Final Morgue Drawer 2021

I’m not sure if I mean this will be my final MD post ever or just for 2021. My garbage, makeup, and fav reviews have kinda left the building. But, like Elvis, they were spotted a few times throughout the year. But I wanted to wrap up 2021 with one big MD post, and I’ll write up another one with my favorites and hated-its. Hmmm, that’s a little catchier than PD, MEH, and GFY.

We shall see…

But first - GARBAGE. As I’ve been collecting these empties for a loooong time, this is gonna be one big ass post. So let’s get to it.

Boka Toothpaste (ela mint): I tried this out because it’s supposed to help remineralize teeth (I did the research a long time ago and the nano-hydroxyapetite technology been used in Japan since the 70s). Not sure if it did anything, to be honest. But it’s nice.

Tom’s of Main (rapid relief): My go-to toothpaste to relieve tooth sensitivity, which I have. And it’s the only one that doesn’t make my mouth peel (yes, it’s a thing and only happens to a small percentage of the population that uses things like Sensodyne or any other commercially produced sensitivity toothpaste).

Native Deodorant: I tried this with a coupon code and, as usual, natural deodorants just don’t work for me. I think I ended up sweating MORE than I normally do. Yes, this isn’t an antiperspirant. I get that. But it shouldn’t make me sweat more. I’m just saying…

Hask Dry Shampoo (biotin and charcoal): The biotin one is ok. It does feel like it thickens my hair a bit but it still looks and feels dirty/greasy after I use it. The charcoal, on the other hand, is awesome.

Cake Beauty Dry Shampoo: It smells really nice, maybe a little heavy, but it doesn’t work that well.

Marc Anthony Argon Oil Hairspray (extra hold): I love this stuff and just realized, as I’m typing this, I don’t have any backups. Dammit!

AG Hair Care (extra firm hairspray): The name makes you think it’ll result in crunchy shellacqued hair but it doesn’t. Unless you really apply it heavily. Either way its a nice product. I had the mini size and it lasted quite a while.

Raw Sugar Living Raw Boost: This is one of the only products I’ve found that helps tame frizz and makes my wavy hair look smooth. It’s hard to find and I had to stock up 5 or 6 of them. Hopefully it doesn’t go away ever!

The Body Shop Banana Shampoo/Conditioner: Meh. It smells nice but don’t think it really did any favors for my hair.

Mario Badescu Rosewater Facial Spray: This is a staple product for me. Will always repurchase.

Garnier Micellar Cleansing Water: Now that Garnier is cruelty free (hooray!) I bought this again. It’s the only micellar water that doesn’t burn my eyes. I also use it as my cleanser in the mornings, as it’s pretty gentle and my face doesn’t need harsh cleansing after a rough night of sleeping.

Mamonde Rose Water Toner: Noooope. This stuff broke me out. My skin was very unhappy. I have a 50/50 record with Korean skin care and I usually know with 1-3 days if it’s going to go horribly wrong.

Urban Hydration Micellar Cleansing Water (apple and banana): I loved the smell of this but again, it burned my eyes and didn’t really take off makeup that well. Bummer.

Fourth Ray Beauty BFD Cleansing Oil: I do like this cleansing oil but the smell went off sooner than I expected.

The Body Shop Tea Tree Face Wash: Another staple; will continue to repurchase.

Mad Hippie Cream Cleanser: I really did like this. Very gentle. This brand is a little expensive, IMHO, and now that I really don’t need something like this in the morning, I won’t get it again.

OhK! Drying Pink Blemish Powder: This is kinda cool. It would be a dupe for the Mario Badescu one, and I’m sure there are others out there. If you’ve never seen this, you don’t shake the bottle. Just dip a Q-tip into the clear liquid all the way down to the pink powder and remove. Dab the wet powder onto your zit. It does work and it’s kinda fun.

The Ordinary Niacinamide Serum: I do enjoy this serum. My skin likes niacinamide. I switch it up, though, between this one and the Fourth Ray Beauty brand. For some reason, my skin prefers if I do this. After too many bottles of one brand, it stops working. Weird.

Good Molecules Ultra Hydrating Facial Oil: I love this stuff. With colder weather, it’s nice to add an extra layer of moisture to the skin. I forgot all about this product. Will definitely repurchase.

Nature’s Truth Rose Water: I can’t remember why I bought this. I don’t really need a toner so maybe it was just to add rosewater to my regimen? *shrug*

Facetory Facial Oil with Oats/Squalane: This stuff is brilliant. My skin adored this and it gave a nice glow. It’s more like a milky serum than an oil, to me anyway. Will definitely repurchase.

Fourth Ray Beauty Papaya Face Milk: I love this stuff. It’s a nice gentle acid in a milky suspension. It almost seems like it might not be doing anything but don’t put this over an open pimple or a scratch. Just FYI. I will keep buying this!

Mad Hippie Triple C Night Cream: Very nice night cream but this stuff is too expensive for what it is. Won’t be buying again.

Derma E Night Cream: This was fine. I like Derma E products. Little pricey though.

Purito Sea Buckthorn Cream: I used this as a night cream. It’s not heavy, more like a gel cream. But this is one of those Korean products that my skin liked. I might end up repurchasing.

Formula 10.0.6 Day Moisturizer: Yet another staple. I will repurchase.

Wow, I think that’s it. What I might end up doing is combining this and the favorites posts into one. That makes a little more sense and a lot less work for me.

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and here’s hoping 2022 brings us more hope, joy, and health!

MORGUE DRAWER December 2020

Reviewing garbage is just so appropriate right now. Used to feel kinda weird, but now that 2020 is coming to a close, it’s more fitting than ever.

Let’s take a look at all the stuff I used up over the past few months!

BEAT THAT MUG

Notoriously Morbid Slumber Salve: I can’t remember the flavor/scent on this one but this stuff is awesome. It actually stays on overnight and my lips feel so soft in the morning. I really need to get more…

Essence Lash Princess Volume Mascara: I don’t enjoy the other formulas in this line, just the OG Volume. Really great at volumizing and separating my lashes. I love the bristle brush, too. I think this particular tube was a little clumpy, though.

Dionis Goat Milk Lip Balm: Pretty good balm. I think I have one more, in a different flavor, to try, so we’ll see if they’re consistent quality (looks like they may have changed the scent formula - Peppermint Twist is the name now).

Crazy Rumors Lip Balm: This one ended up being terrible. It dried out my lips the more I used it.

Medusa’s Makup Rage Against the Bean Lip Balm: Very good lip balm, wonderful vanilla scent. Would definitely buy again. This looks like it might be an old formula (there are new balms with new packaging on the site) so this is on mega sale right now.

