The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Filtering by Tag: Formula 10.0.6

MORGUE DRAWER December 2020

Reviewing garbage is just so appropriate right now. Used to feel kinda weird, but now that 2020 is coming to a close, it’s more fitting than ever.

Let’s take a look at all the stuff I used up over the past few months!

BEAT THAT MUG

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Notoriously Morbid Slumber Salve: I can’t remember the flavor/scent on this one but this stuff is awesome. It actually stays on overnight and my lips feel so soft in the morning. I really need to get more…

Essence Lash Princess Volume Mascara: I don’t enjoy the other formulas in this line, just the OG Volume. Really great at volumizing and separating my lashes. I love the bristle brush, too. I think this particular tube was a little clumpy, though.

Dionis Goat Milk Lip Balm: Pretty good balm. I think I have one more, in a different flavor, to try, so we’ll see if they’re consistent quality (looks like they may have changed the scent formula - Peppermint Twist is the name now).

Crazy Rumors Lip Balm: This one ended up being terrible. It dried out my lips the more I used it.

Medusa’s Makup Rage Against the Bean Lip Balm: Very good lip balm, wonderful vanilla scent. Would definitely buy again. This looks like it might be an old formula (there are new balms with new packaging on the site) so this is on mega sale right now.

Tarte Sex Kitten Eye Liner: This is a great eyeliner. Very black, and doesn’t smudge or move all day. It’s probably one of the few liners that actually stays on my waterline, too.

Milani Highly Rated Mascara: It’s…okay. It works better as a layering mascara, not so great on its own.

LIKE BUTTAH

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Carol’s Daughter Almond Cookie Frappe Body Lotion: HOLY AMAZEBALLS. This stuff is a great moisturizer AND the scent is straight up almond cookie. It’s aweoms.

Nature’s Truth Sweet Almond Oil: I get this stuff at Meijers. Great base oil to mix with essential oils or scent oils to make you own…whatever!

Theme Creme Screaming Lambs: I can’t remember if the name of the shope is Theme Creme, or that’s the line. But I met the owner at a local horror con a few years ago and bought 3 jars. This one has ingredients that help with sore muscles and bruising (a strong clove scent). And it was really great, as are the other 2. The only problem is that when this gets warm, the beeswax beads resolidify so there are a bunch of little wax beads in the lotion that take a while to remelt against the skin. Otherwise, I loved this stuff, but I don’t know where to buy it.

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMP SHADE

Formula 10.0.6 Picture Perfect Day Cream with SPF 15: Staple moisturizer. Will continue to repurchase (though with the winter months upon us, I’ve been adding in a facial oil with it).

ELF Happy Hydration Cream: Nice, and I liked that it had no scent.

The SAEM Baobab Collagen Cream: I really liked this but the company is not cruelty free so will not repurchase. I can only find this on Amazon and Ebay (as opposed to Asian beauty websites) so not sure if they still make it or it’s being phased out.

Fourth Ray Beauty BFD Cleansing Oil: Since cleansing balms now bother my eyes, I’ve turned to oils. This is a really nice one.

The SAEM Green Tea Cleansing Water: It was okay. Not great, but not the worst.

Mad Hippie Cream Cleanser: This is a new brand to me, and this cleanser is fantastic. Already repurchased.

Mario Badescu Rose Facial Spray: Staple face mist. Will continue to repurchase.

TN Dickinson’s Witch Hazel: This was fine but the scent was a little off-putting (the natural scent of witch hazel is very earthy). I got a different brand now and it does NOT have a scent like this one at all.

Formula 10.0.6 Berry Fresh Balancing Mud Mask: Good, but I didn’t use it up fast enough. Had to pitch it. Also it doesn’t look like they make this one anymore.

Look At Me Sweet Honey Sheet Mask: This was awesome. Good scent, good serum, and my skin felt great the next day. I got mine in my Facetory subsription but you can get this at YesStyle.

The Ordinary Niacinamide Serum: My skin loves this serum so I will keep buying it. Eventually, my skin acclimates and rebels, but if I just switch it out for the Fourth Ray version (and go back and forth between those two brands), it’s fine.

Fourth Ray Beauty Reveal AHA Serum: Really enjoyed this and it smells great.

