The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Filtering by Tag: Burts Bees

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs April 2020

I’m considering changing the name of these posts. The title is just a little long and not all that snappy, you dig? Something more like Yay or Nay, maybe Dead or Alive? I don’t know. I’m gonna ponder it for a while. Maybe by the next post, I’ll have my shit together. In the meantime…

For those of you who are new here, this is basically my likes and dislikes of products I’ve used over the past 3 months. Some are things I’ve fallen in love with and can’t sing their praises enough; others are products that make me want to burn this whole damn world down. Let’s take a look!

PDs (Panty Droppers)

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Colourpop Super Shock Shadow in Cuddle Buddy: I love me some CP super shocks. The only bad thing is that many of them dry out loooong before you can use them up. Case in point here. I loved the shade - a shiny, cool-toned pink that was a perfect color for me to put all over my eyelid and call it a day. But it’s crumbly and hard to work with now. Would definitely get it again, except they don’t sell this shade anymore. Dammit.

Tarte Clay Pot Waterproof Liner in Prom Queen: Absolutely loved this shade. I have nothing like it in my stash. It’s a mid-tone cool purple, and shows up surprisingly well over a lot of eye shadow shades. But, like CP, it started to dry out and is difficult to use now. They don’t sell this shade anymore, but they have three colors still available and on sale for $10! That’s cheap for Tarte.

NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Milk: This is my go-to base to put on my eye lids anytime I want an eye shadow to really stand out or to help with the pigmentation (I’ve tried other pencils and even white gel eyeliner, but they don’t work as well as this). Some shadows look rather sheer on their own, but put them over a white or black base and voila! Perfection achieved. This pencil is sooper old, though, and is unusable. And really gross. I already got a new one!


MEHs (Mehs)

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ELF Eye Shadow Primer in Sheer: Though it says the color is ‘sheer’, there is some pigmentation here. It does cover discoloration, veins, etc., a little bit. I, personally, don’t like any color (like the Milani primer) but this is fine. However, its staying power is rather lacking. It holds eye shadows for just a few hours at most. I have really oily eye lids so maybe that has something to do with it. For the price ($3) it’s not horrible. It was actually the first eye primer I ever used, when I’d learned there was such a thing, but it was only $1 then!

TheYEON Jeju Canola Honey Clean Balm: One of those cleansing balms from Korea. Works great at removing makeup; smells nice. But I’ve developed a reaction to cleansing balms when I use them on my eyes (or if it gets in my eyes while using it on the rest of my face). They get all red, itchy, and crusty the morning after I use the balm. So I just can’t bring myself to finish this tub.

Pacifica Liquid Cover Full Coverage Lasting Concealer in 20NF: Don’t let that name fool you. It is NOT full coverage by any means (which is fine since I don’t like full coverage). But I bought it because it did claim it wasn’t drying and felt lightweight. It does feel light. So much so that it doesn’t cover anything. Well, maybe it adds a little coverage to the purple under my eyes, and was okay as a spot concealer. But it mostly it just blends away, leaving the skin looking kinda dry. It might work better for people with oilier skin or don’t have as many years on them as I do.


GFYs (Go Fuck Yourselves)

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Colourpop Glitterally Obsessed Body Glitter in Wish Me Luck: What is the fucking purpose of this stuff? You use it once and that’s it. Even with a sealed container, this shit is completely useless after one application. And surprise, it’s not available on the site anymore. Just pressed glitters and glitter gels, which you have to dig to find because they’re not on any pop up menus. Figures.

Burt’s Bees Overnight Intensive Lip Treatment: If by treatment you mean it completely dries out the lips so you put on more balm, which dries out your lips MORE, so you put on MORE balm, which dries out the lips even MORE….do you see where I’m going with this?

Essence The Eyebrow Pen in Dark Brown: I’m practically crying over here as I type this. This is the 2nd pen I bought, just in case the first one was a dud (it happens in every makeup brand). NOOOOOOOPE. This pen was even worse than the last one. At least I got one eyebrow done with the last pen. I didn’t even get that with this one. Semi-permanent color, my ASS, Essence. FUCK YOU.

Real Techniques Eye Miracle and Finish Miracle Remedy Sponges: What the fucking fuck is the point of these? They don’t absorb water; they’re hard as rocks; they don’t blend out makeup. WHY DO THESE EVEN EXIST?? Gods dammit, RT. What the hell are you doing over there? Laughing all the way to the bank, I presume.

Okay. That’s it for this quarter. Hope everyone is being smart, staying safe and healthy, and hanging on to their sanity in any way they can. Until next time!

Morgue Drawer June 2018

Here we are again, folks. As the temperatures remain in the nineties, it feels safer to me to stay inside and write up a few blog posts/reviews. So let's start with my trash, eh?

 

AND SO....I DIE...

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These make me sad. There's still product in each container but either the formulas have changed, they smell off, or they tingle against my lips and they're not supposed to do that. So I need to trash them.

