup dispensers with marinara sauce; D.Form a human blockade so that no would-be patrons could enter.

Amica Lemon Chips: Sounds weird but these were delicious! A little like vinegar chips but not that tangy/sour. Just a hint of lemon and salt. Perfect with a sandwich.

Laurieri Orange Froletti Cookies: These were all right. Tasted like average shortbread cookies with a hint of orange.

Cabrioni Wafers alla Nocciola: Hazelnut chocolate is very popular in Italy and these wafer cookies were filled with it. So good but not super sugary and sweet. Pretty perfect, actually.

Cantuccini (Biscotti): I love biscotti and these teeny little cookie were...okay. I know how biscotti are made and how hard they are but even these tasted kind of stale. Coffee helped a little.

Gran Art Rosemary Stuzzichina Toscana: Basically baked rosemary crackers. I'm not a fan of rosemary but these were NOT overpowering at all. Very mild but still tasty.

Monardo Gianduiotto Chocolates: MOTHER OF GOD THIS IS THE BEST CHOCOLATE I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. Fuck Belgium and Switzerland. They've got NOTHING on these. Smooth rich chocolate with a hint of hazelnut. The only way you know these are authentic is because of the gold wrapper. GO GET YOU SOME IF YOU CAN.

Anise Candy: Nice little hard candies with a smooth anise flavor. I'm not an anise fan so I was worried. They were great, though. Also aid in digestion, apparently.

Monardo Chocolate Pralines: We got the hazelnut and cereal (puffed rice) and milk and cereal flavors. Smooth and creamy - great flavor. Very sweet!

Awesome food in this month's box. The clue for next month makes us think it'll be someplace in the Middle East but can't be sure yet.

TRIVIA ANSWER: A. A group of Italians cooked spaghetti to a perfect al dente then served it to would-be patrons. Many Romans were outraged by the restaurant in 1986, calling it a 'degradation of Rome' and 'Americanization' of Italian cuisine. For this reason, Starbucks hasn't opened a single shop in Italy yet, though plans are in place to launch their first store in Milan this year. (Yeah, good luck with that, Starsucks)

Ipsy February 2017 Review

For those who don't know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10 you get 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized beauty, skin, and hair care products. Check them out here: IPSY

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

This month's COMPLETELY USELESS theme is #ipsymuchlove or something. WHO CARES? The bag feels like denim, which I loathe, and the orange trim just makes me want to gag. That said, however, I like what's inside!

Luxie Beauty Rose Gold Blush Brush 514: I love brushes. The more you have the less often you have to wash them...lazy, I know. This brush is soft and fluffy so it would be great for those super pigmented blushes that go on crazy from one tap of the pan. Full size and worth $18. (CF and vegan)

The Organic Pharmacy Lip & Eye Cream: Never mad at an eye cream, especially one that doubles as moisture/care for the lips, too. Not sure I want to put that kind of multitasker on my mouth but I'm willing to try. Especially since it's formulated by homeopathic doctors so it SHOULDN'T be a risk to ingest it, right?? Dubious Peggy is dubious. Apparently this 10ml tube is full size and goes for $48. (CF)

MOR Rosa Noir Hand & Body Milk: While I'm not so sure this lotion is all that great (put some on and a couple hours later my hands were dry and flaky - and I hadn't washed them at all), the scent is intoxicating! Rose, hibiscus, and fig. It smells good enough to eat and/or wear as a perfume. They suggest slathering this on the hands and putting cotton gloves on overnight so I might try that to see how it works. 17 ounce full size is $36 so this 1 ounce sample is around $2. (CF but may sell in China)

Elizabeth Mott Whatup Beaches Matte Bronzer: I don't bronze all that often. If it's the middle of winter or my foundation is a bit too pale, sure, I'll throw some on. And the color on this is perfect - neutral and matte. HOWEVER, the sample size just fits an eye shadow brush so I won't be using this as a bronzer. It's a great eye shadow, though. 8g is $25 so this .07g sample is probably just under $3. (CF)

NYX Butter Lipstick in Lifeguard: NYX is one of my favorite makeup brands. And these lipsticks are beautiful, creamy, and comfortable. Though the tube itself made me think this would be a brown shade, it's a nice deep red that is absolutely gorgeous! Not that I don't already have enough red lippies....THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS TOO MANY REDS!! Full size - $6 but they're having a 40% off sale now! (CF)

Holy crap this bag is worth about $77. Pretty awesome!

NEW! Lipp Beautifully January 2017 Review

Yes, yes, yes. I'm becoming a subscription whore. But I'm already a lipstick whore so this service is perfect for me.

Lipp Beautifully is a monthly subscription service. For $5.95 a month you get four lipstick samples, four sponge applicators, and a coupon code for discounts you can use at the LB website (except for the Limited Edition shades, which I discovered when I tried to use my code - so sad...). All their products are made in the USA and are cruelty free (yay - I'm not sad anymore!). Check them out here: LIPP BEAUTIFULLY

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

The four samples come in a simple, small padded envelope with a cute little card describing their LE sample shade month. On the back is a discount code but I'm not sure I can share it (I'll find out). The samples come in little clam shell pods and you might not think there's much there but I'll get 4-6 uses for each. At least. I'm not the type that reapplies worn off product all the time. They smell like a fruity/candy lip balm, too. Not super strong so if you're sensitive to smells, these probably won't bother you. 

The sponge tip applicators ARE SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER THAN THOSE LAME ASS CHEAP LIP BRUSHES. Makes it super easy to apply lipstick. I'm kind of an uncoordinated clod so anything that makes me look like I know what I'm doing and NOT having a stroke in the middle of application is a win in my book. Also each shade actually stains the lips so even when the product wears off (not for hours, btw) there's a stain left behind. Throw some lip balm over it and you're good to go!

They sell regular lipsticks ($20), limited editions ($10), and lip scrub ($12). So if you find something you like one month, you can go purchase a full size.

I don't know if each month will include the exact same styles (Trend, Everyday, cream finish, etc.) but stick with me and we'll find out together. For now, here are swatches of the samples I received for January.