Tarte Sex Kitten Eye Liner: This is a great eyeliner. Very black, and doesn’t smudge or move all day. It’s probably one of the few liners that actually stays on my waterline, too.

Milani Highly Rated Mascara: It’s…okay. It works better as a layering mascara, not so great on its own.

LIKE BUTTAH

Carol’s Daughter Almond Cookie Frappe Body Lotion: HOLY AMAZEBALLS. This stuff is a great moisturizer AND the scent is straight up almond cookie. It’s aweoms.

Nature’s Truth Sweet Almond Oil: I get this stuff at Meijers. Great base oil to mix with essential oils or scent oils to make you own…whatever!

Theme Creme Screaming Lambs: I can’t remember if the name of the shope is Theme Creme, or that’s the line. But I met the owner at a local horror con a few years ago and bought 3 jars. This one has ingredients that help with sore muscles and bruising (a strong clove scent). And it was really great, as are the other 2. The only problem is that when this gets warm, the beeswax beads resolidify so there are a bunch of little wax beads in the lotion that take a while to remelt against the skin. Otherwise, I loved this stuff, but I don’t know where to buy it.

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMP SHADE

Formula 10.0.6 Picture Perfect Day Cream with SPF 15: Staple moisturizer. Will continue to repurchase (though with the winter months upon us, I’ve been adding in a facial oil with it).

ELF Happy Hydration Cream: Nice, and I liked that it had no scent.

The SAEM Baobab Collagen Cream: I really liked this but the company is not cruelty free so will not repurchase. I can only find this on Amazon and Ebay (as opposed to Asian beauty websites) so not sure if they still make it or it’s being phased out.

Fourth Ray Beauty BFD Cleansing Oil: Since cleansing balms now bother my eyes, I’ve turned to oils. This is a really nice one.

The SAEM Green Tea Cleansing Water: It was okay. Not great, but not the worst.

Mad Hippie Cream Cleanser: This is a new brand to me, and this cleanser is fantastic. Already repurchased.

Mario Badescu Rose Facial Spray: Staple face mist. Will continue to repurchase.

TN Dickinson’s Witch Hazel: This was fine but the scent was a little off-putting (the natural scent of witch hazel is very earthy). I got a different brand now and it does NOT have a scent like this one at all.

Formula 10.0.6 Berry Fresh Balancing Mud Mask: Good, but I didn’t use it up fast enough. Had to pitch it. Also it doesn’t look like they make this one anymore.

Look At Me Sweet Honey Sheet Mask: This was awesome. Good scent, good serum, and my skin felt great the next day. I got mine in my Facetory subsription but you can get this at YesStyle.

The Ordinary Niacinamide Serum: My skin loves this serum so I will keep buying it. Eventually, my skin acclimates and rebels, but if I just switch it out for the Fourth Ray version (and go back and forth between those two brands), it’s fine.

Fourth Ray Beauty Reveal AHA Serum: Really enjoyed this and it smells great.

Fourth Ray Beauty Papaya Face Milk: My skin loves this particular face milk (I’ve tried other and my face ain’t having it). Smells like papaya candy and my skin actually gets a nice glow from it (hubby even commented one day about it).

Good Molecules Niacinamide Serum: This is okay. My skin doesn’t like it as much as the Ordinary or Fourth Ray Beauty. You’d think they’d all mostly be the same but nope.

GEE, YOUR HAIR SMELLS TERRIFIC

Hask Coconut Dry Shampoo: Works pretty well, and the coconut scent isn’t TOO overpowering.

Hask Unwined Dry Shampoo: This also works pretty well, but the scent is very very strong. Won’t be getting this one again. Can’t find this particular dry shampoo anymore (they have regular shampoo in this line, though).

DEBRIS

Tippy Toes Baby Wipes: I use these to wipe off swatches or my hands. I will use wipes to clean up fall out under my eyes, but always have to apply a face oil afterwards. No matter how gentle the brand says it is, it’s always a bit drying on the face. The scent on these is awful, though. Maybe their unscented ones are better…?

Apagard Nano-Hydroxyapetite Toothpaste: I wanted to see if this stuff actually works. NAHA is an ingredient, created by NASA and sold to Japan, that helps build enamel in your teeth from the inside out (as opposed to fluoride which helps on the outer layer of the teeth). You can look up scientific papers on-line about it and why NASA created it, but Japan has been using it in their dental care since 1970 (I believe). And I’ll be damned if this stuff doesn’t work. My teeth are sensitive and if I don’t use sensitive toothpaste, they hurt like hell. NAHA helps with sensitivity by repairing micro-scratches or breeches in your enamel so now I don’t need sensitive specific toothpaste. How fucking cool is that?

Tom’s of Main Sensitive Toothpaste: This is what I used before I found that Apagard stuff (I’m also trying the Boka brand with the NAHA since I won’t want to have to wait to get the paste from Japan). It’s great stuff.

Native Natural Deodorants: Natural deodorants don’t work on me - and these are no exception. They actually make me sweat more. But I wanted to try this brand because so many people were singing its praises (and I got a coupon). So…yeah. Total bust. But it’s fine if I’m staying at home and not overexerting myself with anything. They smell really nice, too.

All righty. That wraps up my trash for 2020. Fingers crossed that 2021 will only have me talking about literal garbage instead of metaphorical.

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs December 2020

Well, here we are folks. Almost to the end of the shit show we’ve come to know as the year 2020. I anticipate over spillage into 2021, but I’m hopeful it will only taint the first few months with its grubby little paws.

In the meantime, let’s go through a handful of stuff I really enjoyed, or not, or really had luke-warm feelings toward. I’m thinking of changing the GFY to FO: FUCK OFF. Little shorter, little sweeter…well, maybe not sweeter.

Also, I’m sure that all but one product mentioned here is from a company that’s cruely free! (I don’t know about the toothpaste, Think Your Teeth).

PANTY DROPPERS

Tarte Lights, Camera, Lashes Mascara: One of my favorite mascaras. It’s expensive so I wait until it goes on sale to purchase. It seemed I either bought an older tube or I had this sitting in my stash a little too long. Felt kinda dry and clumpy this time around and didn’t last very long. It’s usually not like that.

Tarte Busy Gal Brows (Medium Cool Brown): I love colored brow gels since my eyebrow hairs are very fine and few. If I don’t want to draw them in, I use a gel like this. I really liked the color, even though the hold isn’t great. But the teeny tiny brush is the best part. This is way to expensive to justify buying (unless it goes on mega sale - which I think it did and I have a backup). I kept the brush and am trying it with another brow gel that’s a little too thick. Hoping the smaller brush will help apply it better.