Medusa's Makeup Lip Paint Remover: This stuff works great on MM's lip paints but after a while, the smell got horrible and the cap is all sticky and crusty with dried oil. It's basically almond oil, grapeseed oil, and fragrance so I imagine just almond oil will work fine. But they're having a sale right now and it's half off! I might keep the bottle and reuse it for something else. (CF)

Elf Luscious Liquid Lipstick in Nude Pink: I love this color and the formula. It started out smelling like mint but now it smells like menthol so into the garbage it goes. Would totally buy again, though, if they still had this shade. Which they don't. (CF)

Colourpop Lippies: These are probably the oldest CP lippies I own so it makes sense that they smell funny now, or the formulas have changed and actually burn when I put them on. As I have a ton of other lipsticks and glosses, I don't NEED to repurchase. Doesn't mean I won't, though...(L to R) Ultra Glossy Lip in Tight Fit; Ultra Satin in So Wavy, Lost, Petit Four, and Marshmallow (Tight Fit, Lost, and Marshmallow are still available on the CP site). 

 

SCRUB-A-DUB AND SMELL GOOD

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Paul Mitchell Instant Moisture Conditioner: I've been enjoying a lot of Paul Mitchell products lately and the hubby loves this conditioner (and matching shampoo), too! It works pretty well to keep hair clean and moisturized, which is good for me since I bleach my hair now. I ended up buying the bigger size so hubs and I can share. (CF)

Phyto Color Enhancing Hair Mask: I got this sample with an Ulta order, I think. Though it worked really well (at least at moisturizing), it's not a Cruelty Free brand so I won't be purchasing it in the future. It's also $59 for 6 ounces. Uh...no. (NCF)

Purlisse Coconut Oil and Coffee Sugar Scrub: This was a decent scrub, smelled great, but I only got one use out of this sample size. You need to use a lot to cover the whole body (I did, anyway, and I'm not very big). (CF/Vegan)

Mitchum Stick Deodorant: This worked okay. I like the clear gel formula much better. Pretty sure any deodorant that isn't one of the 'natural' brands, isn't cruelty free. (NCF)

Nature's Truth Sweet Almond Oil: I like to use this on my feet and toenails after I shower. It's a nice, light oil, that absorbs quickly into the skin. Good for all over the body, actually. Almond oil is used as a base for other moisturizers because it has no scent. Will buy again (it's not all gone but I poured the remainder into an empty pump bottle for easier dispersement). (CF - ?)

Purple Cat Apothecary Body Butters: Two more from the 5-pack sample set I ordered. The Lemon Chiffon was divine! Lemon and butter cake. The Frostbloom was okay. Kinda floral, kinda minty...hard to pin down. This formula was much thicker and drier than the Lemon one but both worked very well, especially over the almond oil I talked about above. (CF) NOTE: This was originally an Etsy store with art and body products. Apparently, Etsy is making is difficult and more expensive for people to use it as a store front so this woman only has an on-line art store at a separate website. Dammit.

 

SQUEAKY CLEAN

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TN Dickinson's Witch hazel: I like to use this after I do a mud mask. It's great for cleaning off any excess or left behind product without drying out my skin. I know a lot of people hate the smell of witch hazel but it doesn't bother me at all. Very gentle and could be used every day. I think I got mine at the grocery store but it's sold everyone it seems. (CF/Vegan)

Everyone Lavender and Coconut Hand Soap: We've tried a few scents from this brand and I really have enjoyed them all. This and the Lemon/Mandarin one have been been my favorites. Great for the kitchen! (CF)

BBW Good Vibes Only foaming hand soap: I bought this scent to get a deal at Bath and Body Works so I wasn't expecting it to be great but I love it. Even the hubby, who's not one for a lot of scented cleansers, really liked it. But...because it's BBW, and they sell to China, I really have only been keeping my purchases to candles (I love their candles and haven't found anything else to replace them yet). (NCF)

 

 

CHOMPERS AND THE LIKE

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ACT Restoring Mouthwash: I used this stuff every day with Invisalign and now it's just a habit I can't quit. Which is good! My teeth need a lot of help so this fluoride rinse is perfect. Doesn't burn like a mo-fo, either. (NCF)

Tom's of Maine Maximum Strength Sensitive toothpaste: Love this stuff. Will keep buying. (CF)

Simply Creative Living Honey Cherry Almond lip balm: I believe I talked about another lip balm from this company. I got it at my city's Farmer's Market or the 4th of July fair. Can't remember. This was just okay. Probably won't repurchase. (CF)

 

ALL ABOUT THAT FACE

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NO:HJ Sheet Mask: Got this from my monthly subscription, Facestory. It was really nice and it had all these gold colored flowers all over it. I felt so fancy! It's a Korean brand so the cruelty free status is hard to know/confirm.