Adolescent was a bit too neon for me. It's gorgeous but just not my thing. Plus one little part of my lower lip, that was pretty dry and scaly, was stained hot pink for 2 DAYS!

Danger was the first I tried and I thought for sure I was going to hate it. I actually dig it! I'm not one for orange lipsticks. Even orange based reds look terrible but I really like this one.

Texture is a beautiful dusty rose (I fucking hate that phrase but that's exactly what this color is). And they're right. It's perfect for every day.

Paris, naturally, is my favorite. A gorgeous classic red. You just can't go wrong with this. It is limited so if you like it too, get to their website and order. It won't be around forever.

For $6, I'm pretty pleased with this service. Maybe that will change as the months go on but for now, I'm happy I signed up! A friend of mine commented on Facebook that this might be a good service for her daughters. And I can't agree more! Anyone who's just getting into makeup would probably enjoy this subscription.

3B January 2017 Review

The first bag from 3B this year looks pretty boss! It's all about the skin care for January. For those who don't know, 3B is a monthly subscription service. For $15 a month (I'm grandfathered in at $12 for another year, I think) you get 4-5 sample and full sized Asian beauty, skin, and hair products. Check them out here: 3B

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

Also keep in mind that Asian beauty products are a little more elusive with info on Cruelty Free status. There's a lot of conflicting info but if I can find any I'll post it.

Holy cow I got 6 products this month and it's all masks. Score!

23.5N Rice Soothing Gel Mask (the little pot on the left): I'm excited about this because it's supposed to sooth irritated skin. And my face freaked out a few weeks ago from what I think was expired tea tree oil. It's been a little (read: fucking hard core) sensitive since. And I can get 6 uses out of this pot. Sweet. Travel size: $6 (Taiwan -CF)

WEI Beauty Golden Root Purifying Mud Mask (the other little pot that says WEI on it): I love me some mud masks! I'm a little scared of this because I think the WEI product I got last month re-irritated my skin after it recovered from the tea tree oil incident. So I really don't want to use this. We'll see... $42 for 8 pods. One pod: $5 (China -CF)

Hada Labo Anti-Aging Face Mask: I've used this brand's face lotions before with mixed results but since I'm addicted to sheet masks, I'm sure I'll use this. Full size: $4 (Japan -CF)

For Beloved Girl Extreme Moisture Sheet Mask: This one's description looks like it's extra good for dry skin and provides a ton of moisture. Anyone who lives in the Midwest in winter knows moisture is a rare thing until April. Full size: $3 (Taiwan -?)

SkinRX Madecera Express Sheet Mask: This mask has become popular because it uses a naturally fermented form of ceramide which helps the skin absorb products. This mask is also soothing so again, I'm excited to try it. Full size: $6 (Korea -CF)

Maskeraide Weather Warrior Sheet Mask: Who wouldn't want to put a warrior on their face? Wait... Brightening and moisturizing properties - I'm in. Full size: $7 (Korea -CF)

A total value of $31 this month. Not bad for all the products being face masks, which in general, are pretty cheap. Whoop!

Universal Yums January 2017 Review

The first box of 2017 arrived about a week ago. Seemed earlier than what we've been usually getting so I'm not mad about it! For those who may not know, Universal Yums is a monthly subscription service. For $14 (or $25) every month you will receive a box of candy and snacks from a different country. Check them out here: UNIVERSAL YUMS

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

January brings us Ukraine. Here's some trivia for you (answer at the bottom of the post):

What political part actually exists in Ukraine? A.The Red Party; B.The Birthday Party; C.The American Party; D.The Internet Party

That big card in the lower left is new this month. It's basically a rating sheet on the left for each food item. There are also a couple of little games on the right side. Yes, I finished the puzzle to get a hint for next month! Anyway, let's get into the food. I've decided that I need to try each item before posting here. That way you can get a better idea of what each treat tastes like!

Who Said Muuu?: A sectioned wafer bar with a sweet creamy milk filling. Waaaaay too overpowering flavor of milk in this. I just ate one little section and put the rest back. 

Macho Forest Mushroom Chips: Mostly yum. Taste like good potato chips with just a hint of mushroom flavor. Unfortunately, there's a weird lingering aftertaste that needs to be washed out with candy or alcohol. I guess that's not such a bad thing after all.

Oreiro Apricot & Cream Bon Bons: OMG these are the best things in the whole box. More wafer outside with a creamy filling (but these are just individual pieces instead of a bar that's got notches in it. Does that make sense? I think I'll need to start taking pics of the actual food...). Anyway, the filling is absolutely delicious. More delicate than orange or citrus, the apricot flavor is wonderful.

Roshen Creme Brulee Chocolate Bar: This isn't just plain chocolate, which would have been delicious all by itself. This candy is filled with a soft gooey caramel. Messy but awesome.

Red Caviar Bread Snacks: Remember the little hard crunchy bits from the Russia box (Korochki, I believe they were called)? This is the same style treat but caviar flavored. Very very very VERY salty and fishy tasting. Ugh.

Crazy Bee Candies: Soft gummy chews with a liquid center (think Gushers but softer). We got the lemon-lime flavor. It was great!

Svitoch Chervonyi Mak Candy: This is supposed to be a chocolate lovers ultimate fix. Um...no. Kind of a dry texture, gritty, and a bitter after taste. Me no like.

Glass of Milk caramels: Very good. Soft texture but not sticky. The delicate milk flavor is so much better than the overpowering milk filling on that first snack.

Fizzy Boom Hard Candies: Think Zots but with better flavor. The candy itself is nice and fruity and the fizz adds a little sour surprise when you get to it. 

Overall I enjoyed this box with just a few exceptions. Based on the monthly clue on the back of the pamphlet, we think the next country will be Italy! Maybe that LEMON hint means we'll get something Limoncello flavored??

TRIVIA ANSWER: D. The Internet Party in Ukraine wants to create an electronic government that exists without bureaucracy (and paperwork).