Essence Precise Eyeliner Brush: I love this fucking brush! And it’s $3 (used to be slightly cheaper, if I remember correctly but it’s worth it). I use this for gel eye liners or when I need more precise application for cosplay makeup.

Milani Retouch & Erase Light-Lifting Concealer (Light): This is pretty much the only concealer that looks good on me. Not drying, not heavy, blends out well. It works best if I’ve put a facial oil under my eyes, let it sit for about 10 seconds, then blend the concealer on top before setting with powder. I’ve since discovered Milani has one lighter shade (Fair) which is good because Light is way too yellow. Sometimes you can get it from Ulta, but I had to get mine directly from the Milani website.

NYX Cosmic Metals Lip Cream (Electro Magnetic and Celestial Star): I loved these lip creams. Gorgeous jewel tones, shiny and sparkly but didn’t feel gritty on the lips. Unfortunately, these just got too old and now are a little dry and streaky. (They have fewer colors available at Ulta, and the NYX site is out of stock on some so I’m wondering if this product is slowing being phased out)

MEH's

Sky Organics Rosewater Facial Mist: At first I really enjoyed this, but the longer I used it, the heavier the scent became. To the point where it’s just unbearable now and it stinks up the entire room. Otherwise, it’s a decent face mist. I got mine at CVS but I bet you can get them all over.

Think Your Teeth Toothpaste (BTS Collab): I think I got this in a Daebak box. The toothpaste itself seems fine, but the flavor is off-putting. Lavender, I think. I’d be interested in trying their sensitive formula, though.

Milani Trifecta Mascara: Doesn’t really do much, definitely not three things. Looks more just like a soft, natural mascara. It’s on sale at their site…shocking.

LA Girl Oomph’d Mascara: See above.

AOA Studio Buttercream Gel Liners (Blueberry and Pistacio): This is the Shop Miss A house brand, I believe (pretty much EVERYTHING on Shop Miss A is around $1 - no joke, and there’s some good stuff on there). Loved the colors on these (rich blue and green) but the little pots are completely dried out. Like we’re talking little round bricks and they’re not that old. Granted, they were super cheap, so I’m not that mad about it.

Colourpop Pretty Fresh Creamy Concealer (Light 33C): The color is great but the product itself looks very dry on me (so much for that hyaluronic acid part, eh?). EDITOR’S ASIDE: if you go to the CP website now, they just launched a Hello Kitty collab and your computer cursor TURNS INTO A SNOWFLAKE!!!!

Colourpop Creme Gel Liner (Puppy): I love this color so much. I went through a phase of only wearing this with a matching matte shadow in the crease of my eyelid. But the pencil dried out way too fast, and is completely unusable now.

ELF Flat Brush: For an inexpensive brush, this lasted longer than I thought it would. It was nice for spreading out concealer or inner corner highlight on the eyes. But the little bristles pushed down into the ferrule and I can’t use it anymore. But I’ll probably get another one, since they’re pretty cheap. I think this was the concealer brush, but mine doesn’t have a name on it, where the packing now does include that (better late than never).

GO FUCK YOURSELVES

Fourth Ray Beauty Mellow Milk Mist: As you can see, it took me nearly the entire bottle of using this stuff to figure out it was what made my skin take a nose dive into the shitter. Broke me out something horrible! Which is sad because it gives a nice glow to the skin. GAH!

NYX Gel Liner/Smudger (White): So fucking dry, so fucking difficult to work with, so fucking NOT pigmented, and so fucking dry within a short amount of time. TRASH!

Notoriously Morbid Eye Base (Dreams Fade): Anyone following me on IG knows I’ve been loving on NM so hard. But this eye base is terrible. It doesn’t help shadows last longer, nor does it help with intensifying pigment, AND it ends up making all eye shadows crease like crazy on me. FUCK! (not available on their site, so it may have been a Halloween Advent Calendar exclusive)

Milani Stay Put Waterproof Eyeliner (Linked On Black): This product is the reason I refuse to wear waterproof makeup any more. It’s nearly impossible to remove this stuff (which might be a pro for some people) and irritated my eyes. The actual liner also dried out and separated from the wooden pencil around it. WHAT THE HELL?

Catrice Long Lasting Lip Pencil (And The Cherry On The Top): Spoiler Alert - it’s not. And it’s not for sale anywhere that I can find. WEAK!

BONUS ITEM - The Year 2020: No explanation needed, amirite?

Okay, well that wraps up my loves, likes, and hates for 2020. Here’s to hoping 2021 doesn’t suck as much giant donkey dick!

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs April 2020

I’m considering changing the name of these posts. The title is just a little long and not all that snappy, you dig? Something more like Yay or Nay, maybe Dead or Alive? I don’t know. I’m gonna ponder it for a while. Maybe by the next post, I’ll have my shit together. In the meantime…

For those of you who are new here, this is basically my likes and dislikes of products I’ve used over the past 3 months. Some are things I’ve fallen in love with and can’t sing their praises enough; others are products that make me want to burn this whole damn world down. Let’s take a look!

PDs (Panty Droppers)

Colourpop Super Shock Shadow in Cuddle Buddy: I love me some CP super shocks. The only bad thing is that many of them dry out loooong before you can use them up. Case in point here. I loved the shade - a shiny, cool-toned pink that was a perfect color for me to put all over my eyelid and call it a day. But it’s crumbly and hard to work with now. Would definitely get it again, except they don’t sell this shade anymore. Dammit.

Tarte Clay Pot Waterproof Liner in Prom Queen: Absolutely loved this shade. I have nothing like it in my stash. It’s a mid-tone cool purple, and shows up surprisingly well over a lot of eye shadow shades. But, like CP, it started to dry out and is difficult to use now. They don’t sell this shade anymore, but they have three colors still available and on sale for $10! That’s cheap for Tarte.

NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Milk: This is my go-to base to put on my eye lids anytime I want an eye shadow to really stand out or to help with the pigmentation (I’ve tried other pencils and even white gel eyeliner, but they don’t work as well as this). Some shadows look rather sheer on their own, but put them over a white or black base and voila! Perfection achieved. This pencil is sooper old, though, and is unusable. And really gross. I already got a new one!

MEHs (Mehs)

ELF Eye Shadow Primer in Sheer: Though it says the color is ‘sheer’, there is some pigmentation here. It does cover discoloration, veins, etc., a little bit. I, personally, don’t like any color (like the Milani primer) but this is fine. However, its staying power is rather lacking. It holds eye shadows for just a few hours at most. I have really oily eye lids so maybe that has something to do with it. For the price ($3) it’s not horrible. It was actually the first eye primer I ever used, when I’d learned there was such a thing, but it was only $1 then!