The Ordinary Buffet serum: I've raved about this product before here but lately, this stuff hasn't been working all that well. It's actually been breaking me out. I know skin can acclimate to a product, making it less effective, even develop reactions to some. Seems that's what's happened here. So while my backup bottles sit unused, I'm trying something else. I'll let you know how it goes. (CF)

Ole Henrickson Banana Bright Eye Cream: Got this in one of my last Ipsy bags, I think. The cream is yellow but not sure it's brightening. It's thick but doesn't absorb that well. In fact, it didn't really do shit. (CF)

SkinRX Labs MadeCera Cream: Another sample product but can't remember where I go it. I really enjoyed it, though. Felt great on the skin and did a good job of moisturizing. Again, SkinRX is Korean so can't confirm or deny cruelty free status.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Cream: I've been using the day and night creams for a while. Still loving them. (CF)

 

ALL SORTS OF STUFF

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The Ordinary Fluid Primer (forgot to put this with the makeup): This stuff is pure shit. When I bought it, the bottle was barely half full (but it wasn't wet or sticky so nothing leaked - it just wasn't filled). Can't get it out of the bottle THROUGH the dropper so I'd just wipe off enough OFF the dropper to put on my face. And then I felt like a total grease ball. I can't even use it up because it feels so gross and my skin hates it. (CF)

Burt's Bees Cleansing Oil: I really like cleansing oils so I thought I'd give BB's version a shot. It's...okay. Smells a little weird and doesn't do a great job but it's fine. I actually didn't finish this yet but I put the remaining product in a travel bottle. (CF)

Nip + Fab Glycolic Cleansing Pads: I got a sample pack of these years ago when I was still getting the Walmart box. And I really liked them so I got this full size at the drug store. Turned out they didn't really do that much for my skin. But I like the travel friendly pre-soaked pads (as opposed to a bottle) even though these felt kind of dry. Maybe that's why they didn't seem to do much. I'd be willing to try them again, though, in case I got a bad batch. (CF)

Manyo Factory Herb Green Cleansing Oil: I'm pretty sure this sample was what started my love of cleansing oils. This stuff was great. Smelled good and did a great job of removing makeup, especially after the heavy stuff I use for convention appearances! It's another Korean brand so I don't know if they're cruelty free.

First Aid Beauty Hydrating Serum (not sure why I didn't put this with the previous stuff): I've used a couple products from this brand before and while I did like them, I don't feel the brand is so superb to be worth the higher price tag. I did really enjoy this, though. (CF)

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs June 2017

All righty. This is TAKE TWO of writing up this post. I accidentally discarded the last one I worked on, just as I was getting to the end....

Anyhoo...let's get to the products.

PANTY DROPPERS (PDs)

Beauty 360 Face Scrubby Thing: I really don't know what this is called but I saw a duo pack of these at CVS (360 is CVS's house brand). I have a tendency to go ham fisted with physical exfoliators (like those creams with grit in them or just a washcloth) but this thing makes it much easier for me to calm my shit down. The little silicone nubs are gentle enough to not rip my face off but you can feel that they really get in there and slough off the dead skin. I keep one in my shower and I travel with the other. The extra great thing is they don't retain water, like a sponge would, so there's no risk of slathering mold all over your face! (I can't find a link at CVS for these, though)

The Ordinary "Buffet": People on YouTube were going NUTS over this brand for a hot minute. Things seemed to have calmed down but I don't know why. This brand makes some really good skin care. The packaging is simple and they don't load in shit you don't need (fillers, dyes, scents, etc.). That's why their prices are so freakin low. The Buffet is a peptide serum and I honestly think it's done wonders for my skin. It's the most expensive thing I've purchased from them ($15) and compared to regular stores, it's almost like shopping at the dollar store! I have since repurchased and will continue to do so.

NYX Ultimate Palette (Cool Neutrals): Everyone and their mother goes ape shit for warm colors. I'm so tired of the warm browns, coppers, oranges, blahblahblah. Don't get me wrong - I do wear them. I'm just TIRED of them. So this is a god send. Colors are beautiful, pretty pigmented, and blend like a dream (the purple one is a bit patchy and the light ones you can't really see because they are very close to my skin tone). 

Merchant of Galifrey Lip Balm (Cassian): I've found that some lip balms don't actually moisturize or protect the lips. I know, right? But this shop from Etsy has made some great ones! Tons of scents so you're sure to find something you'll like. I got the one inspired by Star Wars: Rogue One's character of Cassian - pear, clove, and dulce de leche. So not only does it smell good, last long, and work great, I think of Diego Luna every time I put it on my lips. Mmmmm....Diego....

TheBalm Mad Lash Mascara: I love the formula of this mascara. It does a great job of thickening and lengthening my lashes. Sometimes TheBalm stuff can be hit or miss but this stuff is awesome.

Milani Eye Shadow Primer: I've tried a bunch of different brands but this is the one I always goes back to. Just repurchased.