Ipsy January 2017 Review

As far as this subscription goes, 2017 is not off to bang up start. Yes, first world problems, I know. For those who are new here, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10 each month, you'll receive 4-5 sample sized (sometimes full) makeup, beauty, and skin care products. Check them out here: IPSY

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

The theme for this month is Metropolis or some ridiculous bullshit. Whatever. The bag is...odd. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. It's a soft plastic with a grey satin finish. The holed outer sheath over a solid bag is rather interesting. Definitely the most unique one so far. The products themselves are okay.

Crown Brush Beaute Basics C405 Contour Blush Brush: Whew, that's a mouthful. I love Crown Brushes. Super soft, the handle is ergonomically designed, and it's cruelty free. I don't contour but this works great as a blush/bronzer brush for me. Full size this goes for $7.50. If you need brushes but don't want to spend a shit ton of money, I recommend this brand! (CF)

Temptu Base Smooth & Matte Primer: Again with the airbrush products. Granted, you can use their stuff without one but the design of the bottle makes it a little more difficult. I'm not sure how this one works yet so I'm excited to find out. Full size is $35 for 1 ounce so this 1/4 ounce sample is approximately $8.75. (Site claims CF status but they sell to China).

Clarisea Instant Glow Lavendar Powder Exfoliant: I don't know about you guys but I really don't want to put a SALT scrub on my face. I've used sugar ones before, mixed with honey and oil, but that's as rough as I like to get on my face (wow...dirty). So I don't imagine I will be using this at all. Plus the top is cracked and the safety seal came off in the top like it had already separated from the jar. Um...no. Full size at 5 ounces is $14. This 1 ounce sample goes for $2.80. (CF)

TheBalm Bahama Mama Bronzer/Shadow/Contour Powder: I've always wanted to try this product because the beauty community on YouTube goes APE SHIT for it. I do love the brand so I was double excited to get this. Unfortunately as you can see from the swatch, this basically looks like a mustard based poop stain on my skin. Ick. It does blend out nicely so it's not terrible but I don't think I'll be turning to this for bronzing again. I don't contour so maybe I'll try is as an eye shadow. Full size (7 grams) goes for $20 so this .5 gram should be somewhere around $1.50. (CF)

Manna Kadar Cosmetics 3-in-1 Fantasy Eye Shadow: Apparently this can work as an eye shadow, blush, or highlighter (hence the 3-in-1 claim). The swatch doesn't do it justice. It looks like a champagne light tan gold but if you turn a little it definitely had a rose gold vibe to it. It's pretty pigmented and soft. It comes in one shade that's supposed to be good for all skin tones. Full size is $19 but can't find any pan amounts. I did find the travel size on Amazon, which is the same as what I've got, so it's worth $7. (CF)

This whole bag is about $27.50. Not a super value, Ipsy. I really only like the Crown brush and the Manna Kadar shadow. *le sigh* Perhaps February will be better. 

Universal Yums December 2016

Already 2017, huh? Well let's hang on to that bitch 2016 for just a moment longer, shall we? December brought us a little taste of Germany from Universal Yums. In case you don't know, UY is a monthly subscription service. For $13 (or $25) each month you'll get snacks and candy from a different country. It's actually a lot of fun! Check them out here: UNIVERSAL YUMS

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

TRIVIA: In Germany, you're not breaking the law if you: A.Refuse to pay taxes; B.Escape from jail; C.Drink and drive; D.Smoke in a public place (answer at the end of the post)

Lorenz Curly Peanuts: These aren't actual peanuts. It's another one of those puffy corn snacks but they taste like straight up fresh peanuts. I have no idea how these countries can make corn taste so much like other stuff but it amazes me every time. Very tasty!

Leibniz Butterkeks: These are supposed to be shortbread cookies and they look pretty dang delicious. 

Sallos Black Licorice Candy with Herbs: I LOATHE black licorice. But the little card assures me that with the addition of herbs into this little candy, the black licorice flavor is muted and quite pleasant. Personally I don't believe them but I'm willing to give it a shot. Someday. Maybe.

Milka Oreo Chocolate Bar: This treat will be here in the US this month but it's already out in Germany. Not sure how to feel about this so I haven't tried it yet. It's basically Oreo filling with cookie bits inside covered in chocolate. I suppose for those whose favorite part of an Oreo is the filling will enjoy these most.

Dr. Quendt Russich Brot: I was excited for these alphabet cookies but I have to say I'm a bit disappointed. They basically taste like fortune cookies with a little bit of caramel flavored icing on top. Kinda lame actually.

Schluckwerder Marzipan: I've never tried marzipan before so I was most excited for this. Many people say it's the same as basic almond paste but I think marzipan is A LOT sweeter. I personally loved this. The thin chocolate coating didn't really add anything to the awesome almond flavor of this little candy. I need more of this in my life!

Ahoj-Brause Cola Bonbons: Not sure why these are called bon bons as they're just hard candy. But I swear to gods they taste just like cola! There's a fizzy center which is supposed to be like the carbonation but it's not that great. Zots do it better. But the flavor is awesome!

BONUS: Riegelein Chocolate Santa: Great smooth milk chocolate candy. Apparently Riegelein is famous in Europe for its chocolate and I can taste why!

Very nice way to end 2016. According to the clue, we think January's box will be Russia!

TRIVIA: B. Escaping from jail isn't considered a crime in Germany as Germans consider it a basic human instinct to want to be free. (is it me or is that little ironic?)

3B December 2016 Review

I realized I missed a month somewhere in 2016 so instead of killing my brain trying to figure out which one, we're just gonna call this December and be done with it!

For those who don't know, 3B is a beauty subscription service. For $13 (old price) a month you get 4-5 sample and full sized beauty, hair, and skin products. Check them out here: 3B

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

Manyo Factory Herb Green cleansing oil: I love cleansing oils. I'm not sure why but I do. If you have oily skin don't be afraid to use these! They're great for removing face makeup. This one not so much on the eye makeup though. It is an extra step so you'll have to wash with your regular cleanser afterwards. The smell on this is super intense (oils include: tea tree, sage, rosemary, lavender, and green tea) so if you're sensitive to scents, you might wanna skip this one. Full size is $30 so I imagine this sample is around $10. (Korea - CF)

V10 Plus skin perfecting serum (all those colorful little packets): We got 5 different types of serums to try (they make 11 all together) and since you only need a couple drops each use, these will take a LOOONG time to use up. But you can mix different ones together! I've tried the pink one once already and a teeny bit does indeed go a long way. Absorbed very quickly, felt nice and light. A full bottle goes for $98 but since you can't order it on-line I can't find how much comes in a full size. Let's just guess each of these is valued around $2. (Japan - ?) 