TheYEON Jeju Canola Honey Clean Balm: One of those cleansing balms from Korea. Works great at removing makeup; smells nice. But I’ve developed a reaction to cleansing balms when I use them on my eyes (or if it gets in my eyes while using it on the rest of my face). They get all red, itchy, and crusty the morning after I use the balm. So I just can’t bring myself to finish this tub.

Pacifica Liquid Cover Full Coverage Lasting Concealer in 20NF: Don’t let that name fool you. It is NOT full coverage by any means (which is fine since I don’t like full coverage). But I bought it because it did claim it wasn’t drying and felt lightweight. It does feel light. So much so that it doesn’t cover anything. Well, maybe it adds a little coverage to the purple under my eyes, and was okay as a spot concealer. But it mostly it just blends away, leaving the skin looking kinda dry. It might work better for people with oilier skin or don’t have as many years on them as I do.

GFYs (Go Fuck Yourselves)

Colourpop Glitterally Obsessed Body Glitter in Wish Me Luck: What is the fucking purpose of this stuff? You use it once and that’s it. Even with a sealed container, this shit is completely useless after one application. And surprise, it’s not available on the site anymore. Just pressed glitters and glitter gels, which you have to dig to find because they’re not on any pop up menus. Figures.

Burt’s Bees Overnight Intensive Lip Treatment: If by treatment you mean it completely dries out the lips so you put on more balm, which dries out your lips MORE, so you put on MORE balm, which dries out the lips even MORE….do you see where I’m going with this?

Essence The Eyebrow Pen in Dark Brown: I’m practically crying over here as I type this. This is the 2nd pen I bought, just in case the first one was a dud (it happens in every makeup brand). NOOOOOOOPE. This pen was even worse than the last one. At least I got one eyebrow done with the last pen. I didn’t even get that with this one. Semi-permanent color, my ASS, Essence. FUCK YOU.

Real Techniques Eye Miracle and Finish Miracle Remedy Sponges: What the fucking fuck is the point of these? They don’t absorb water; they’re hard as rocks; they don’t blend out makeup. WHY DO THESE EVEN EXIST?? Gods dammit, RT. What the hell are you doing over there? Laughing all the way to the bank, I presume.

Okay. That’s it for this quarter. Hope everyone is being smart, staying safe and healthy, and hanging on to their sanity in any way they can. Until next time!

Morgue Drawer End of 2019

FINALLY, the post you’ve all been waiting for: MY GARBAGE!

BEAT THAT MUG

Babyganics Baby Wipes: I use these to clean off swatches, and any eye shadow fallout when I’m doing my makeup (I always do my eyes first). They sting a little under the eyes but since I don’t use them for my whole face, it’s fine. And you can get a ton of these for very little cost at my grocery store, Value Center. But you can get them in a lot of different places for a great price.

ELF HD Undereye Setting Powder in Sheer: I love using this to set my concealer under my eyes. It’s finely milled, soft, not heavy, and doesn’t add any dryness to my skin (or at least it doesn’t add the appearance of dryness).

BH Cosmetics Lip Gloss: I like their glosses. The texture on this got really gloopy, so I’m tossing it. Seems they don’t have this product on their site anymore, but I love a lot of their makeup.

Catrice Prime and Fine Fixing Sprays (Dewy Glow and Multitalent): I only tried the Dewy one because Taylor Wynn recommended it on YouTube, but I’d been using the multitalent one for a looong time. I love this stuff, much better than the Dewy, which doesn’t give me any more glow than the multitalent spray, but it is more drying - go figure.

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMPSHADE

Physicians Formula Perfect Matcha Cleansing Balm: I really enjoy cleansing balms. They’re great at taking off makeup. But something new has developed in my body, and I don’t mean I’m experiencing a second puberty: after I use this kind of product, the next morning my eyes are red and swollen and crusty. And it wasn’t just from this brand. I used three different ones to test my theory and yep, all of them irritated the shit out of my eyes. Kinda pissed off, but these things happen. I’m trying out some cleansing oil instead to see if that’s any better. Fingers crossed…

Skinfood Pineapple Peeling Gel: I, personally, love a good peeling gel. It feels like a lotion going on dry skin, then soon the enzymes start working and the dead skin just balls right up and off your face. Hmmm, that sounds dirty… It does sound gross, but I actually like the sensation. It feels like I’m really helping my skin by removing the dead cells and afterwards, my face feels so damn soft. I’m not sure of Skinfood’s cruelty free status, so now that this is gone, I’m trying ELF’s version.

The Ordinary Niacinamide 10% + Zinc 1% Serum: I do love the serums from this company and I hadn’t tried this before. It’s fine; the zinc stings a little if you have a scratch or ‘open’ pimple situation. But I find with this brand that if I go through two bottles of the same product, it stops working. I just finished the 2nd bottle so I won’t be repurchasing.

Fourth Ray Beauty Remedy Niacinamide 10% Serum: This is Colourpop’s skin care sister brand and the first niacinamide product I ever tried. From the website: niacinamide is supposed “to enhance skin clarity, perfect pores over time, and boost overall skin health.” And I’ll be a son of a bitch if it didn’t work. I was actually shocked. I’ve since repurchased and hope that it won’t stop working like The Ordinary’s stuff usually does for me.

Mario Badescu Rose Facial Spray: Unless you’re new, you should already know how much I love this face spray. And will continue to repurchase when needed.

Burt’s Bees Micellar Water: Not great. It removed all the face makeup, but struggled a bit with eye makeup. It only stung my eyes a titch, unlike most micellar waters do, which is why I didn’t set it on fire before using it as a Molotov Cocktail at my Lord of the Flies neighbors. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find a cruelty free option that works, and doesn’t hurt.

ELF Nourishing Night Cream: This was okay. I wanted to switch up from the Formula 10.0.6 because my skin has been feeling more dry when I wake up (and long before the cold air started rolling in). This ended up feeling the same. And it’s a little pricey for ELF, if you ask me. Which you didn’t, but then why are you here reading all my opinions if you don’t care??

Formula 10.0.6 PM Perfector Night Cream: I’d been using this for a long time, but recently my skin has been feeling dryer in the morning so I don’t think it’s working well for me anymore. On the hunt for new stuff.

Formula 10.0.6 Day Cream: I still enjoy this a lot and will continue to use!

Notoriously Morbid’s Slumber Salve in Hesperides: This scent in no longer on the website but this product in general has to be some of THE best lip balm/salve I’ve ever tried. I put it on at night and, about 97% of the time, I wake up and some is still on. My lips feel so soft and protected. If you get the chance, check this stuff out for yourself.