Colourpop Creme Gel Eyeliner: This stuff is no joke. Once it's on the eyes, even the waterline, it doesn't budge one inch. The problem, though, is the darker ones dry out really fast. I had the dark green color (which is no longer available - probably because it basically looked black) but the product got too try to work with before I could use it up. The browns are a little easier to work with, stay creamier longer, but still have the same staying power.

Colourpop Super Shock Shadow (Dare): I can't tell you how many times I've received compliments on this shadow when I wear it. A gorgeous neon purple with hot pink and violet glitter. But as you can see from the swatch, it dried out before I could even hit pan. It's basically just dry scratchy glitter now and OMG COLOURPOP IS HAVING A SALE ON THEIR SHADOWS. Excuse me a moment...

 

MEHs

NYX Le Frou Frou Mascara: For something that claims to give volume and length, it really does neither. My lashes looked nice, soft and natural, but no better than that. So while it's nice to use for those kind of days, I don't turn to it to get more special.

Bronx Colors Matte Lip Tint: The color was pretty, though a little brighter than the swatch on-line, but the formula was dry and kinda streaky. Not a great first impression, Bronx.

The Body Shop Vitamin E Serum: At first this stuff seemed great. It smells fantastic and it gave me a little extra moisture I needed at the time. But after about a month the smell went...off. I'm almost positive, too, that this broke me out a bit. Not gonna ever use again just to be safe. 

Essence Get Big Lashes Mascara: Again, another one that claims to make your lashes really thick and long but really only gives you a soft natural look. Which is fine but not what I was looking for when I bought this.

Tarte Skinny Smolder Eyes (Amethyst): The color is kinda dull and the product itself wears off really fast. Though it feels creamy going on and smudges out well, it's just so...lackluster. Probably why it's on sale at the website.

TheBalm Mad Lash Mascara: This also get a MEH rating - for the packaging. Instead of a normal twist open tube, they have this one as just pull straight out (oy) and snap back in. It's a tight fit (really?) so after yanking on it for a second or two (for crying out loud), the wand flings product everywhere (geez) then gets all over the packaging (mic drop). Ugh.

GO FUCK YOURSELVES (GFYs)

Burts Bees Facial Cleansing Towlettes: Oh gods these suck so bad! The cloths come out mostly dry and they sting like a fucking beast. They also smell very herbally which is great for marinara sauce but not for my fucking face.

City Color Color Corrector Pens: I really wanted to try the orange toned one for the purple under my eyes, as well as try out the green just for shits and giggles. They came as a trio on Haute Look so I got them all. FUCKING AWFUL. They're twist up pens so after about 4 days of twisting, a little teeny tiny bit of product came out. Mostly dry and crumbly, they dried darker once on the skin (except the green - that one was ok). I maybe got 3 uses from them. SO FUCKING TERRIBLE.

Addictive Cosmetics All Natural Lipstick (Maleficent): I've purchased stuff from this Etsy store before that I've loved. But this lipstick is just awful. Patchy as fuck, thin formula, it will not go opaque no matter what I do, not even over a lip liner. I don't know if it's because it's a sample and not a full bullet or what. Ugh.

Urban Decay Perversion Mascara: You can see I have two sample tubes of this crap and I haven't used up either. The formula is so thick and goopy, it's impossible to work with. Maybe if I had thicker lashes it would be okay. But I don't. So it isn't. Blech.

Shea Moisture Dragons Blood & Coffee Cherry Mask: HOLY FUCKING BALLS THIS STUFF HURT SO BAD! I've used SM stuff in the past and I've liked it. But about 30 seconds after I got this mask on my face it started to burn. Like Human Torch burn. Like Darkman caught in his lab fire burn. Which makes me so sad because it smells fantastic. But it's not worth the price of possibly becoming disfigured (that's hyperbole for those of you without a sense of humor).

All righty. That'll do it for my list of awesome and awful. See you in a few months for another installment!

Morgue Drawer February 2017

Holy crap I've got a lot of garbage...I mean, empties to go through. I got a new box (heh...dirty) to store them in and it's a lot bigger than the last one. So let's just get started.

I'm Ready for my Closeup

These piles include all my face masks, serums, or anything related to skin care.

Purpletale 5-Step mask: Really nice. The mask came in two pieces so it fit better than most one piece sheet masks. The whole pack includes cleanser, moisturizer, serum, and mask. I thought I'd wake up greasy but I didn't. Very nice little kit. (?)