When Last Choice sheet mask: Ahhh...I can't get enough sheet masks! This one is supposed to help with dull uneven skin and provide long lasting moisture. And it's the jelly consistency kind. Love those. I'm in! According to Sephora's website, this stuff is vegan so that's pretty much cruelty free. This is full size and goes for $7. (Korea - CF)

Wei Beauty Five Sacred Grains rapid glow milk: That's a mouthful. This is a toner and essence in one. It is extremely lightweight but when you layer it with other serums and/or oils, it does provide an extra layer of moisture. At least, as far as I can tell from the one time I used it. Full size is $48 so this sample is around $8. (China - CF)

COSRX pimple acne master patch: I got these pimple patches before (from another brand) and they don't do DICK as far as I can tell. But I'll try this one just in case it's any different or better. Basically you take a little patch and put it on a pimple you have. Wear it overnight and remove it in the morning. Easy peasy. This is full size and costs $5. (Korea - CF)

All righty. This month's value is probably somewhere around $40, which is decent. I'm excited to give more of these products a try in the coming winter season!

Ipsy December 2016 Review

Almost end of the year, folks. Where the FUCK did 2016 go? Personally, I'm happy to see it leave.

For those who don't know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10 every month you'll get sample (sometimes full) sized beauty, hair, and skin products in a reusable make-up bag. Check them out here: IPSY

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

This month's theme is Carpe P.M. Have I mentioned how much I LOATHE these fucking useless themes? That said, the bag is kind of adorable. At first I was hesitant but the fuzzy deep fuschia wine colored bag is growing on me! Also the products look pretty fucking sweet.

Mint Pear beauty sponge: I adore makeup sponges. They make foundation look flawless and they're also great for smoothing out concealer or any other cream product. Even nice to tamp down too much highlighter (is there such a thing as too much highlighter??). I haven't used this yet but even dry it feels soft enough. It looks full size which is valued at $20. (CF)

UPDATE: I just used this the other day and it SUUUUUCKS. It does not absorb water like it's supposed to and felt like I beat myself up with rock when I tried to apply foundation. 

Make Beauty moonlight primer: I've never seen a primer start out looking like the black ooze that's usually involved with alien abductees. This product claims to protect the skin against High Energy Visible light and Infra Red light - both which apparently fuck your shit up in the premature aging department. It feels super light and absorbs quickly. Haven't used it as a primer yet so I'll let you know. 1 fl. ounce goes for $55 so this .1-ish ounce should cost around $5.50. (CF) This company also donates 10% of its sales to We See Beauty foundation. Cool.

Tarte Cosmetics Tarteist Glossy Lip Paint in WCW: I love Tarte cosmetics, man. So anytime I get something in one of my bags I'm happy. The formula on this lip paint is smooth, not sticky at all. The color is fucking gorgeous! That said, though, it is streaky (which you can see in the hand swatch) and dark glossy lip products just love those crevices around my lips. I can use a lip liner with this but I'm less likely to reach for this because of those two factors. Full size is $20 so this sample is worth around $3. (CF)

Cake Beauty heavy cream intensive hand repair balm: This stuff smells like straight up vanilla cake. So delicious! And it's a super thick hand cream that works pretty dang well. And now is the time of year for this kind of treatment! Full size costs $22 so this sample should be valued around $6.50. (CF - and Canadian!)

NYX Prismatic eyeshadow in Punkheart: I love NYX and I love their prismatic eyeshadows. These little pans of almost duochrome wonderfulness are super pigmented and blend out like a dream. I have Frostbite already so I'm excited to add this gorgeous plumy purple shade to my collection. This is full size and goes for $6.

Overall looks like this bag is worth somewhere around $41. Not too bad. Yes, I've had higher valued bags but I don't think I've been as happy with all the products like this. Nice way to end the year, Ipsy! And with all cruelty free companies. Hooray! Now PLEASE start making cards with product info already. Maybe that can be your New Year's resolution, m'kay?

Universal Yums November 2016

Yeah, yeah. It's already December. But I don't get this one until later in the month so deal with it. It also gave me some time to eat stuff!

For those who may not know, Universal Yums is a monthly subscription service of FOOD. Each month, for $13 or $25, you'll get a box of delicious snacks from around the world. Check them out here: UNIVERSAL YUMS

(I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

November brings us INDONESIA! Here's a little trivia for you. Answer at the end of the post. Indonesia experiences at least one of these everyday. A. Earthquakes; B. Hurricanes; C. Typhoons; D. Volcanic Eruptions

Tic Tac Spicy Crackers: Haven't tried these yet even though the card assures me they're not THAT spicy. That's more the hubby's thing. But they look fun. Who doesn't like spicy balls?

Superstar Triple Chocolate Wafer: SOOOPER excited for this. Again, we haven't tried it yet but it looks awesome. Chocolate wafers with chocolate filling covered in chocolate. Um, yes please.

Choki Choki Choco Cashew Spread: I just tried this yesterday. Think what a rich chocolate bar feels like when it's mostly melted and that's what you've got in a tube. The cashew adds an awesome flavor with the chocolate. So much better than Nutella (which I know is hazelnut but I'm trying to give you an idea of what this is).

Richeese Rolls: These are like those rolled wafer cookies filled with some kind of sweet creme but in these you get Swiss cheese. Not really a Swiss fan so I might skip this one.

Momogi Keju Cheese Stick: More Swiss cheese? Apparently it's not the taste but the shape of this snack that makes it interesting. Um, that's not really selling me on it. We'll see...

Barley Mint Candy: Very interesting mint candy. The barley gives a surprisingly complementary flavor to the mint. I know it sounds weird but it really works.

