Daebak Subscription Box - FALL

Well, hello there, gentle reader. ‘Tis I, the Monkey, returning with another subscription service review. This is a little different from the ones I’ve done in the past - those have been monthly, and contained makeup or snacks or some kind of combo. But this one is more of a lifetstyle/culture kinda dealio, it’s quarterly, and it’s Korean.

As if any of you are surprised, amirite?

I found the Daebak Box after I subscribed to Snack Fever, a monthly Korean snack box (I signed up after cancelling the Universal Yums box, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to review it yet). The same people who started that put this subscription service together, too. I got my Fall box a couple of weeks ago and I’m kinda floored with all the goodies packed inside.

I purchased the annual membership (pre-pay for all four seasonal boxes at $179) but you could do the seasonal membership that renews every quarter for $49.99.

Let’s take a look inside the Fall Box!

From the Daebak website: Each box will include between 8 and 12 full-sized premium products ranging from K-beauty and K-pop to fashion and accessories, stationery, and everything in between! We'll curate the best and trendiest products of each season. The contents of the box are a surprise and change every season.

Anyone who knows me can figure out why I signed up.

Aside from the goodies, there’s a magazine inside that is full of information. The first two pages list the items you received (or the variation - i.e., the color is different, the character is different, etc.) There’s no value listed for each item, but there is a quick description. The rest of the magazine consists of tips on using some items, giveaway information, and some article/blurbs about something pertaining to Korea and/or its culture (in this case, a karaoke tv show, the Kakao Friends, K-pop, and an abandoned theme park, Yongma, that’s become a popular destination for photographers, musicians, and general visitors to Korea).

MeloMeli Magic Spell Blusher. This is the only item I took a hundred pictures of because it was the first thing I pulled out and used immediately! I’m kinda rocking a blush obsession right now so this was perfect. There were two color options and it looks like I got the lighter one, which is good. The colors are very soft (as you can see from the swatches) so it was hard to get a picture of it on my face. But trust me, it looked really nice. Seems more appropriate for Spring or Summer, but these soft hues might just show up better on non-tanned Fall or Winter skin. And look at that compact! So fricken’ cute. It’s nice and sturdy, snaps closed, good sized mirror, and just adorable.

Soothing Jelly Mask from The Face Shop, with Kakao Friends’ Ryan. I don’t know anything about Kakao, but I know I love jelly face masks. I’m pumped for this.

Etude House Mist Oil Glow. The magazine in the box lists either Moist Glow or Gloss Glow, not Oil, so I’m not sure which is which. But this stuff is kinda cool - you shake it up to combine the two liquids, and there are teeny tiny shimmers in it. It doesn’t look like you just left your job at the Bazouki Club at 3:00am when you put it on, so no worries there (unless you’re into that sort of thing). I can’t quite put my finger on the scent, but it’s not bad. It’s like a combo of spa and floral and medicine. Just odd.

Jeju Aloe Ice Soothing Gel from The Face Shop. This is a GINORMOUS tub of lotion and apparently, it’s good for all sorts of uses: skin care (i.e. face and body), hair, and soothing your sunburn. Well, okay then. It’s got a light texture and absorbs really well into the skin. I’m a little leery of putting it on my face, but I’ll try anything once! Well, that’s not entirely true. Bungee jumping will FOREVER be out of my wheelhouse…

Emoji Socks from Socks Appeal. This was a random item for this box and as someone whose feet are always cold, but doesn’t want to wear shoes unless absolutely necessary, AND has worn out her last pair of slippers, I say thank you, Daebak.

Tin Memo Case with Esther Bunny. Um, little slips of note paper, in a reusable tin? Yes, please.

Cable Protector from Wiggle Wiggle. Another random item, there were five options: shell, lobster, daisy, cat, or hot dog. It’s perfect for my iPod cord, probably my phone cord, or any other thin cable/wire needed to charge any portable electronic device. I dig it, though I wish I got the lobster.