Fourth Ray Beauty Papaya Face Milk: My skin loves this particular face milk (I’ve tried other and my face ain’t having it). Smells like papaya candy and my skin actually gets a nice glow from it (hubby even commented one day about it).

Good Molecules Niacinamide Serum: This is okay. My skin doesn’t like it as much as the Ordinary or Fourth Ray Beauty. You’d think they’d all mostly be the same but nope.

GEE, YOUR HAIR SMELLS TERRIFIC

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Hask Coconut Dry Shampoo: Works pretty well, and the coconut scent isn’t TOO overpowering.

Hask Unwined Dry Shampoo: This also works pretty well, but the scent is very very strong. Won’t be getting this one again. Can’t find this particular dry shampoo anymore (they have regular shampoo in this line, though).

DEBRIS

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Tippy Toes Baby Wipes: I use these to wipe off swatches or my hands. I will use wipes to clean up fall out under my eyes, but always have to apply a face oil afterwards. No matter how gentle the brand says it is, it’s always a bit drying on the face. The scent on these is awful, though. Maybe their unscented ones are better…?

Apagard Nano-Hydroxyapetite Toothpaste: I wanted to see if this stuff actually works. NAHA is an ingredient, created by NASA and sold to Japan, that helps build enamel in your teeth from the inside out (as opposed to fluoride which helps on the outer layer of the teeth). You can look up scientific papers on-line about it and why NASA created it, but Japan has been using it in their dental care since 1970 (I believe). And I’ll be damned if this stuff doesn’t work. My teeth are sensitive and if I don’t use sensitive toothpaste, they hurt like hell. NAHA helps with sensitivity by repairing micro-scratches or breeches in your enamel so now I don’t need sensitive specific toothpaste. How fucking cool is that?

Tom’s of Main Sensitive Toothpaste: This is what I used before I found that Apagard stuff (I’m also trying the Boka brand with the NAHA since I won’t want to have to wait to get the paste from Japan). It’s great stuff.

Native Natural Deodorants: Natural deodorants don’t work on me - and these are no exception. They actually make me sweat more. But I wanted to try this brand because so many people were singing its praises (and I got a coupon). So…yeah. Total bust. But it’s fine if I’m staying at home and not overexerting myself with anything. They smell really nice, too.


All righty. That wraps up my trash for 2020. Fingers crossed that 2021 will only have me talking about literal garbage instead of metaphorical.

fingers crossed dr horrible.gif


Morgue Drawer April 2020

Who wants to trash talk? And by that I mean talk about my garbage, not bad mouth and gossip about bullshit and politics.

For the newbs, this is the post where I talk about all the products I’ve used up over the past few months. AKA empties. Let’s take a look!

BEAT THAT MUG

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Colourpop Super Shock Shadow in Puppy Love: This was a limited edition shade for a fundraiser CP had. It supported dog rescue efforts so OF COURSE I had to buy it. It was a lovely, soft peach shade. Great for a simple, one-color-all-over look. I had it for years but it’s finally dried out. *WAAAAAH*

NYX Pore Filler Face Primer: This is one of those cream colored primers that blur the appearance of pores. This does work pretty well, but it can look a little dry. I probably won’t get it again.

Catrice Multi-Talent Fixing Spray: I love this stuff. It works great at sealing in my makeup, and it gives my skin a gorgeous glow (think shiny but not greasy or metallic). They have a Dewy and Glow version but I don’t think that one gives any better effect than this one. Personal choice, I guess!

So many mascaras…

Covergirl Clump Crusher: I used to love this before I went cruelty free a few years ago. But now that CG is cruelty free (HOORAY!), I bought this again. Unfortunately, it’s not as good as I remember. Doesn’t give much length or volume. It does separate the lashes nicely, but it works better if you layer it with something else.

The Balm Mad Lash: Love love love this mascara! Great at lengthening and adding volume. I usually don’t buy it because it’s $18. But as of my typing this, there’s a flash sale of 50% at the site. WHOOP! I hope that doesn’t mean they’re discontinuing it and are getting rid of stock…

Buxom Volumizing Mascara: I think this is the volumizing one. There’s no indication on the sample tube but it looks like the one on the Buxom website. It was…okay. Better as a layering mascara.