GEE YOUR HAIR SMELLS TERRIFIC

RenPure Coconut Cream Nourishing Shampoo: I got this at Target, but this particular coconut line has to be bought on-line, apparently. It was a really nice moisturizing shampoo. With my hair being bleached now, I need extra moisture. Smelled nice, not too much coconut, hint of floral, and made my hair feel soft. But I get bored easily, as does my hair, so we’ve swiched it up. I still recommend this, though.

Paul Mitchell Lavender Mint Moisturizing Shampoo and Conditioner: And this is what I’ve switched to. It is phenomenal! I usually go three days (sometimes four) between hair washing, so dry shampoo is my friend. But even with that, my hair still feels so damn soft. Sometimes I just put dry shampoo or some kind of texture spray on so I can keep a ponytail or braid in. It’s magic! And it smells fantastic.

Marc Anthony Deep Repair Aloe Vera Jasmine Conditioning Treatment: Sweet baby jeebus I love this stuff. I only use it 2-3 times a month and I can get three uses from one packet. It really helps moisturize my hair, make it feel super soft, and the smell is out of this world. But then again, I love the smell of Jasmine. And it’s only $3 a packet. Yaaaasss.

L’Occitane Lemon Verbena Shampoo and Conditioner: Got this in a hotel room out in Jackson Hole, WY, while on vacation. And while it smells really nice, you have to use SO MUCH product to get it to work, and even then it’s not great stuff. Do not recommend. Doesn’t look like it’s available on their site anyway.

Hask Unwined Dry Shampoo in Rose Wine: This worked all right, but the smell was pretty heavy. Looks like just the White Wine option is available anyway.

Hask Argan from Morocco Dry Shampoo: This one worked better than the wine version, and it smells so much nicer.

Marc Anthony Argan Oil Hairspray: I still love this stuff. Not a heavy duty holding spray, but it can be piled on to work like one. The smell used to be softer, more like straight argan oil, but now it smells more like hairspray, does that make sense? I still like it, though!

DEBRIS

MBA Cosmetics Body Wash in Seaside Escape: This was a decent body wash. The smell was really nice, very unisex leaning on floral. It didn’t foam up that much, which is sometimes good (the stuff that makes soaps foam is drying to the skin) but that means I used a lot more of it than other washes. This is from an Etsy store and the owner doesn’t make body wash anymore.

Tom’s of Main Rapid Relief Sensitive Toothpaste: Been buying this for years. It’s the only sensitive toothpaste that doesn’t make my mouth peel. Yes, that’s weird, but a small percentage of us deal with that side effect with other sensitivity toothpastes. This stuff works just as well as any other brand. Most of the time I can find this WITH fluoride, which I prefer, but I’ll take what I can get.

Whew! All righty, that’s it for 2019. See you all next year with more trash talk. Hardee har har.

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs 2019 Year End

I’ve had my empties and other products sitting in my office, waiting on me to get my shit together and start reviewing, for over a week! Gah, I hate year end madness and my general laziness…

Anyway, let’s get into the final PDs, MEHs, and GFYs for the year 2019.

PDs (Panty Droppers)

Colourpop Super Shock Cheek in Rain: This lasted FOREVER - I tried to pan it, but just couldn’t get there. It did finally start to dry out, so I have to get rid of it. But the color is soft and gorgeous, and it doesn’t look like my John was keeping his pimp hand strong when I get out of line. They don’t have the purple color anymore (cries softly) but they have a lot of gorgeous shades.

Milani Eye Shadow Primer: This is the best shadow primer for me. I’ve tried a bunch of others, but nothing compares to this (cue Sinead O’Connor). I didn’t quite finish it up because it takes such a small amount to work, but it was getting dry and not working as well. I have since repurchased.

Merchant of Galifry Lip Balm in Cassian scent: Got this from Etsy and it was a great lip balm. Again, I didn’t finish it up in time before the texture started to change and the smell went a little off. The store doesn’t make lip balms anymore, unfortunately.

Joah Truly Yours Liquid Foundation in Ivory: This is a BEAUTIFUL foundation. Light to medium coverage, looks so nice on the skin. Doesn’t look like a mask, very natural, even gives a bit of a glow/dewy look. But the color changed - it’s way too dark now - even though I haven’t even had it a year. So if you get this, be sure to use it up quickly. They did come out with a couple lighter colors, so now I have Porcelain. Fingers crossed it doesn’t darken!

Lunatick Cosmetic Labs Supernatural Eye Shadow Palette: I found this at a horror convention back in 2016, I think. I’ve already posted about their lipstick in Lacrimosa that was one of my favorites. This is a gorgeous palette, colors are pigmented, and perform well. But they are super soft and one broke on me - so don’t travel with them! But now that it’s been 3 years, the texture has changed a bit and they don’t perform well, which happens to us all when we get old, amirite?

MEHs (just what it says)

Ulta Brow Tint in Medium: I used to love this brow gel, but I think they changed the formula or I got an off container. The gel is very gloppy and hard to work with. The color is awesome and the hold was great. I don’t have a lot of brow hairs, though what I’ve got appreciated this. But now I can’t seem to use it anymore. *le sigh*

Essence Make Me Brow in Browny Brow: See above. But it’s $3. If you have thicker brows than I do (which is EVERYONE), this could work just fine.

Covergirl Exhibitionist Mascara: Now that CG is cruelty free (HOORAY!) I thought I’d try this mascara that everyone and their Aunt Flo has their panties in a twist over. It’s…really nothing special. It gives a soft natural look, darkens the lashes nicely, and I love the brush. But do I need to shout from the mountaintops that it changed my life? Uh…no.

Colourpop Super Shock Shadow in Baby Talk: I got this thinking it was going to be a rich red color but it’s a pink/magenta. It’s gorgeous, but not what I expected (if I had read the color description, I wouldn’t have been surprised - DOH). Also, it’s already dried up, and I never even got to his pan on it. Gah.

Revolution (formerly Makeup Revolution) Fast Base Concealer in C4: It’s a decent concealer, helped a bit with the purple under my eyes, and I liked that it matched my skin tone perfectly. But it does end up looking a little dry after a while. I also think the color darkened a bit (like the Joah foundation did). Not terrible, but not my favorite.

GFYs (Go Fuck Yourselves)



Essence Eyebrow Pen in Dark Brown: THIS IS SOME SERIOUS BULLSHIT. This is one of those brow markers that has the jagged tip, to make drawing several hair shapes at once easier. And when I tried it on my right brow, it was brilliant! I couldn’t believe it! So I went to draw on the left eyebrow….and the pen was dried out. NOT FUCKING KIDDING. I practically had to scratch my skin off to get any color out of it after using it ONE FUCKING TIME. It could be that I got a dud so I did purchase another, but I’m terrified to try it because I’ll only get one use! This is too fucking stressful, Essence. Get your shit together. Just because you’re inexpensive, shouldn’t mean your products end up in the shit pile.