Buckle Eco Bag with Kakao Friends’ Ryan. Can never have too many tote bags, am I right? This feels pretty sturdy, not like those cheap bags you can buy at your grocery store for a buck. It’s huge, and I love the Ryan character on the front. The other option was a black bag with Muzi, but I don’t know. Ryan has that cynical look, or just that he’s so tired of your bullshit he can’t be bothered. Yeah, I like that. (UPDATE: did some research on Ryan. He’ was added to the Kakao family in 2016 and though he looks like a bear, he’s actually a maneless lion. And though his flat expression misleads most people, his emotions are quite delicate and he’s a trustworthy friend.)

Ice Tumbler from Esther Loves You. I could have gotten a pink version of this, OR a portable juice cup travel water bottle…thing. I like this one. It’s got that Tervis Tumbler technology going on. You know, it won’t sweat all over you in the hot months when it’s filled with ice cold…whatever. Reusable straw with adorable Esther rocking out to music.

Like I mentioned, there are no dollar values assigned to any of these items, but all this for around $45? I think it’s worth it. So far. I mean, this is the first box I’ve received, so we’ll have to wait and see what the Winter seaon brings. But each one will contain 8-12 full sized items.

Wanna check it out for yourself? You can always just get a month and cancel, or do the full year and figure out where to go from there. Check out the website: daebakbox.com

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs March 2019

Welcome to the first Likes/Dislikes post of 2019! For anyone new, this is a post where I sing the praises, or bitch like a curmudgeonly old biddy, about products I’ve tried over the past few months. The categories are: Panty Droppers, Mehs, and Go Fuck Yourselves.

PDs

The Potion Cabinet Shower Gel (Witch’s Cold Brew): This is an Etsy story that offers bath products, collectibles, and more. This scent is listed as: a warm cup of espresso, cocoa bean, steamed milk and vanilla chai topped with whipped cream and a touch of rum. Mostly, I only smelled the vanilla and rum, maybe a little bit of the cocoa. IT WAS HEAVENLY. I like the gel itself - leaves my skin soft and the scent doesn’t linger, which I prefer.

Merchant of Gallifry Roll-on Fragrance: Another Etsy store (yes, I’m addicted) but it looks like they don’t make perfumes anymore. There is a bunch of scented stuff, though. Loved this perfume. I believe the notes were mango and rose but I couldn’t necessarily pick out either. They melded together wonderfully for a very unique scent.

Milani Retouch and Erase Light-Lifting Concealer: I haven’t used this up, but it’s really old, and I think it’s starting to turn. It’s a fantastic concealer for me. My under eyes are much dryer now than when I was younger, and this is one of the only concealers that doesn’t look like total shit on me. Will be repurchasing.

Carol’s Daughter Frappe Body Lotion (Almond Cookie): I’ve used Carol’s Daughter’s hair products before (which SUCK ASS) so I almost didn’t get this. I needed a body lotion that worked better than what I already had (see the MEHs section below) and the scent on this is fantastic! Smells like straight up, fresh baked almond cookies. And the lotion is nice and thick, but absorbs quickly and lasts a long time. Highly recommend!!

MEHs

PUR Fully Charged Magnetic Mascara: This does give good volume, but no length, so my lashes look stubby. It’s a great layering mascara, though! Not sure how it’s anti-aging…what the fuck? Who believes that kind of shit?

Flower Beauty Light Illusion Full Coverage Concealer: While this is a good shade (it’s just about the same color as my skin so it blends in well) and it’s lightweight, it’s definitely not full coverage. It’s also not crease-proof, looks SUPER dry under my eyes and anywhere I use it to cover blemishes or spots.

Everyone Body Lotion (Lavender & Aloe): While the scent on this is really nice (great to use before bedtime,) it doesn’t seem to really moisturize my skin. Absorbs fast - or maybe it just poofs off into the ether - because my skin doesn’t fell any different after using it. It also says you can use it for face, hands, and body. Um…no. No, you can’t. This is NOT good for the face.