Beng Beng Chocolate Bar: Pretty sure this was the first thing we ate from this box. It's very similar to the $100,000 Bar we've got here: chocolate covered caramel and rice krispies except this one didn't seem overly sweet, if that's possible. Yummy!

Roast Corn Cheetos: First I thought, "Cheetos? Really?". But these were not a disappointment. Taste like roasted sweet corn with the familiar crunch of Cheetos. SOOOO GOOOD!

Nano Nano Sweet & Sour Candy: The booklet says it's sweet and sour. The package says sweet and tangy. I don't know what the hell this stuff is. They're little hard candies, individually wrapped, but I have no fucking idea what the flavor it's supposed to be! Not bad but not really good either. The orange is very subtle but the other flavor is...?? I got Cup of Soup. The new friend GLAHW made at Steel City, Jarrod, got cucumber. Don and Steve couldn't really quite place it. MontiLee didn't know what to make of it either. But there are two packages of it in this box so I'll give it another go...maybe...

That's it for November. Stay tuned for what we think will be Germany in December!

Trivia Answer: A. Earthquakes. Indonesia had 897 of them in the past year.

Ipsy November 2016 Review

Holy crap this month snuck up on me! When I got that pink envelope in the mail I was completely unprepared. Usually I feel like I've been waiting for months and months for it to show up...

Anyway, for those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10 you get sample (sometimes full) sized beauty, skin, and hair care products in a reusable make up bag. Check them out here: IPSY

(I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

The theme this month is Rock Starlet, whatever the FUCK that's supposed to mean. OMG so useless! The bag is kinda cute, though. It's made of that neoprene squishy material which is cool. The little star zipper pull is also cute. But the products this month literally made me gasp out loud. Except the first one so let's get that out of the way.

Pur-Lisse blue lotus balancing moisturizer: I got an eye cream from this brand before and it stung like a mother fucker. Even the lip balm I got last month stings a bit. So I'm not happy to put more of their acid on my fucking face. I'll try to be brave but don't hold your breath. Full size is $55 for 1.7 ounces (fuck off) so this .5 ounce sample is probably around $18. (CF)

Eyeko Skinny liquid eyeliner deluxe in Black: I have heard so many great things about this brand so imagine my excitement when I got a sample of their liquid liner! I forgot to take a swatch pic but it's super black and dried very quickly with no smudging. Update: It's not that black on the eyeball and it does break down in the wing part, when I draw one obvi. But it can be layered without crumbling or looking like crap. The 2g full size is $18 so this 1.2 gram is just about $9. (CF)

Absolute New York Matte Stick in Dark Red: I love me some red lipstick! I tried to swatch it on my lips but with my new bite splint it looked kind of goofy (yes, I simply could have removed it but I just put it in and fuck you, it's my mouth!). But the swatch on my hand is GORGEOUS! The angle of the bullet is nice but it's not tapered so application is a bit messy. It dries down to look matte but does not feel drying at all. It's very comfortable. And it smells like candy! Not transfer proof, though, so keep that in mind! It looks full size which is $6. (CF)

Tarte Maracuja Oil: I'm not opposed to face oils and this one has had a lot of hype. With winter coming, I'm going to need extra moisturizing. This product, supposedly, also brightens and smooths skin's texture. It can also be used as a make up remover, hair tamer, and a cuticle oil. Though at $48 a pop, I'll save it for my face. This .7 ml sample costs about $20.

TheBalm Mad Lash mascara: I've never tried this brand's mascara before. Though the eyeliner I just reviewed was crap, I'm still excited for this. Apparently this product delivers great volume. I'll let you know. Full size (8 mls) is $18 so this 2.5 mls sample is around $5.50. (CF)

Overall this bag is valued around $58.50. And everything was from a brand that's cruelty free. Whoop! Good job this month, Ipsy!

Universal Yums October 2016 Review

Again, I missed a month (or possibly two) but I'm back on the Review Wagon with October's Universal Yums box. We just got the November one but since we hadn't opened October yet, I figured I wouldn't skip it! November will be coming soon...

For those who may not know, Universal Yums is a monthly subscription service. For $13 (or $25) you get a box of candy and snacks from a different country each month. Check them out here: UNIVERSAL YUMS

October brings us goodies from RUSSIA! Trivia Time: Which country is still fighting WWII with Russia? 1. USA; 2. GERMANY; 3. JAPAN; 4. ITALY (answer at the bottom of the post)

(I'll go left to right, top to bottom)

3 Korochki Holodets: These aren't true holodets, which are cold meat jellies (ugh) but the flavor of these little crunchy niblets is of the traditional Russian dish. They start off tasting like straight up roast beef! Then they take a weird turn toward "what the fuck" then veer back to regular meat. Then skip off the road again. Very strange yet pleasant and bewildering.

Ruzik Vanilla Corn Puffs: Think Corn Pop cereal but with a texture of a regular cheesy poof. The vanilla coating on these are more powdery than smooth and they taste sweeter than regular corn pops. They are pretty awesome!

3 Korochki Salmon &Cheese: Haven't opened these yet but as they're made by the same people that did the holodets one, I'm thinking they're the same type of snack. I'm a little afraid...

Skazochnly Strawberry Sponge Cake: Saving this one for the hubby because apparently it tastes like strawberry short cake and he loves that stuff! It does have a nice give to it when I squeeze it so I'm hoping it's nice and moist and tastes good!

Blackcurrant Candies: The description says they're chewy but they feel like little rocks. I anticipate the flavor will be awesome, though, so it doesn't really matter!

Mikaello Chocolate Covered Apricot w/Walnut: This is the flattened empty wrapper above. It was DELICIOUS. It does have a bit of a weird aftertaste but I think all apricots are like that! The textures of dried fruit, nuts, and chocolate were wonderful together.

Russkoe Chocolate w/Sunflower Seeds & Cranberry: Haven't tried this one yet but it sounds pretty good. 