Joah Wand Me Up Concealer in Fair: Completely useless. I’d dab product under my eye, blend it out, and it disappeared. I tried to build it up. Nothing. I don’t get it. Is there invisible ink in it or something? Total waste of money.

ELF Jelly Pop Flush Blush in Berry Pop: At first, I had this under the MEHs, but the more I thought about it, and retested it, this product is terrible. It’s hard to blend, and looks so patchy on the skin. When you slather it on the back of your hand for a swatch, the color is super pretty. But it’s just way too difficult to work with on the face and seriously, there are so many other cream or liquid blushes out there that work so much better. Fuck this noise.

So that wraps it up for this year. I look forward to 2020 and all the goodness, fun, and fiery rage new products will be offering. Hope you all have a wonderful remaining 2019!

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs June 2019

Surprisingly this month, I have fewer duds than goodies. Huh. Not sure I like this turn of events…Anyway, here are some products I’ve really enjoyed, felt indifferent toward, or just plain hated. Hope you like it!

(For those of you who are new here, PD - Panty Droppers; MEH - meh; GFY - Go Fuck Yourself)

PDs

Makeup Geek Gel Liner in Poison: This was the first red gel eyeliner I ever used. I had this thing for YEARS and it wouldn’t dry out! Great color, did not budge, didn’t make my eyes look like I was sick, either. Red and pinks can do that… It did finally dry up, though, so it was too difficult to use. Highly recommend this product! But…it looks like MG doesn’t make gel liners anymore. GAH!

Catrice Prime and Fine Smoothing Primer: I loved this primer. It really smooths out the appearance of my Nebraska-sized pores, and the texture is almost like a mousse. Feels great on the skin, more like a moisturizer.

Colourpop Lip Gloss in Fairy Floss: My absolute favorite nude gloss ever. Unfortunately, after years of faithful service, it now tingles when I put it on. That’s less than optimal, so I gotta toss it. I’ve already ordered a replacement.

MEH

NYX Worth the Hype Mascara: It’s not. It does make the lashes look darker, but more natural and not a lot of volume. I don’t mind that, but this doesn’t do what it says.

Colourpop Brow Boss Gel: I don’t really get this product. It’s white and feels like lotion, which doesn’t really do much for keeping rogue brow hairs in place. But because it’s not tinted, it’s less messy to work with, which is nice.

Bobbi Brown Illuminating Moisture Balm: I love the glow this stuff gives - so pretty. But the smell is horrendous! Very much like chemicals and plastic. UGH.

Katy Perry x Covergirl Katy Kat Lip Gloss in Cobalt Kitty: I originally posted about this a while ago because I thought it was such a fun color. And it is! But it’s streaky and difficult to work with. Very patchy, low pigment, and wearing it over a lip liner or another lip product doesn’t help.

GFY

ELF Velvet Touch Eye Shadow in Island Breeze: I got this little palette free with an order from ELF. And now I know why. They probably can’t get rid of these fast enough. The colors look pretty but they pigment is just not there. You can’t build them up and what goes on the lids does NOT last. The high moisture content is disgusting. The plastic package had smears of something wet on it - I’m hoping just the water or oils from the shadows themselves. They feel mushy and the peach shade was very wet. Blech.

Colourpop Jelly Much Shadow in Hallucinogenius: I really liked this stuff at first. It was squishy, like a jelly, but the color and sparkle were so pretty. But I only used this stuff two or three times, and I made sure the little pot was closed tightly after every use. But this stuff is dry and hard now, and all I get is a little sparkle on my finger. WHAT THE FUCK?

That’s it for this month. See you guys down the road!

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs March 2019

Welcome to the first Likes/Dislikes post of 2019! For anyone new, this is a post where I sing the praises, or bitch like a curmudgeonly old biddy, about products I’ve tried over the past few months. The categories are: Panty Droppers, Mehs, and Go Fuck Yourselves.

PDs

The Potion Cabinet Shower Gel (Witch’s Cold Brew): This is an Etsy story that offers bath products, collectibles, and more. This scent is listed as: a warm cup of espresso, cocoa bean, steamed milk and vanilla chai topped with whipped cream and a touch of rum. Mostly, I only smelled the vanilla and rum, maybe a little bit of the cocoa. IT WAS HEAVENLY. I like the gel itself - leaves my skin soft and the scent doesn’t linger, which I prefer.

Merchant of Gallifry Roll-on Fragrance: Another Etsy store (yes, I’m addicted) but it looks like they don’t make perfumes anymore. There is a bunch of scented stuff, though. Loved this perfume. I believe the notes were mango and rose but I couldn’t necessarily pick out either. They melded together wonderfully for a very unique scent.

Milani Retouch and Erase Light-Lifting Concealer: I haven’t used this up, but it’s really old, and I think it’s starting to turn. It’s a fantastic concealer for me. My under eyes are much dryer now than when I was younger, and this is one of the only concealers that doesn’t look like total shit on me. Will be repurchasing.

Carol’s Daughter Frappe Body Lotion (Almond Cookie): I’ve used Carol’s Daughter’s hair products before (which SUCK ASS) so I almost didn’t get this. I needed a body lotion that worked better than what I already had (see the MEHs section below) and the scent on this is fantastic! Smells like straight up, fresh baked almond cookies. And the lotion is nice and thick, but absorbs quickly and lasts a long time. Highly recommend!!

MEHs

PUR Fully Charged Magnetic Mascara: This does give good volume, but no length, so my lashes look stubby. It’s a great layering mascara, though! Not sure how it’s anti-aging…what the fuck? Who believes that kind of shit?

Flower Beauty Light Illusion Full Coverage Concealer: While this is a good shade (it’s just about the same color as my skin so it blends in well) and it’s lightweight, it’s definitely not full coverage. It’s also not crease-proof, looks SUPER dry under my eyes and anywhere I use it to cover blemishes or spots.

Everyone Body Lotion (Lavender & Aloe): While the scent on this is really nice (great to use before bedtime,) it doesn’t seem to really moisturize my skin. Absorbs fast - or maybe it just poofs off into the ether - because my skin doesn’t fell any different after using it. It also says you can use it for face, hands, and body. Um…no. No, you can’t. This is NOT good for the face.

GFYs

Colourpop BFF Mascara: Now, anyone who’s been here a while, knows I love Colourpop. I did a whole review on a bunch of products HERE. So when they came out with mascaras, I was pumped. I got a red and black one (so far, I don’t know of any other brand that makes a red mascara.) I can only speak to the red for this review because I tried that and REFUSE TO EVEN LOOK AT THE BLACK. This shit fucked up my eyes for two days. They itched, swelled up (not to the point of impairing my vision, though), and produced excessive amounts of goop. Fucking what the fuck, Colourpop? People were reviewing this like it was the Second Cumming of Christ, and even if it wasn’t for my bad reaction, the mascara itself is pretty lame. Doesn’t volumize or lengthen or ANYTHING. Fucking useless shite.