GFYs

Colourpop BFF Mascara: Now, anyone who’s been here a while, knows I love Colourpop. I did a whole review on a bunch of products HERE. So when they came out with mascaras, I was pumped. I got a red and black one (so far, I don’t know of any other brand that makes a red mascara.) I can only speak to the red for this review because I tried that and REFUSE TO EVEN LOOK AT THE BLACK. This shit fucked up my eyes for two days. They itched, swelled up (not to the point of impairing my vision, though), and produced excessive amounts of goop. Fucking what the fuck, Colourpop? People were reviewing this like it was the Second Cumming of Christ, and even if it wasn’t for my bad reaction, the mascara itself is pretty lame. Doesn’t volumize or lengthen or ANYTHING. Fucking useless shite.

Joah Eye Scream Volume & Lengthening Mascara: I’ve only tried a couple of products from Joah (lipstick, eyebrow pencil, and this - I think.) It’s a hit and miss brand, but this stuff was HORRIBLE. It’s a fiber mascara that does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for the lashes. However, it DOES get onto your eyeballs and poke the fucking shit out of them. Eye Scream is a pretty accurate description. So…there’s that. Fuck you, Joah.

That’s it for this (what I hope will be) quarterly report of awesome and suckage. See you next time!

Morgue Drawer March 2019

Not sure why I thought it had been longer than three months since my last MD, but it seems I’m right on track for my quarterly posting. Yay, me!

For anyone new here, this is basically the post where I talk about my garbage. I’ve used up these products, so I can give you a good idea on their performance, and if I enjoyed them. Hope it’s educational! (Also pretty sure most, if not all, of these products are Cruelty Free!)

DEBRIS

Paul Mitchell Platinum Blonde Shampoo: Technically, I haven’t used this up completely. I emptied this bigger bottle into a travel sized one. It’s a purple shampoo, and was great when I stopped coloring my hair and went with my natural salt and pepper. It made my greys look a little lavender, and not so brassy. I highly recommend it for that. And now that my hair is red and purple, I won’t mind using this when I travel.

Hask Chia Seed Dry Shampoo: I enjoy the Hask brand dry shampoos a lot. This was one that didn’t look powdery, or like I dumped a kilo of cocaine on my head. But it wasn’t that great as a dry shampoo. Did work really well to add texture so it was easier to style my hair or get it to stay in place.

Babyganics Baby Wipes: I get these at my local grocery store (Value Center). But you can get them at Target, Kroger, Amazon, Walmart, etc. I love them for cleaning off swatches, or just cleaning off eye shadow fall out on my cheeks. The cloths themselves are soft but, as with any wipe, the liquid burns a little bit. But I don’t mind using them for clean up.

Tom’s of Main Maximum Sensitive Toothpaste: I’ve been using this for years. It’s the only toothpaste that works really well for me. AND I don’t get the mouth-peeling issue like I do with every other brand. Apparently, it’s a thing that a small percentage of the population experiences with sensitive toothpaste. It’s weird and kinda gross, but at least it doesn’t hurt.

LIKE BUTTAH

Soap & Glory Righteous Body Butter: I love S&G body butters, but the scent on this one is a little heavy. Kind of like Lilies of the Valley, but on crack. I’d love to get the Sugar Crush scent again, but I don’t think they make it anymore. The link will take you to Ulta where you can look at all the other scents available. If you want something that will stay on your skin and keep you moist (uh….) you need to get a S&G body butter.

Nature’s Truth Sweet Almond Oil: I got this at Meijers (but you can get it at a lot of places) to mix with some essential and/or perfume oils the hubby got me. My feet, and toe nails particularly, love this stuff. The rest of my body ain’t complaining, either.

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMPSHADE

Mario Badescu Facial Spray (Rose and Lavender): I’ve been using the rose spray for years, but once I realized it contained some artificial stuff, I’m now trying something else. But it is nice, and the lavender one was also a nice spray to use before bed. Not too strongly scented, so if you’re sensitive to lavender, this might be okay for you.