Medusa’s Makeup Witch Lash: This is great stuff. Not for volume; okay for lengthening. But if you combine it with a mascara that transfers or smudges, the Witch Lash will stop it from doing that. I don’t know how - this is not the waterproof version. It’s MAGIC. (the link goes to the Twilight Blue color because I can’t find the black one - they may not make it anymore. SON OF A BI-)

Tarte Lights Camera Lashes: One of my favorite mascaras of all time. But I only buy it on sale because $23 for a tube of mascara is fucking nuts. But Ulta has it on sale a few times a year; sometimes Tarte will run a promotion.

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMPSHADE

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Mario Badescu Rose Facial Spray: Been using this for years. Still love it.

The Ordinary Niacinamide Zinc Serum: Niacinamide is the one ingredient that’s made a visible difference in my skin care routine. It’s supposed to minimize the appearance of pores and gods damn, it really does. I’ve used this one and the Fourth Ray Beauty one (Colourpop’s skin care line). Both are equally effective. I’ve heard some YouTubers say the 10% concentration is too low for more mature skin, but I call bullshit. I only started using this last year, when I was 49 (or maybe even after I turned 50) and it worked great for me. I switch between brands because my skin does acclimate after a while, but I’ve had no issues with either CP or The Ordinary.

The Ordinary HA Moisturizer: This was just an ordinary (no pun intended) moisturizer. Didn’t do anything special. Since there’s no SPF in, I used it at night. But either way, it wasn’t all that. I’ve learned that hyaluronic acid doesn’t really do anything for my skin.

Context Vitamin C Eye Cream: I think I got this in an Ipsy bag about 100 years ago. It’s a thin, gel-like cream. It’s fine but doesn’t really DO anything. Plus it’s old so it’s gotta go.

Formula 10.0.6 Day Cream: Been using this for years. Still love it.

ELF Gentle Peeling Gel: I technically haven’t used this up but the pump broke, so I just put the product in a squeeze tube. I love peeling gels. I don’t know why, but they are really nice gentle exfoliators. This one is nice.

Pacifica Cherry Lava Purify Mask: This was a decent mask. Smelled like cherries, so it was right up my alley. But it’s gotten old and the last time I used it, it broke me out. Oh well. (Pacifica no longer makes it so I can’t, in good conscience, link you to an Amazon store that sells it for almost $30, when Pacifica sold it for around $12-15).

Formula 10.0.6 Deep Down Detox Mud Mask: I adore this mask. Clay/mud mask products work very well on my skin. If I’ve got some stubborn breakouts, I use this and almost overnight, they’re gone or on their way out. Love the smell (orange), too. But it’s gotten old, just like the Pacifica one, and broke me out last time I used it. For some reason it’s labeled as PREORDER of the Formula 10.0.6 website so…not sure what that’s about.

Look At Me Watermelon Face Mask: It’s been a while since I used this but if I remember correctly, I loved this. It smells fantastic, and my skin felt great the next day. And no breakouts! (I got this and the charcoal one through MyFaceTory subscription and they now have a store front!)

Naisture Charcoal Face Mask: I loved the feel of the cotton mask itself - very soft. I don’t think the smell was anything to write home about but my skin loved it.

SQUEAKY CLEAN

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Babyganic Baby Wipes: I used to get these at my grocery store. But they don’t carry them anymore. You can find these at a bunch of other places, though, like CVS, Meijer, Target, Kroger, Walmart. They’re ERRWHERE.

The Potion Cabinet Shower Gel in Flesh Squeezed Virgin Blood (aka Black Cherry): I love the shower gels from this Etsy store. And this smelled like tart cherry candy, actually. But the scent doesn’t linger on the skin to compete with any other scented products you might use. The gel itself is great and makes my skin feel really soft. Highly recommend any scent of theirs (right now looks like this scent is out of stock).

Beauty of Joseon Cleansing Balm: I got this is my Daebak box and though it’s a sample, I got two uses out of it. The first time was great but the second, when I really worked it on my eye makeup, I woke up the next day with crusty itchy eyes. This is the 3rd or 4th balm that’s done that so I’m officially never using cleansing balms again. It does work at taking off makeup, though, so if you enjoy these kinds of products, I would recommend it!