Rot Front Chocolate Vanilla Candy: Don't let the 'rot' name fool you. I thought these tasted good - and very unique. It might be the crushed waffles that make the flavor kind of odd but I liked them. The consistency is sort of like the middle of a butterfinger but not so crunchy. Melts nicely in the mouth!

Red October Toffee Krepysh: Not sure if I'll try this one because it feels rather stiff which usually translates to super sticky which translates to missing dental work. And yes, this company name comes from Lenin's 1917 government takeover. Thought they don't make military rations anymore, it's still government owned and makes the most popular candy in Russia. Of course, I'm guessing if you don't agree with that assessment...

That covers everything. We got a lot of stuff this month and I'm excited to try the few things we haven't opened yet. Until next time....

TRIVIA: 3. JAPAN. Neither Russia nor Japan have signed a peace treaty with each other after WWII. They're still fighting over a piece of land called the Kuril Islands in the southern part of Russia/northern part of Japan. 

3B October 2016 Review

Even though I got this a few weeks ago, I haven't had time to try any of the products. So this post will basically just tell you what I got. For those who don't know, 3B is a monthly subscription service. For $15 (they recently raised their price on the month to month option - goes down to $12 if you sign up for the whole year at once) you get 4-5 sample, sometimes full-sized, Asian beauty, hair, and skin care products. They now have a store front, too. Check them out here: 3B

I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

Todak Todak Pack - Pore Care: I got a different kind in another 3B bag but like I said in my Morgue Drawer post, I didn't really get full use of it. I hope to with this one, especially since my pores are the size of Nebraska. Full size and costs $4. (CF)

Neogence Hyaluronic Acid Hydrating Lotion: I'm all about face lotions, man. I love trying new ones, especially the hydrating ones. Just because I have oily skin does NOT mean it's hydrated. And now with winter coming, this will be (I hope) very useful. 180mls is $20 so this 30mls sample should run around $6.50. (?)

Lador Damage Protector Acid Shampoo: Right now I don't have dry and damaged hair. But since I plan to get it mostly all cut off, I'll probably be styling it more often. This shampoo contains argan oil that helps to protect hair against heat damage. Hmmm...This is full size and runs $10. (?)

When 10:00pm Sheet Mask: You all know how much I love me some sheets masks. Seems like this might have that gel or jelly texture that I've used before and is awesome. The people at 3B tested this and claimed their skin felt great the next morning. Challenge Accepted! This is full size and costs $7. (?)

Etude House Moistfull Collagen Deep Cream: Again, I'm all about the moisturizer. This thick lotion seems like it will be perfect as a night cream as we head into winter - not heavy or greasy. I seem to have a lot of luck with EH products so fingers crossed. Full sized 75ml costs $20 so this 10ml sample runs around $2.50 or so. (CF but ships to China)

Over all looks like this bag is worth about $30. Not too bad considering I will probably get good use from everything!

Ipsy October 2016 Review

Well...shit. September got away from me for a bit. Busy season helping the hubby at work and then my Aunt died. So I haven't really been up to reviewing much lately. But I'm gonna get back in the swing of things here. Expect a GIANT Morgue Drawer soon but for now...Ipsy!

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service where for $10, you get 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized beauty, skin, and hair products to try out. Check out the service here: IPSY. (I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

This month's theme is Black Magic because October. Fucking lame. Just so much wrong with that damn card but I don't want to go off on a rant about witchcraft or the general negative perception of it. Let's just ream Ipsy for the lack of usefulness and being the only subscription service with no product info/pricing.

But the bag is adorable this month. Though I prefer my 'scary' elements actually scary, when they're cute like this I can forgive them. I mean...just look at it. That zipper pull is adorable!

Anyway, let's get to the products, shall we?

Makeup Forever HD Invisible Cover Foundation: (I'm guessing I got the lightest shade - Ivory). I've heard so much about this product but it's pretty expensive and MFU is not cruelty free. However, I've swatched the foundation and it looks like a pretty dang good match. The formula is a nice light texture and I think it would look very natural on the skin (I'll have to let you know). Claims you don't even have to set it with a powder. That's kind of nice. One less step and all. They also carry a SHIT ton of shades. One ounce is $43 so this almost .2 ounce sample probably runs around $8. (NCF)

NYX Vivid Brights Liquid Eyeliner (Vivid Gunmetal): I don't see this color listed on the NYX website but I'm pretty sure it's the same price and size as they're regular vivid brights. Good pigmentation, glides on very smooth. Haven't tested the lasting power but I'm excited to! These go for $7. (CF)

Tre'Stique Matte Lip Crayon (Belize Bordeaux): I've received another color of this exact product before. While it initially feels very comfortable and doesn't dry down to painful levels, this color particularly goes on a bit patchy and it wears off unevenly. If you try to build it up, it doesn't really work very well and just slides around. The demo on their site shows the crayon being topped with a balm or gloss so I'll try that and see how it goes. There is no option on the site for JUST the crayon (it's paired with a balm/gloss for $28) so I'll just cut that in half and say this sample is $14. (CF- website states they're cruelty free but nothing about their suppliers or third party manufacturers).

Left to Right: Tre'Stique lip crayon; NYX Vivid Brights eyeliner; Makeup Forever foundation

Pur-lisse Daily Lip Nourisher: I've gotten an eye cream from this brand before and it stung like a mother fucker so I immediately threw it on the ground, stomped on it, set it on fire, then threw it away. This lip balm gives a little tingle but I don't think it's supposed to. The only thing I can think of is that the orange peel oil might be doing that but it's the last ingredient so I don't know for sure. The texture of this stuff is pretty cool - like the Malin and Goetz balm. Gel- like and clear, goes on smooth and sticks around for a while (though not as well as the M&G). Full size at .38 ounces is $16 so this .15 ounce is around $6.50 (CF and vegan, according to their website - no other CF sites list anything about this company)

Lottie London Perfectly Precise eye shadow brush: Never heard of this brand before; there's no website linked at Ipsy; can't find any info other than a web page talking about a contest and random articles. The brush is super soft but it never looks like the bristles pick up enough product until you grind it into your shadows. Have to play with it a bit more to be sure if it'll work well in the long run. Full sized and costs $15. (?)