The Ordinary Buffet Serum: Also used this for years, but after a while, it doesn’t seem to do much for me any more. But if you’re looking for some new skin care, that doesn’t cost the same as a car payment, you should check out The Ordinary.

The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid Serum: With winter, I wanted to add a little more moisture into my skin. I’m not dry dry, but I’m not as oily as I used to be. This didn’t really do much, though.

Botanics Nourishing Facial Oil: Nice smelling oil, but it broke me out. So I ended up using it on my neck and chest (or decolletage for you fancy-ass folks) and it was wonderful.

Formula 10.0.6 Picture Perfect Day Moisturizer: I’m still digging this stuff. Nice moisturizer that takes a few minutes to sink in, but it’s worth the wait. That little bit of SPF is nice, too.

That’s it for now! See you again in a few months with more garbage.

Morgue Drawer June 2018

Here we are again, folks. As the temperatures remain in the nineties, it feels safer to me to stay inside and write up a few blog posts/reviews. So let's start with my trash, eh?

AND SO....I DIE...

These make me sad. There's still product in each container but either the formulas have changed, they smell off, or they tingle against my lips and they're not supposed to do that. So I need to trash them.

Medusa's Makeup Lip Paint Remover: This stuff works great on MM's lip paints but after a while, the smell got horrible and the cap is all sticky and crusty with dried oil. It's basically almond oil, grapeseed oil, and fragrance so I imagine just almond oil will work fine. But they're having a sale right now and it's half off! I might keep the bottle and reuse it for something else. (CF)

Elf Luscious Liquid Lipstick in Nude Pink: I love this color and the formula. It started out smelling like mint but now it smells like menthol so into the garbage it goes. Would totally buy again, though, if they still had this shade. Which they don't. (CF)

Colourpop Lippies: These are probably the oldest CP lippies I own so it makes sense that they smell funny now, or the formulas have changed and actually burn when I put them on. As I have a ton of other lipsticks and glosses, I don't NEED to repurchase. Doesn't mean I won't, though...(L to R) Ultra Glossy Lip in Tight Fit; Ultra Satin in So Wavy, Lost, Petit Four, and Marshmallow (Tight Fit, Lost, and Marshmallow are still available on the CP site). 

SCRUB-A-DUB AND SMELL GOOD

Paul Mitchell Instant Moisture Conditioner: I've been enjoying a lot of Paul Mitchell products lately and the hubby loves this conditioner (and matching shampoo), too! It works pretty well to keep hair clean and moisturized, which is good for me since I bleach my hair now. I ended up buying the bigger size so hubs and I can share. (CF)

Phyto Color Enhancing Hair Mask: I got this sample with an Ulta order, I think. Though it worked really well (at least at moisturizing), it's not a Cruelty Free brand so I won't be purchasing it in the future. It's also $59 for 6 ounces. Uh...no. (NCF)

Purlisse Coconut Oil and Coffee Sugar Scrub: This was a decent scrub, smelled great, but I only got one use out of this sample size. You need to use a lot to cover the whole body (I did, anyway, and I'm not very big). (CF/Vegan)

Mitchum Stick Deodorant: This worked okay. I like the clear gel formula much better. Pretty sure any deodorant that isn't one of the 'natural' brands, isn't cruelty free. (NCF)

Nature's Truth Sweet Almond Oil: I like to use this on my feet and toenails after I shower. It's a nice, light oil, that absorbs quickly into the skin. Good for all over the body, actually. Almond oil is used as a base for other moisturizers because it has no scent. Will buy again (it's not all gone but I poured the remainder into an empty pump bottle for easier dispersement). (CF - ?)