Tosowoong Refresh masks: I can't remember what the pink one is but the blue was Sea Cucumber. Smelled super fresh and felt great. Very moisturizing. (CF - I think)

Tosowoong Rice Paper pack: This was kind of a DIY mask. You fill a shallow tray with the serum/essence and put the dried sheet in it for 5 minutes. Comes out pliable like jello/jelly. Doesn't stay wet and drippy and there was really no remaining serum to pat into the skin. Probably won't buy again. (CF)

Wish Formula honey fermented mask: Very dry on my forehead and dripping off my chin. The mask itself was super soft. My skin felt like the serum was equally distributed despite the mask feeling dry in some parts. Maybe it absorbed into the skin? It was okay. (CF)

Leaders Anti-pollution Mask: Fit terribly! The serum on it was great but since the mask's fit was so bad it didn't get onto all areas of my face. Too bad. (NCF)

Body Shop Ethiopian honey mask: Not a sheet mask - just straight up jelly to spread on the skin. Felt fantastic. But it never dried down so it was difficult to remove without a washcloth. Couldn't tell if it improved the feel of my skin, though. (CF)

Nan Well Aloe Collagen mask: The mask itself was the softest nicest mask yet. Very moisturizing serum. I think this has been my favorite so far of all the masks I've used. (?)

Ultrue I'm Sorry For My Skin (various): I love the jelly serums on these masks. Not sure if they all perform differently or not but they feel great and my skin loves them. The mask does dry out right above my lip, though. That's kind of irritating. (CF)

It's Skin Todak Todak Pack: I thought this would be jelly but it was like a clay mask, very similar to my Freeman's Strawberry and Chocolate. Felt great! (?)

Bon Vivant Masks (various): The olive/collagen and rose ones are nice, though they dry out on various spots on my face. The lime one was awful. My skin got very irritated and my cheeks were red the next day. (?)

MasquerAide Weather Warrior mask: It was...okay. (? - their WashBeautyCo is CF but can't find any info on MasquerAide itself)

Mario Badescu facial spray: I love this stuff and I've talked about it before. Unfortunately, it seems Mario is now selling in China where they require animal testing on imported goods. *sad trombone* (NCF)

Etude House Pink Vital Water and Age Defense Essential Softener: Both are very thin moisturizers. I wouldn't use them on their own but they're a nice addition if you need just a little extra moisture. (CF but sell in China)

V10+ Serums (various): I couldn't tell if these did anything and I got about a week's worth of use from each packet. They all felt like water or thinned down aloe gel. Didn't irritate my skin so that's good, I guess. (?)

Soft, Smooth, and...Stink Free?

Secret Outlast deodorant: I don't know why I put this in with the moisturizers...eesh. I've used this brand for years but for some reason, it doesn't seem to work that well anymore. I've switched up to a new brand so I'll let you know how that works. (NCF)

Burt's Bees Intense Hydration Night Cream: Meh. Very very thin formula so it didn't feel like it did that much heavy duty moisturizing, which is what a night cream is supposed to do. Also BB will be selling in China so they can no longer be considered cruelty free. (NCF)

Dead Sea Premier body butter: I got accosted by one of those mall kiosk people and ended up with 3 tubs of this and 3 tubs of a body salt scrub. While the smell on this body butter IS AMAZING, and it does moisturize well, it's not worth the $$$ I got swindled into paying for it. (CF)

Alba Hawaiian lip balm: Good balm, didn't wear off too quickly or dry my lips. But the pineapple scent was just too overpowering. (CF)

Dessert Essence lip rescue: Meh. Little drying. (CF)

Purlisse lip nourisher: This was okay. Similar texture to Malin & Goetz but not as thick or long lasting. (CF)

Malin & Goetz Mojito lip balm: I got this AGES ago in an Ipsy bag, I think. I kept it on my nightstand but didn't use it every night so that's why it too so long to use up. It felt like the never ending tube! Product is fantastic. Thick clear balm, stays on all night (yes, all night), and smells like lime! Would definitely repurchase. (CF)

Yu-be skin cream: This is really only good for the feet. The menthol scent is super strong and I couldn't handle it on my hands. BUT...if you have sore feet, rub this stuff on them. Awesome. (CF)

My Makeup...MY MAKEUP!

NYX Makeup Remover: This stuff was pretty awesome. Left a little film but that doesn't bother me. The super small size does, though. There are other things I want to try so now that I've used these up on moving on to bigger and better (I hope). (CF)

ELF Cleansing Cloths: I just use these to clean off swatches. Don't like them for my face or eyes but for $3 a pack, I don't feel like I'm wasting money. (CF)

Sweet Libertine Mineral Veil: I found this company on Etsy. I don't think they exist anymore (I got this years ago) but this stuff is gorgeous. Adds a soft glow to the face/body without glitter. (As in indy company, I'd guess they were/are CF)

Too Cool for School Lip Balm: Not sure if this is a balm per se but that's how I used it. It was a soft pink/peach color that was perfect for just adding a little color and shine. Unfortunately, it was pretty drying on the lips and I never made it through the whole pot before it dried out. (?)