Looks like the overall value of this bag is about $50. Not too shabby!

Ipsy August 2016 Review

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10 each month, you will receive a reusable bag with 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized beauty, skin, and hair products. Check them out for yourselves here: IPSY

(I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

This month's theme is something like Sugar Highness or some bullshit like that. I wish they'd use the card insert for more helpful information, like the products, their uses, and their costs, instead of some random theme that means absolutely nothing to anyone.

I do love this month's bag. The pastel colors are beautiful and the material of it feels nice and sturdy. KEEPER! The products are pretty cool, too.

Organic Surge Perfecting Face Polish: This is one of those exfoliators that has little grains of ground olive stone (I assume they mean the pit) to scrub away dead skin and impurities but not so much as to feel like you're using sandpaper on your face. There are also lots of good oils mixed in to help moisturize. I only put this on the back of my hand but I like the feel of it and I can really smell the lemon. Full size at 2.5 oz is $9.15 so this 1 ounce sample should go around $3.5 (CF)

IT Cosmetics No-Tug Waterproof Gel Liner: (swatch shown in picture below) IT is one of those high end brands that I'm pretty much too cheap to buy on my own (though I admit to spending $19 on a liquid eyeliner by Kat VonD and it was worth every penny). So I love that I got a sample size of their eyeliner. I've worn it a couple of times and I have to say this liner is the only one that has stayed in my waterline (or at least the edge of it) longer than any other I've tried. It stays put on the eye skin, too (lid and lower lash line). It still melts in the outer corners because my eyes just LOVE to fuck up any makeup I put on them. Full size is .017 oz for $22. This .012 sample size is about $15.50! (CF)

Sally's Box Secret Garden Masks: Aside from the sexual innuendo going on that name, I love getting face masks. Haven't tried either yet but my skin has been dry lately so these moisturizing masks will be great, I'm sure! The extra ampoule in the corner of each one provides even more moisture! Yaassss..... They're on sale right now but these full sized products normally go for $6 each. (?)

Lord and Berry Matte Lip Crayon: I got a liner from this brand before and didn't particularly care for the warm brown shade. I don't gravitate to warms colors but this is a pretty warm pink. It does look matte but it doesn't feel super dry. Lasts well, too. Full size is $20 so I'm guessing this sample is maybe half the size (can't find any product details on the L&B website) so let's say this is $10. (NCF)

Jelly Pong Pong Neapolitan Palette: And we have another trio of gold/bronze/peach tones. Hooray... Yes, I'm being a smart ass. However, these eye shadows are buttery, pigmented, and gorgeous and can be used wet or dry. I think I like the tones on these three better than the other 4-5 I've received. The only problem, for me, is there's no matte shade. I love the shininess of them but it's nice to mix in other finishes to complete a look. Otherwise, I'm in love. Full size, on the website, is .11 ounces and this 'sample' is .1 ounce. So I'm calling it full size and worth $18. (CF)

Looks to me this whole bag is worth about $59. SCORE! Aside from the Lord and Berry lip crayon (it's...okay), I love everything else, even the bag! Can't wait to see what they do next month.

Petit Vour June 2016

This is the final box in my 3-month trial period. I have to say I am SOOPER tempted to sign up for 6 months or a full year. I'm still processing so we'll just have to see. 

For those who may not know, Petit Vour is a monthly subscription service. For $15 a month, you get 4 sample/full sized beauty products that are all cruelty free (toxic free, vegan, etc.). Check them out here: PETIT VOUR

I purchased these boxes with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

This time it's Mermaids! Yay! Actually, the theme is Summer Escape but same difference. I've only tried the lip products so far but I'm excited about (almost) everything.

Juice Beauty Green Apple Moisturizer: I got something else from JB last month and it's been very nice to my face. So I imagine this moisturizer will be just as good. I like my face lotion to have SPF so I'm eager to try it. Full size is $38 so this trial version is worth $18.

EVOLVh Leave In Conditioner: Not excited for this. I've tried a couple leave in conditioners before and since my hair is very fine, things like this tend to weigh it down and I look like a grease ball. If anyone thinks they might like this, hit me up and I'll hand it over! This is a travel size and costs $11. (full is $26)

Suntegrity Lip CPR: Oh dear gods these lip stick samples are divine! You'd never know there was SPF 30 in them. SPF in lip products are extremely drying for me and these are moisturizing and very comfortable. They have a little shimmer/shine to them, too. I swatched them on my lips and my hand because lip sticks/glosses look very different on your hand than on your lips. Just wanted to give you an idea so don't judge a lipstick by its swatch! The little pots are $5 (full size is $28).

Precious Skin Elixirs Exfoliating Clay: This is a dry powder and you mix it with water right before you need it. You can either just use it as an exfoliator or apply a thick layer like a mask, let it dry, then rinse off. Full size is $70 (holy balls) so this sample is $4.50.

I'm pretty happy with this month's box. $38.50 is a good deal. Obviously if I sign back up, I'll review the boxes here!

Petit Vour May 2016

I'm now in the second month of a three-month trial on this box. It's a monthly beauty subscription that carries only cruelty free/vegan products. For $15 each month you get 4 sample or full sized items. Check them out here: PETIT VOUR

(Note: I have purchased this trial with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

I love the little card that comes with this box. Not just because it's got all the relevant info on the back (glares over at Ipsy) but the front has a pretty design and a big "Thanks" from PV to its subscribers. Apparently they're celebrating three years of being in business!

Ecco Bella gloss: Gorgeous color. Because it's a gloss it's a nice sheer wash of berry. It's not sticky or heavy. It's actually perfect. I highly recommend a lip liner, though! If it were more opaque I guess people would consider this a great fall color. Personally, wear whatever fucking color you want in any fucking season. This gloss seems like it would be great any time of year, no matter the color. It's full size and runs $20.

Bedrock and Bloom Smart Ash: Just a WEEEEE bit disappointed that in my second box I got another sample of this stuff (check out my April PF post to see what this stuff is all about - with an awesome visual). It's a cool product and really different. But I just used up my original sample and don't really want to start another one. If anyone wants it, let me know. Sample costs $3 (full size if $30).