Purple Cat Apothecary Body Butters: Two more from the 5-pack sample set I ordered. The Lemon Chiffon was divine! Lemon and butter cake. The Frostbloom was okay. Kinda floral, kinda minty...hard to pin down. This formula was much thicker and drier than the Lemon one but both worked very well, especially over the almond oil I talked about above. (CF) NOTE: This was originally an Etsy store with art and body products. Apparently, Etsy is making is difficult and more expensive for people to use it as a store front so this woman only has an on-line art store at a separate website. Dammit.

SQUEAKY CLEAN

TN Dickinson's Witch hazel: I like to use this after I do a mud mask. It's great for cleaning off any excess or left behind product without drying out my skin. I know a lot of people hate the smell of witch hazel but it doesn't bother me at all. Very gentle and could be used every day. I think I got mine at the grocery store but it's sold everyone it seems. (CF/Vegan)

Everyone Lavender and Coconut Hand Soap: We've tried a few scents from this brand and I really have enjoyed them all. This and the Lemon/Mandarin one have been been my favorites. Great for the kitchen! (CF)

BBW Good Vibes Only foaming hand soap: I bought this scent to get a deal at Bath and Body Works so I wasn't expecting it to be great but I love it. Even the hubby, who's not one for a lot of scented cleansers, really liked it. But...because it's BBW, and they sell to China, I really have only been keeping my purchases to candles (I love their candles and haven't found anything else to replace them yet). (NCF)

CHOMPERS AND THE LIKE

ACT Restoring Mouthwash: I used this stuff every day with Invisalign and now it's just a habit I can't quit. Which is good! My teeth need a lot of help so this fluoride rinse is perfect. Doesn't burn like a mo-fo, either. (NCF)

Tom's of Maine Maximum Strength Sensitive toothpaste: Love this stuff. Will keep buying. (CF)

Simply Creative Living Honey Cherry Almond lip balm: I believe I talked about another lip balm from this company. I got it at my city's Farmer's Market or the 4th of July fair. Can't remember. This was just okay. Probably won't repurchase. (CF)

ALL ABOUT THAT FACE

NO:HJ Sheet Mask: Got this from my monthly subscription, Facestory. It was really nice and it had all these gold colored flowers all over it. I felt so fancy! It's a Korean brand so the cruelty free status is hard to know/confirm.

The Ordinary Buffet serum: I've raved about this product before here but lately, this stuff hasn't been working all that well. It's actually been breaking me out. I know skin can acclimate to a product, making it less effective, even develop reactions to some. Seems that's what's happened here. So while my backup bottles sit unused, I'm trying something else. I'll let you know how it goes. (CF)

Ole Henrickson Banana Bright Eye Cream: Got this in one of my last Ipsy bags, I think. The cream is yellow but not sure it's brightening. It's thick but doesn't absorb that well. In fact, it didn't really do shit. (CF)

SkinRX Labs MadeCera Cream: Another sample product but can't remember where I go it. I really enjoyed it, though. Felt great on the skin and did a good job of moisturizing. Again, SkinRX is Korean so can't confirm or deny cruelty free status.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Cream: I've been using the day and night creams for a while. Still loving them. (CF)

ALL SORTS OF STUFF

The Ordinary Fluid Primer (forgot to put this with the makeup): This stuff is pure shit. When I bought it, the bottle was barely half full (but it wasn't wet or sticky so nothing leaked - it just wasn't filled). Can't get it out of the bottle THROUGH the dropper so I'd just wipe off enough OFF the dropper to put on my face. And then I felt like a total grease ball. I can't even use it up because it feels so gross and my skin hates it. (CF)

Burt's Bees Cleansing Oil: I really like cleansing oils so I thought I'd give BB's version a shot. It's...okay. Smells a little weird and doesn't do a great job but it's fine. I actually didn't finish this yet but I put the remaining product in a travel bottle. (CF)

Nip + Fab Glycolic Cleansing Pads: I got a sample pack of these years ago when I was still getting the Walmart box. And I really liked them so I got this full size at the drug store. Turned out they didn't really do that much for my skin. But I like the travel friendly pre-soaked pads (as opposed to a bottle) even though these felt kind of dry. Maybe that's why they didn't seem to do much. I'd be willing to try them again, though, in case I got a bad batch. (CF)

Manyo Factory Herb Green Cleansing Oil: I'm pretty sure this sample was what started my love of cleansing oils. This stuff was great. Smelled good and did a great job of removing makeup, especially after the heavy stuff I use for convention appearances! It's another Korean brand so I don't know if they're cruelty free.