Joah Eye Scream Volume & Lengthening Mascara: I’ve only tried a couple of products from Joah (lipstick, eyebrow pencil, and this - I think.) It’s a hit and miss brand, but this stuff was HORRIBLE. It’s a fiber mascara that does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for the lashes. However, it DOES get onto your eyeballs and poke the fucking shit out of them. Eye Scream is a pretty accurate description. So…there’s that. Fuck you, Joah.

That’s it for this (what I hope will be) quarterly report of awesome and suckage. See you next time!

Morgue Drawer End of 2018

Finally getting around to writing up this post so I can throw all my garbage away! For those who don’t know, I write up a quick little review of products I’ve used up over the past months to give you a better idea how things worked, or didn’t, for me. Hopefully a little more in-depth than the PDs, MEHs, and GFYs, because some of that shit made me so angry that I tried to burn it all after the first use.

So here we go, wrapping up 2018, by taking a stroll through my trash. Enjoy!

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMP SHADE

H20+ Oasis Hydrating Treatment: Really nice moisturizer. I love a good gel formula, and it worked well for my skin. But this brand is way too pricey for me!

Pacifica Cactus Revive Face Wash: Meh. The smell was nice but the texture was so runny, it made a mess all over the cap and tube. As I got closer to the end of the tube, the product got grittier, which is bizarre. I didn’t finish it off before throwing it away. (And they don’t sell this one anymore….of course, they don’t.)

Elisha Coy Moist Up Super Hyalurone Ampoule Serum: I really like this serum. Smells good, absorbs well, and it might be a little better than The Ordinary Buffet serum (which stays tacky on the skin and recently started breaking me out.) I got mine at CVS, but it’s not always in stock.

Formula 10.0.6 So Totally Clean Micellar Water: Not a good product. Burns the eyes like hell, and it doesn’t remove all makeup. Skin didn’t really feel clean after using it.

Soap & Glory Fab Pore Purifying Foam Cleanser: I really liked this. Smelled nice and clean, if that makes sense. Worked great until I got to the last inch or so in the bottle. Then it didn’t seem to work as well, plus the pump on the bottle broke.

The Body Shop Aloe Cream Cleanser: Loved this. Gentle cream cleanser and no heavy smell.

Mario Badescu Rose Facial Spray: I still enjoy this, though just recently I watched a review about how this isn’t as great for the skin as other sprays because of the dyes and filler ingredients. Dammit.

The Ordinary Squalene Face Oil: My skin loves this stuff so much better than rose hip oil, which spoils much quicker and remains heavy on the skin. Squalene absorbs fast, and has no smell!

Nip & Fab Moisturizer: This was decent but smelled a little too heavy of sunscreen. (this is no longer available.)

Derma E Rose Cleansing Oil: Smells nice but didn’t do a good job of cleaning off anything.

Ariul Bamboo Water Mask: LOVED this. Super soft mask and my skin felt great, even the next day. I want to get all 7 days worth of them.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Cream: Still my go-to moisturizers.

DEBRIS

Mitchum Gel Deoderant: Pretty good, but the gel took FOREVER to dry, and still left white marks. Trying the solid sticks now, and I like those so much better.

Giovanni 2Chic Intensive Hair Mask: Loved this mask/heavy conditioner. Super thick and really helped my bleached hair look smooth, and feel soft. I can’t find the Ultra-Repair one anymore, just the regular Repair. Still works well, just not as thick.

Marc Anthony Argan Oil Hair Spray: Still love this stuff. Smell is really nice, and it’s just a soft hold hairspray, which I enjoy.

Maui Moisture Heal and Hydrate Hair Mask: This was almost as good as the Giovanni stuff. Smelled fantastic! The tub is a bit messy, though.

Tom’s of Main Maximum Sensitivity Toothpaste: Still love this stuff; only sensitive toothpaste that works for me. I usually get mine at Meijers or Vitamin Shoppe.

Purple Cat Apothecary Body Butter (Winter Rose): I like the texture of the body butter, but the scent on this was too heavy with honey and very little rose. (Store no longer exists.)

ZOMG Smells Perfumes (Lola’s New Dress and Hyang-Su): I love so many of the scents I’ve purchased from this store. These got too old and started to smell more like alcohol, so I had to get rid of them. Sugar Dragon is one of my favorite scents!

Lavanila Pure Vanilla Perfume: THE BEST VANILLA PERFUME EVAR!!!

BEAT THAT MUG

NYX Vivid Liner (Silver): So much fun! But like their Vinyls liners, this dried out so fast. I’d be willing to get it again, but they no longer sell this shade. Fuck me.

Babyganics Face/Hand/Baby Wipes: I get these at my local Value Center super market, but looks like you can get them at Target, too. They are great for wiping off swatches, clearing eye shadow fall out on my cheeks, or a quick clean of my hands before starting makeup application. No scent, which is really nice.

Catrice Prime & Fine Multitalent Fixing Spray: I LOVE THIS SETTING SPRAY. Gives my face a nice glow and melds with my highlighter beautifully, which I love. Been wanting to try their glowy version (how much more shiny can I get??) but it’s always sold out!

ELF Lip Exfoliator (pink grapefruit): This is a great exfoliator in a non-messy package/delivery system. This one just got too old before I could use it up.

Milani Lip Gloss: This was one of my favorite lip glosses. It’s so old, though, that the name is worn off, and Milani doesn’t make it anymore. Sheer pink with gold shimmer. Absolutely gorgeous. Smelled like candy, too! But it finally went “off” so I had to toss it.

Tarte Smooth Operator Finishing Powder: This was perfect for setting my under eye concealer. Finely milled, it never looked heavy or cakey. Took me forever to get through this little sample!

Urban Decay Primer Potion: Meh. Not sure why everyone loves this eye primer so much. It’s kinda dry, and doesn’t work any better than any drug store, lower cost one (like Milani.)

Ulta Brow Tint: Love this product, but this shade was a bit light for me. Will get the dark brown when I use up another one I’ve got open now.

Tarte Lights Camera Lashes Mascara: Still one of my favorite mascara formulas of all time. But it will either come in a mini like this, or will go on sale. Never buy this at full price!

Catrice Pret-a-Volume Mascara: It was…okay. More natural looking than volume boosting. Which is fine but not what it advertises. Not sure if the link I put is to the exact same mascara, but looks close enough.