Captain Blankenship sea salt hair spray: I don't normally use this kind of spray even when I had long hair. But the card says you can spray in on damp hair, braid, then sleep on it for nice waves in the morning. I don't need to spray anything to get that effect but what the hell. I'll give it a shot. It does smell REALLY good. Full size is $24 so this sample is $7 (NOTE: Any time I see the name Blankenship, all I can think of is MXC - anyone else? Anyone??)

Juice Beauty peel, blemish clearing: I believe the peel in this product is chemical (as opposed to peeling off a giant sheet of dried product in the shape of your face). JB is in A LOT of subscription services but I don't think I've ever gotten anything before. It smells kinda weird (like the plastic container) but I'll still try it out. $5 sample size (full is $39).

Over all the value of this box is $35 (that's what he said - ugh, I hate myself for making that joke). Aside from the repeat offender, I'm still liking the service!

Universal Yums May 2016 Box

In case you don't know, Universal Yums is a food subscription box. For $13 or $25 a month, you'll get a bunch of snacks and candy from a different county. How cool is that? Check them out here: UNIVERSAL YUMS.

Trivia: Contrary to popular belief, which of the following ISN'T typically eaten in Greece?   A.Feta Cheese; B.Greek yogurt; C.Hummus; D. Pita  (answer at the bottom of the post)

Mikio Sun-Dried Tomato & Olive Bread sticks: At first these crunchy bread sticks tasted just like sun dried tomatoes. Not my favorite but not terrible. But the olive finish (or perhaps too much oregano) was pretty bad. Neither the hubs nor I cared for these. Even Dozer was a little suspicious of them.

Serenata Chocolate Croissant: WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!?!?! This was a good sized croissant, soft and buttery, filled with what I can only describe as chocolate pudding heaven. I ate half when we got the box and the rest the next day with some coffee. In fact, the wrapper in the picture is already empty. OH PLEASE tell me the UY folks are working on their storefront right now!!

Rose Mex Pastilles: I've recently discovered how much I like the flavor of rose candy. Unfortunately, these rose gum drops taste like anise and cloves. Clove is a favorite of mine but not in these. Ick.

Ion Assorted Chocolates: We got 2 hazelnut (which were technically from the Ion Noisetta line), amaretto, and nougat. The hazelnuts were great, amaretto even better, but the nougat was too sugary and didn't taste like much of anything. The chocolate tasted a little like Hershey's but better. Smoother, richer flavor.

Ouzo candies: Let's get liquored up! Actually I don't think there's any booze in these hard candies but they did taste really great. Not too over the top anise flavor. Nice and sweet.

Serenata Chocolate Wafers: Think a Kit Kat on crack. Crispy wafer covered in smooth chocolate. This is from the same company that made that chocolate croissant so you know it's good.

BONUS ITEM: Saffron Herbal Tea. What a pleasant surprise! I do like tea so I was excited for this. Not sure I taste the saffron, or the lemon grass, but there's a nice soft flavor of mint that was very nice. 

This was a very good box - that croissant alone was worth it! The clue to next month pretty much tells us it'll be the good ol' US of A!! USA! USA!

TRIVIA ANSWER: C. Hummus

Ipsy May 2016 Review

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly beauty subscription service. For $10, you will receive 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized items to try. It's a great way to try new things without committing to the full price tag. Check them out here: IPSY

As usual, I pay for this service myself and all opinions are my honest ones. CF or NCF denote Cruelty Free or Not Cruelty Free. A ? means I got no fucking idea.

I don't remember what the theme is because the card that comes with this bag went right in the trash. Honestly, there's no useful info on it so it's only a waste of paper. I really wish Ipsy would join the rest of the subscription community and put the items/info/prices on the fucking card.

I really like the bag this month. It looks like an envelope, with a fold over snap front. Like a clutch purse. Cute print, too, with silhouettes of worldly landmarks - oh, yeah, the theme was travel or something like that. Whatever.

Soo-Ae Face Masks (?): I loooove face masks. I'm glad they included 3 in here because you only get one use per mask. I've already tried the Firming/Elasticity one. I don't know if it firmed anything but DAYUM my skin looked nice afterwards! The mask itself is super soft and the eye/nose/mouth holes are perfect. A little big so as to accommodate any face/feature shape. I think this has become my new favorite mask brand. You can get these at Target (which is awesome) for $15 for a 5-pack so $3 a piece is pretty good!

Pacifica Eyeshadow Trio (CF): I remember getting a Pacifica eye shadow a long time ago in an Ipsy bag but I broke it when I depotted it. It was waaay too soft. I imagine these would be the same. Gorgeous colors and they lasted on my eyes all day, without primer! But, as you'll see in the pic below, these are extremely similar to the City Color trio I got a few months ago - though that one is a lot warmer than the Pacifica shadows.. Why can't they switch things up and put in less neutral stuff? Oh well. I liked both trios and will use them! This particular color trio was designed specifically for Ipsy but their regular trio shadows (.1 ounce) go for $12. This .07 ounce is probably $9-$10.

Smashbox X-Rated Mascara (NCF): The last Smashbox sample I got was AWESOME. So I look forward to trying this one out. It claims to be the most buildable mascara - meaning you can layer it up and it won't look like shit. Full sized goes for $22 so this .10 fluid ounce sample is about $5.

INSPR Eye Fluff Brush (?): I don't think I've ever heard of this brand before. I've already tried it out and it's awesome. Very soft but dense enough to work as a blending brush or to apply eye shadow (particularly in the crease - of the EYE, you pervs). This is full sized and costs $12.

Clark's Botanicals Smoothing Marine Cream (CF): Good sized sample of a night cream. It smells kind of odd (not like Jasmine like everyone else claims) but it's nice and thick. The more you smooth it on your skin the more it feels like silk. Very interesting. It stings a bit, though, which I don't care for. Full size (50 ml) costs $115. Wow. Just...wow. This 15 ml sample should go for around $38.

The whole bag has a value around $67. I dig it!