First Aid Beauty Hydrating Serum (not sure why I didn't put this with the previous stuff): I've used a couple products from this brand before and while I did like them, I don't feel the brand is so superb to be worth the higher price tag. I did really enjoy this, though. (CF)

Morgue Drawer March 2018

Welcome to my trash! This is a post dedicated to all the products I've used up over the past few months so I'm pretty sure I know how they perform, smell, feel, taste, and wear on my personage. (AGAIN - these are reviews of how these products work for MY body). I'll provide links to all, assuming I can find them, so you can check them out for yourselves.

BEAT THAT MUG

Essence Lash Princess Volume Mascara: Love this mascara, though this tube seemed drier than past tubes I've used. Could be I had it in my drawer too long!

Lunatcik Costmetic Labs lipsticks: I love the color on these but the bullets are so dry and sticky now, I can't even swatch them let alone use them on my lips. *sad trombone* Mine were the old packaging, apparently, so looks like you have to get the gold packaging now.

NYX Dewy Finishing Spray: I love this and it has replaced the ELF one I used to use.

Essence Eyeliner brush: I absolutely love this for gel liners. I imagine if I had a liquid one where the wand or brush went wonky, this would work great for that, too. And it's $2!

LIKE BUTTAH

Bath & Body Works Body Cream (Jasmine & Vanilla): I know B&BW sells in China but I still haven't found anything to replace this scent, one of the best I've ever found in my life in a body product. The whole Sensual line is this combo of jasmine and vanilla and is pure heaven. This body cream is excellent. AND FUCK MY LIFE I CAN'T FIND IT ON THE SITE ANYMORE.

Simply Creative Living lip balm (peppermint): This was okay. I got it at the Clawson Farmer's Market, I think, from a local vendor. The quote on there also has a spelling mistake.

PurplecatCreatives Apothecary Body Butters: This is a seller on Etsy. I bought a 6-pack of minis to try out. These are super thick and hard to spread on the skin. BUT they're perfect for your feet. The Dragon Butter scent (dragons blood) was a little too heavy. The Candlelight scent (which I can't remember and there's no description - it's seasonal) was nice but a little perfumy. I'm using Lemon Chiffon now which is heavenly. 

Skin & Co Umbrian Truffle hand cream: Decent hand cream. Smells like coconut.

(MOSTLY) CLEAN AND SHINY

Marc Anthony Nourishing Argan Oil shampoo/conditioner: This stuff worked really well. The shampoos that say they're 'color safe' are useless. Find yourself a good moisturizing one and that will work much better. This line is really good - scent it nice, my color didn't fade too quickly, and my hair felt wonderful.

Hask Charcoal Purifying Dry Shampoo: I liked this one because it didn't leave a lot of white residue that most dry shampoos do. Smells good, too. Not the best dry shampoo I've used but decent!

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMP SHADE

Mario Badescu Facial Spray with rose water: I love this stuff so much. I'm still working on a giant bottle I got off HauteLook. I recently got the lavender one, too, and it's great to use before bed.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Creams: I love these. The day has SPF15, which I know isn't a lot but it works fine. Nice cream and doesn't make me feel greasy. The night cream is great, too. It makes a great seal over my serum and oils.

Benton Honest Cleansing foam: This was a nice gentle cleanser. It was nice to take traveling, too.

The Ordinary Buffet serum: Love it. Works great. Will continue to buy!