Pur Cosmetics Volume Vixen mascara: Rather thick and gloppy formula and smelled terrible! Didn't so much volumize as get all over my eye lids to make it LOOK like the base of my lashes were thick. Lame. (CF)

The Leftovers

Tom's of Main Toothpaste: I normally use the sensitive kind but had some whitening stuff I needed to use up. I've loved every kind of tried from this brand and will continue to use the sensitive. It's the only one that doesn't destroy the inside of my mouth. (CF)

Hask Strengthening shampoo: I don't think this strengthened anything but it's a decent shampoo. You know, it cleaned my hair. (CF)

Soap & Glory Rich and Foamous body wash: Love this stuff. Smells like oatmeal cookies. By the time I got to almost the end of the bottle, the product had thinned out and I needed to use 10 pumps to get it to foam up. So probably won't get it again. Maybe. (CF)

Spring Valley Tea Tree oil: I love using this for spot treating zits or problem spots on my face. Doesn't really matter what brand it is. Unfortunately, I think this one expired (the date rubbed off) and it really fucked up my face for over a week. Gotta be more careful next time. (?)

Tarte Deep Dive gel cleanser: Holy balls this stuff is awesome. My skin felt amazing, almost like I used one of those gel peel products (you know, you rub it all over your face until the dead skin balls up and you rinse it off). This is pricey, though, so not sure if I'll bite the bullet and order a full size. (CF)

 

I'm exhausted. That'll do for now!

Morgue Drawer November 2016

Yeah...so much for that every couple of months idea. I should have known better. I'll try harder for 2017. In the meantime, here is my final Morgue Drawer for 2016.

All products have been purchased with my own money (or came in a subscription service I purchase myself) so all opinions are my honest ones.

TELL ME I'M PRETTY

ELF Makeup Wipes: I like these to clean up any swatches I do for picture/testing purposes. They sting my face and eyes too much. At $3, I don't feel bad when they're gone. I will continue to repurchase. (CF)

ELF Makeup Setting Spray: I do like this for my skin. Not everyone agrees it does anything but it seems to work for me. The nozzle can get a little wonky so that pisses me off. I've since purchased a different brand so we'll see how that goes. (CF)

ELF Mineral Infused mascara: Decent product that gets good length (oh boy). You can get a very soft natural look with this. (CF) 

RiRe Mascara: You can get good length with this and so-so volume. The brush is very odd, though. Looks like a old-fashioned toilet brush. (?)

Covergirl Supersizer masacara (Star Wars edition): I got this right after I decided to go cruelty free. So fucking sue me, I was weak. It had Darth Vadar on it, okay? (SW no longer available so the link is to the regular packaging) Fantastic mascara. Great job at lengthening and separating lashes. (NCF)

L'Oreal Invisible Lift CC concealer: Very thin formula so it's not great with coverage. Very brightening though. (NCF)

ALL CLEAN AND SHIT

Bath & Body Works Jasmine Vanilla shower gel: Yes, I still buy this. I knew I would (and I've stated I probably would) because I've never smelled anything like it anywhere else. Hopefully BBW will get their shit together and stop selling to China someday (CF except for the China thing)

Tom's of Maine sensitive toothpaste: I love this stuff. It's the only sensitive toothpaste that does NOT cause the flesh of my cheeks to peel off like every other kind does. I know that's gross but that's what happens to me. (CF)

Method Foaming Soaps: I have discovered a replacement for the BBW foaming hand soaps. Though the lavender scent is waaaaay too strong and the Sea Minerals scent is meh, the Lemon Mint and Sweet Water are awesome. (CF)

Clear Scalp and Hair Therapy shampoo/conditioner: I got these in a Walmart or Target box a long time ago. They're okay. Smell nice. Good for traveling but can't say they did much else. (NCF)

 

I WANT TO CLEAN AND MOISTURIZE YOU ALL OVER

Soap and Glory Vitamin C face wash: My skin loved this face wash. My nose...not so much. The smell is very strong, like Ivory soap strong. It does have some scrubby beads in it but not really enough to do more than get caught in your mouth. Not sure I'll ever purchase again. (CF)

Soap and Glory Body Buttercream in Sugar Crush: The smell of this is amazing! I wish it had a stronger lime scent but it's still pretty fucking good. Also it moisturizes the skin so well that it'll stay soft and smooth until the next time you shower (sometimes I skip a day and my skin retains moisture the whole time). I highly recommend it. (CF)

Burt's Bees Sensitive face cleanser: I used this in the morning and  the S&G one at night. Loved this cream cleanser. Not drying at all. Did a great job. (CF)

CeraVe AM face moisturizer: This is formulated for dry skin. I don't normally have that problem but I did for a few months this year and I don't know why. I also wanted to try it because it's CF. This stuff was great. Didn't need to use a ton of it at one time, either, so this small bottle lasted a long time. Plus it's got SPF30. (CF)

Mario Badescu facial spray: I've been purchasing this for a while now. I will continue repurchasing. I like to use this right before my moisturizer. Lovely smell of roses but not too overpowering. (CF)

Mario Badescu eye creams: I got two samples with an Ulta order: Glycolic eye cream and Ceramide eye gel. Two different formulas but they both had the same results - they never fully absorbed into my skin so I don't feel they did jack shit. If you're super dry under your eyes, you might enjoy this. I am not so I'll stick to the regular hylauronic eye cream I use now. (CF)

UNT Aqua Nettoyant hydrating cleanser: This was great. Not drying, cleaned my skin well. Tastes terrible though (I know you're not supposed to eat it but I can't keep everything out of my mouth all of the...dammit) (owned by Acacia which is CF)

Botanic Farm Grain ferment cleansing sherbet: Very cool product. It has a thicker than Vaseline texture, not super greasy or oily, but great at removing all makeup. Then you wash with your regular cleanser aftereward. Loved this. Probably the best product I've tried at removing ALL makeup. (?)