Essence Precise Eyeliner Brush: I love these. Super thin so you can get a precise line with any kind of medium (gel, powder, etc.) They’re $2. I have three back ups right now.

All righty. That’s it for 2018. Hope to see you all next year!

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs 2018 Year End

Again…gah. I haven’t done one of these for MONTHS, but I hope to get back into a regular schedule for 2019. For those who are new, instead of doing the generic “Likes and Dislikes” or “Fails and Favorites,” I call my list of crap I liked and hated as “Panty Droppers, Mehs, and Go Fuck Yourselves.”

Enjoy.

PDs

Tarte Rainforest of the Sea Foundation: I don’t usually spend my money on high-end makeup. Tarte is the exception. I prefer light coverage foundations, if I wear them at all, and this is perfection. It lasts all day on me and looks as good at the end of the day, as it did after first application. I had to get a new bottle, though, because my previous one expired before I could use it up. Right now I have Fair-Light Neutral, but I probably could switch to Fair Beige (they came out with a few new shades since I first bought it.)

Stila Huge Extreme Lash Mascara: I got this as a sample in one of my Ulta orders this year. And I didn’t want to like it because Stila is one of those high-end brands. But DAMMIT! This stuff makes my lashes look long, thick (rowr) and gorgeous.

A’Pieu Finger Blusher: This came in a 3B subscription bag (aaaaaages ago.) I can’t believe how long it lasted. The smell just started to go off, so I had to toss it. But if I can find this again, I would repurchase. Perfect cream blush - blends out beautifully, and the peach shade I had was very natural. One of the best blushers I’ve ever used. I don’t think they make it anymore, but YesStyle has a ton of A’Pieu products, so maybe one of the blushes in there will work as well…?

Lunatik Cosmetic Labs Lipstick in Lacrimosa: This has been one of my favorite shades of lipstick in a long time. The description from their website: Lacrimosa is a translucent shade with a pink hue packed with a kaleidoscope of color shifting sparkles. I got it back in 2014, I think, at a convention. Unfortunately, the bullet completely dried up and it’s now impossible to get any pigment out of it. Which makes me incredibly sad. So I guess I’ll have to go get another one!

I forgot to include these babies in the PDs pic above, so they’ll get special treatment. I know a lot of people don’t like the metallic lip look, because it makes the lips appear older/aged. Personally, I don’t care. I love how shiny the Metal Shock is (shade: Mercury,) and the Vibrant Shock (shade: Nightstalker) is just a gorgeous shock of color. Obvi.

The Vibrant Shock seems a teeny streaky at first, but you can definitely work with it to look just fine on the lips. These do dry down, but don’t become transfer proof. They’re just a titch sticky, but not the “sweet baby Jesus it’s gonna be 10 minutes before my lips separate!” kind of sticky.

MEHs

Wet n Wild Tour & Tease Lip Balm: It’s a nice soft wash of color, but sooooo drying. This might be one of those multi-use products (lips and cheeks) and, if so, that explains the dryness. Never has any dual product felt nice on either part of the face. Blech.

The Ordinary Serum Foundation: I love the thin consistency and light coverage; the shade is pretty good, too. But it makes my skin look like a 4000-year old papyrus notebook found in some Egyptian angsty teenager’s sarcophagus. Ugh.

BH Cosmetics Naturally Flawless Foundation: Really good coverage and a nice shade. But, again, makes my skin look super dry, and my pores appear the size of Iowa. Ah….no thanks.

Catrice Glam and Doll False Lashes Waterproof Mascara: I wanted to try the waterproof version of this because the regular version makes my lashes so long, the product transfers all over the damn place. This isn’t quite that good, PLUS it’s nearly impossible to remove. Hence, the reason I rarely wear waterproof makeup.

Essence Lash Princess Sculpted Volume Mascara: I love the original one (pink details) but this was just okay. The real problem is that it’s thick and gloopy, and never really dries out enough to be more controllable. Too bad.

GFYs

Notoriously Morbid Jinxed Jewels Liquid Eyeshadow in Tempting Devils: I got this little guy in the NM Halloween Advent Calendar. This shit is terrible. They say it can be worn on its own, layered, or over an eye shadow. I tried both, and it looked like hammered shit both times. Completely creased and crumbled off my eye after a few hours. I tried it more than once, just in case I layered it too heavily or not enough. Nope. Fucking awful product. (This is not for individual sale on the site.)

Notoriously Morbid Cosmic Gloss in Brooding Vampires: I’m specifically talking about the Brooding Vampires shade, which I also got in the Advent Calendar (I only took the pic of it with the Smoke & Fire shade to compare they came in the same full size container, but sure as FUCK don’t contain the same amount of product. The sticker may say 2 mls, but you can clearly see the base of the twist up tube is much higher on BV than on S&F. I only twisted the BV tube enough to get the product out - I haven’t worn this shade at all.) Brooding Vampires just came out of the tube as slightly tinted gloop. It never mixed with the base oils so I really don’t know what color this is supposed to be. Weak, and a little shifty on the packaging, NM. (For some reason, there are no links to get their Cosmic Gloss on the site - not sure what’s up with that because the Smoke & Fire shade is phenomenal.)

Tarte Aqua Concealer: Imagine my surprise when the concealer, in the same line as the foundation I love, makes my under eyes look dryer than a dust covered shelf in a long abandoned castle from the 18th century. Fuck you, Aqua concealer, you lying bitch.

Colourpop No Filter Concealer: See above, sans the corresponding foundation comment. (Full disclosure: I could have sworn they had regular and matte concealer, but all that’s listed on the site is matte - so that would explain the dryness.)

RK Extend Illusion Mascara: At first, I kind of liked this. But the more I wore it, the more I realized it was a tubing mascara, and those little fuckers shed INTO MY EYE BALLS. Fuck that noise. (I can’t find any place that sells this now so…there you go.)

NYX Matte Lip Cream (Moscow): I normally love these, but this particular color is patchy, hard to work with, and gets crumbly as it dries. Which explains why it’s not even for sale on the NYX website. At least they recognize when something sucks.

NYX Strictly Vinyl Liquid Eye Liners: So disappointed in this. I used the red shade once, and it was pretty cool. A few months later, went to use it again, and it was completely dried out. I bought a new bottle, the brown shade this time, and it was almost all dried up when I used it for the first time. Da fuck, NYX?

Catrice HD Liquid Coverage Precision Concealer: You know what this shit covers? Abso-fucking-lutely NADA. I appreciate the applicator design. I need to put concealer in a small, specific spot under my eyes or it becomes a shit show real fast. However, this all just blended away, but it left enough product behind to make my under eyes look like the Sahara. Fuck off, Catrice, you hit-but-mostly-miss beeyotch.

That’s it for 2018! See you on the other side, Ray.