DEBRIS (AKA RANDOM ASSORTMENT)

Seventh Generation Free & Clear Wipes: I wanted to find some wipes to replace the small packs of makeup wipes I've used over the years. I don't use them on my face - mostly just for cleaning swatches. So why not baby wipes? These were pretty good. If I did need to take something off my face (a mistake perhaps?) these did sting a bit and left some lint behind. But for general swatches they were fine. Trying something different now, though.

ACT Restoring Mouthwash (cool mint): Since I've started Invisalign (last August), I worry about my teeth being covered up all the time and trapped food, etc. So in addition to more brushing and flossing, I use this mouthwash. I love ACT. This and the green flavor (mint - my preferred) do NOT sting at all.

Mitchum Dry spray deodorant: I discovered this brand when Secret stopped worked for me. And I really like the gel so I thought I'd give this a try. WAAAAY to heavy on the scent but the product works well. I'm back to the gel, though.

Tom's of Main toothpaste: I wanted to see if their non-fluoride sensitive toothpaste works as well as the maximum sensitive fluoride one. It does not. Plus I like having fluoride in my oral care as much as possible because I am cavity prone. But I can only find it at The Vitamin Shoppe - which is fine. I have a membership there!

Hello Sensitivity Relief toothpaste: Meh. Not a foaming paste, which is fine, but felt like I wasn't actually brushing with any product. Didn't help with sensitivity that much, either. The taste was bleh. But the worst part was trying to open the flip cap. I struggled a lot with it so will not be going back.

Ipsy January 2018

All righty. Here we are, 2018, new year, new Ipsy bag, same lame ass non-info card bullshit...

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10, you'll get 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized makeup, hair, skin care products, and a reusable makeup bag. Check them out here: IPSY

(I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

January's theme is Game Face, I think. To be honest, I usually throw away the card the second I take it out of the bag. It's covered in bullshit platitudes, heavy handed 'inspirational' crap, and I can hardly believe it but I'm sure it's even smaller than last year. To play devil's advocate with myself, they're probably saving $$ by not making it larger and are able to get companies like The Balm, Ole Henriksen, and other well-known brands to get their products in here. But still....SO FUCKING WEAK.

The bag is an absolute hideosity. I just can't even...the contrasting colors are so 80s, which might be on trend but as a child of that era, I don't ever wanna see it again! However, I'm digging the products this month!

Absolute New York Eye Artist Single Shadow (Posse): This shadow is soft but not crumbly, decently pigmented, and does look very pretty on the eye. It swatches like a warm orange/brown but it's actually a rose-taupe color. It's nothing super special so I'll probably donate it. Looks full size and goes for $5. (their website says CF but I can't find any corroboration on that from my cruelty free resources so...?)

The Balm Mary-Lou Manizer: I've tried quite a few products from this brand through Ipsy and I've been satisfied with most. I've never tried this cult favorite and now I can! Though I hate the size of their samples (sometimes the small pans are difficult to work with) I'm usually happy to get something from them. I'm sort of okay with Mary-Lou. It's described as a warm honey color but it looks more light gold. Can look like a wet, high-shine accent on the skin, which is nice. In some light, though, I can see all the sparkle (mirco glitter, at least, and not giant chunks). So I do and don't like it. When I'm in the mood to look like a micro fairy jizzed on my face, I'll probably reach for this. Full size is $24 so this 1g sample is around $3. (CF)

Cake by Cake Beauty Heavenly Cream Intensive Body Balm: I still have 2 or 3 other lotions from Cake Beauty but they are all different formulas! This stuff smells fantastic and absorbs well. It's 20% shea butter and also contains aloe and camellia leaf extract. I look forward to smelling like vanilla frosting for the next 6 months. Mmmm...frosting (disclaimer: don't be an asshole and eat lotion. That's just dumb.) Full size goes for $22 so this 1 ounce sample runs around $4.50. (CF)