Juice Beauty Green Apple Peel blemish clearing: This thin jelly-like product was very strange. Not sure if it cleaned my skin but the warm tingly sensation tells me it might have peeled a layer of dead cells off my face. My skin felt really nice after each use. (CF)

It's Skin face pack: This was a little thicker than the Juice Beauty product. Cool texture, made my skin feel nice. But I didn't get 2-3 uses out of it because, even though I taped it closed, it still dried up a bit and became gummy. I just got something similar in my latest 3B bag so maybe I'll get a better idea this time. (CF)

Etude House cleansing oil (not pictured here - it's in my PDMEHGFY post): I loved this stuff. Great at breaking down makeup and smelled great. Still need to use your regular face wash after but it was worth the extra step (just like the cleansing sherbet). (NCF)

TOO BAD HARVEY DENT DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THESE

I'm Sorry For My Skin pore care and revitalizing sheet masks: These were cool. The essence on these masks is very jelly-like. The mask material is super soft and fit well. My skin felt great after each of these. (found 1 blog with CF claims)

Montagne Jeunesse black seaweed peel mask: I love this stuff. It's intimidating, I admit. And the smell can be off-putting. But I love this one more than most of the others I've tried of this brand. (CF)

Sally's Box Secret Garden ampoule masks: Loved these. You put the extra serum on first. Before it's fully absorbed, you put the serum saturated sheet mask on. Extremely moisturizing, soft cotton mask. My skin felt great after each of these. (?)

Wish Formula centella honey mask: Very soft and fit well. Extra saturated but my skin didn't feel moist when I took it off so I don't think it did much. (?)

Wish Formula Bat eye mask: Loved this. The cloth was soft and saturated and I felt like it moisturized under my eyes (unlike the previous mask). (?)

Tosowoong Sea Cucumber mask: The mask was soft and not overly saturated. Skin felt nice afterwards (NCF)

Bon Vivant masks, chamomile/greet tea and rose: These masks fit very well over my features. The chamomile and tea tree felt a little better than the rose. The rose stung a little but that was just the first one I used. The rose ones are also super fragile (that plastic mesh in the picture is what the mask was wrapped over but it didn't help a couple of them keep their shape - a few have fallen apart on me). (?)

Tony Moly lip patch: very amusing patch as it covered my whole chin! But it totally worked. My lips felt very soft, as did all the other skin this patch covered. (NCF)

Holy shit that's all. Hopefully I won't go 4 months next time!

Morgue Drawer

It hasn't even been two months yet but I think I need to do this post. I had a lot of samples to talk about plus some regular every day crap. If I wait too much longer I might have to break this up into three posts! Heavens to Betsy!

Face and Eyeballs

Mario Badescu Eye Cream: I got a sample of this in one of my subscription bags. And it is awesome. So moisturizing, no crazy smell. Nothing will get rid of my smile lines (and why would I want them to go away?) but this cream is so nice to use. I also have a little dry patch near the corner of my eye and this stuff really helped diminish it - and nothing has worked that well before. Nothing.

Josie Moran Face Oil (Argan): This stuff smells fantastic. And my face felt so soft afterwards. But the foil packet totally failed so I couldn't get more than one use from it. *sadness ensued*

Burt's Bees Renewal Serum: I've talked about this before. This is my second bottle. Though I thought it was gentle enough to use twice a day, I noticed that my skin dries out if I do that. So I stick to night time use (though right now I haven't repurchased because I've got a bottle of ROC Retinol treatment to finish).

Ahava Purifying Mud Mask: This stuff was okay. It smelled rather strong, like a combination spa/herbal scent. It was also gritty so it felt a little rough on my face. It's definitely not as purifying as a Freeman mud mask I use. It also started to sting after I worked halfway through the tube.

Olay Tone Perfecting Cream Moisturizer: My skin felt like BUTTAH after using this. Unfortunately the sample size only allowed for one use and you can't really tell if it's working until after 8 weeks. So...there you go.

Origins GinZing Eye Cream: Does NOT depuff like it claims. "Brightens" is just a word these eye creams use because it has a shiny pearlized finish. It actually made my dark circles look worse.

Klorane Eye Patches: Arrrggghh! No, not those kind of eye patches. These were thick and soft under eye patches. They didn't really do anything but instead of sticking from being over saturated with essence, they had a gel like surface that clung to the skin. Kinda cool even if useless.

Sephora Honey Eye Mask: I had two of these (one I ordered and one I got in a beauty subscription, I think). The first set stung my skin but I wanted to try the second packet just in case that was a fluke. It was nicer the 2nd time and I left them on about 10 minutes longer. Nothing outstanding but nice.

 

Naked Time (aka body lotions)

Elite Therapeutics Body Cream: Smells quite a bit like the plastic tube it comes in but my skin felt really good. The softness lasted all day!

H20+ Sea Salt Hydrating Body Butter: Very nice! It wasn't greasy, smelled good, and the moisturizing lasted a long time.

H20+ Sea Amber Body Lotion: This stuff smelled great...at first (like citrus). But it quickly morphed into plastic. Does a great job at moisturizing, though.

DermaDoctor Brazillian Bombshell Body Lotion: This was probably my favorite sample of a body lotion. Very thick and moisturizing and lasted a long time. No scent. Left my skin with this glowy sheen - like a highlight for your body (not glitter - this is not stripper lotion). Maybe that's the skin perfecting element? Whatever. It's awesome.

Figs & Rouge Hand Cream: This was a sample I got in my very first Ipsy bag (back in October of 2014). Obviously I don't use the stuff regularly. I really liked it though. Kind of thin but did a decent job. The scent is Roseberry and that's exactly what it smells like - like a raspberry and a rose bush (heh) had a baby.

 

Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific

Total Repair 5 Deep Conditioner: Did not like this crap. My hair was so greasy and weighed down. Terrible. Looking at the packaging, it seems it's the same stuff as the bottle but believe me, it isn't.

Total Repair 5 Conditioner: This stuff is all right. When I still had a lot of dry and damaged hair from bleaching, this and the shampoo seemed to help smooth it out. Just waiting to use up the shampoo to start another brand.

Batiste Dry Shampoo (Blush): I love this brand though the scents can be overwhelming. Blush is definitely better than the cherry scent. I've recently purchase the Original and Fresh scent so we'll see how those go. But the formula cannot be denied. Best one I've tried. I haven't lied. I seriously died. Check out my ride...okay, I'll stop.

Marc Antony Argan Oil Hairspray: I think this is my second can. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this stuff. Smells fantastic! It's a soft hold so my hair doesn't feel crunchy or stiff. If you're looking for super hold stuff, this is probably not the hairspray for you. Otherwise, you need to get this immediately.

 

*giant powderpuff to the face* (aka Make Up)

Benefit Eye Primer: Meh. The first time I used it, my eye shadow totally faded in a few hours. The second time I put powder over it before the shadow and then it worked a little better. But I'm glad I just had a sample so I don't have to fuck with it again. 

Benefit Roller Lash Mascara: I did like this mascara (keep in mind I had the sample size). It's supposed to hold a curl really well but I don't need to curl my lashes. They naturally curl up a little bit so most mascaras work like this one did on me. Maybe this curled them just a smidge more.

Neutrogena Healthy Lengths Mascara: I like the formula on this. My lashes looked very natural and it gave just a touch of volume. It layered pretty well with other mascaras, too. But the tube dried out really fast which was disappointing. I think I accidentally bought this twice so we'll see if that tube lasts a little longer.

RiRe Lash Essence: Got this is a 3B box. It's supposed to help thicken or grow your lashes. Yeah...not so much. It was just like putting some kind of clear gel on my lashes that ended up stuck together when I woke up in the morning.

Essence Lash Princess Mascara: I adore this mascara! It's great at giving my lashes volume and the natural bristle brush separates my lashes so well. This was at least my 2nd tube. And it's inexpensive! And how can you not love that packaging?

 

Randomness

Zicam Nasal Swabs: When it comes to cold medicines or remedies, Zicam is at the top of my list. There are lozenges, melts, chewables, and these swabs. Some people protested the swabs years ago because it affected their sense of smell - but I think that's because they didn't follow the directions that say DON'T SHOVE THIS ALL THE WAY UP YOUR NOSE. The oral stuff affects my taste and upsets my stomach so the swabs are perfect. 

Bath and Body Works Foaming Hand Soap: First scent was from the Halloween line - Purrfect Potion. It was supposed to smell like pumpkin and cinnamon but all I got was sugary sweet. The Sea Island Cotton scent, though, was great. Smelled very fresh and clean. Will definitely repurchase! (the Halloween scents are no longer available but their Christmas stuff is on sale plus they have a ton of other scents available in their regular line)

Sensodyne Extra Whitening Toothpaste: I believe in my last MD I said I wanted to try the extra whitening because the gentle whitening sucked. Yeah, this stuff works so much better. Already repurchased. It's also great for any kind of regular sensitivity you might have. It doesn't do much for the exposed nerve on my #29 tooth but nothing short of a composite filling would.

 

That wasn't too terribly long, was it? I think I prefer doing one longer post every two months instead of breaking it up into multiple posts once a quarter. Hopefully you'll like reading it that way, too. Feel free to post your thoughts!