Ole Henriksen Banana Bright Eye Cream: Holy hell the website claims this eye cream can do ALL THE THINGS - brighten, reduce dark circles, firm, instantly reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, and is great for under concealer. Then there's a long list of data including lots of "100%" and asterisks and on and on. Personally that comes off as trying too hard but that's just me. The first time I tried it, it felt thick and sticky and didn't brighten anything. BUT it did feel moisturizing and it absorbed rather quickly for such a thick cream. I thought it would be too heavy under concealer but damn if the Tarte Shape Tape didn't look great! If nothing else, at least it'll provide some moisture during this frigid winter season! Full size is $38 so this teeny sample is maybe $7.50. (CF)

SLMISSGLAM L36 Tapered Highlight Brush: I love getting brushes. And I'm not usually a girly-girl, but the pink glittery handle on this is adorbs. The synthetic bristles are super soft and it works perfectly with the Mary-Lou Manizer highlight sample! Apparently it works with powders, creams, and liquids but...because it's kind of flimsy, I'm not so sure about that. I'll have to test it out. Full size. This brush is not available on the SLMISSGLAM site (which actually makes me want to throw up it's such a pastel rainbow unicorn glitter shit show) so it may be an Ipsy exclusive. I've linked the closest looking set of 6 brushes which goes for $80. So maybe this brush is around $13. (CF)

All told this bag is around a $33. Not terrible but I've had bags that are upwards of $50-$70 so it's kinda weak. However, I do think I'll get a lot of use out of the products this months so it's still a win for me!

Ipsy June 2017 Review

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10, you will received 4-5 sample (sometimes full sized) makeup, hair, and skin care products along with a reusable makeup bag. Check them out here: IPSY

(I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

This month's theme is whatever-who-fucking-cares month. The bag is really cute, though. Canvas on the outside with a nylon lining. I dig it. Let's get into the products, shall we?

Delectable Coconut and Cream Triple Moisture Body Lotion: (by Cake Beauty) I liked the lemon hand cream I got before much better than this. This is very lightweight and absorbs quickly, which is nice. But when I got my Ipsy bag, the second I opened the bubble pack I was smacked in the face with a coconut scent. The tube was still capped and sealed, nothing was broken or torn. But the scent just permeated EVERYTHING. Not very happy about that. I like coconut but dayum. Full size is 8 ounces so this 2 ounce size is valued around $3.50. (CF and Vegan)

Doucce Maxlash Volumizer Mascara (black): I can't report on this yet because I have about 5 open mascaras already. Didn't want to open this just yet. But I love trying new mascaras! Full size goes for $22 (can't seem to find the amount and a lot of mascaras hold between 7mls and 11 mls). So let's say this one is about 8mls so this travel size of 6 mls costs about $16.50 (CF)

Vasanti Cosmetics Power Oils Lip Gloss in Super Mom: Love love love this lip gloss. I'm actually a bit tired of matte lipstick (not that I will stop wearing it, of course) but with summer in full swing, it's nice to switch things up. Super pigmented, not sticky at all, long lasting, this color is gorgeous and will probably look good on almost everyone. Full sized, this gloss goes for $22 - though it's on sale right now for $19. (CF)

TheBalm Cosmetics Balm Springs Blush: I do like getting products from TheBalm. I've really enjoyed a lot of their makeup. This blush is a gorgeous neutral rosy shade. Look very natural, at least on my pasty ass skin. My only issue is the samples they use are so small they're hard to work with. Very difficult to get an even brush full of powder. Still nice though! Full size (5.5g) is $21 so this 1g sample is probably around $4. (CF)

Beauty for Real I-LINE 27-7 Eyeliner in Chocolate Fix: While I admit this color is really nice (sometimes it's hard to find a brown that's neutral or cool toned) the lasting power is for shit. Tightlined with it and within 5 minutes it was gone. It lasted a tad longer on the actual eye lids. Fucking weak. I doubt I'll be reaching for this very often. This is full sized and goes for $14. (I assume CF because the founder works with the SPCA - that'd be MAJOR hypocritical if the brands wasn't CF, yes?).

Wow, the value of this bag is around $57 (give or take a few bucks due to my mathematical prowess). That's not too shabby!