The Body Shop Tea Tree Facial Wash: I love to use this as my cleanser at night. I enjoy the scent of tea tree oil, and it is rather strong in this product, so keep that in mind if you want to try it. It works great with my skin.

The Body Shop Aloe Calming Cream Cleanser: I use this in the morning. It’s a very gentle cream cleanser. It’s nothing too extraordinary but it gets the job done.

GEE, YOUR HAIR SMELLS TERRIFIC

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Hask Argan Oil Dry Shampoo: I’ve tried almost all of the Hask dry shampoos and I think this one is my favorite. Smells great, doesn’t create too much white cast in the hair (unless you go balls to the wall spraying it), good job at decreasing the look of oil in your hair. And OF COURSE it’s no longer sold at Hask or other retails. MOTHER FUC-

Raw Sugar Texture Dry Shampoo in Coconut and Maqui Berry scent: I have the Raw Boost cream that works wonders on my hair, keeping it smooth. So I wanted to try something else. This dry shampoo….doesn’t really do anything. Doesn’t really add that much texture, either. But it smells fantastic!

Giovanni 2Chic Blackberry and Coconut Oil Hair Oil Serum: I love this stuff. It’s a little harder to find in stores now, but you can still get it at the Giovanni website. This is like a cross between a gel and an oil, not too thin, not too thick. Great at controlling frizz, and smoothing out waves or curls. Smells amazeballs, too!

EvolvH Smart Volume Leave In Conditioner: I got this YEARS ago, maybe in a Petite Vour bag? Not sure, but I was nervous to use it because this kind of thing usually leaves my hair weighed down and looking greasy. In fact, I said that in the initial unboxing and the company actually replied on my post, guaranteeing the product wouldn’t do that. And I’ll be damned if they weren’t right. This was really nice for my hair. And now that I’ve been bleaching my hair for a while, I might look into purchasing a full bottle.

Raw Sugar Boost (not pictured): I grabbed a bottle of this at Meijer on a whim. This stuff is awesome! It keeps my hair frizz to a minimum; helps the waves/curls keep their shape as my hair dries, too. It’s so nice. Looks like it only comes in the small size, which is fine because mine lasted for months (to be fair - I only wash my hair 1-2x a week and only use this when my hair is still wet).

DEBRIS

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Tom’s of Main Rapid Relief Sensitive Toothpaste: My go to for toothpaste. I did actually go a week or two without using it, just to make sure it was actually working. Holy shit, my teeth hurt so much before I went back. GAH. Will continue to purchase and use this product.

Mitchum Women Stick Deoderant: Love this stuff. Works great. Smells great. Is great. This was the gel form, but I prefer the solid stick. Both work well, but the gel takes a while to dry down and it still leaves white marks on your clothes if you’re not careful.

Cake Beauty Ultra-Nourishing Hand Cream: Again, not available from Cake Beauty anymore, so I just linked to their general hand cream page. This stuff was awesome. Absorbed fast, made my skin feel great, and smelled like lemon cake. Aaahhh….But this stuff is really old and started to smell kinda funky.

All righty. We’ve reached the bottom of the bin. Hope some of this was helpful, if you’re looking for recommendations. Until next time!

Morgue Drawer End of 2019

FINALLY, the post you’ve all been waiting for: MY GARBAGE!

BEAT THAT MUG

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Babyganics Baby Wipes: I use these to clean off swatches, and any eye shadow fallout when I’m doing my makeup (I always do my eyes first). They sting a little under the eyes but since I don’t use them for my whole face, it’s fine. And you can get a ton of these for very little cost at my grocery store, Value Center. But you can get them in a lot of different places for a great price.

ELF HD Undereye Setting Powder in Sheer: I love using this to set my concealer under my eyes. It’s finely milled, soft, not heavy, and doesn’t add any dryness to my skin (or at least it doesn’t add the appearance of dryness).

BH Cosmetics Lip Gloss: I like their glosses. The texture on this got really gloopy, so I’m tossing it. Seems they don’t have this product on their site anymore, but I love a lot of their makeup.

Catrice Prime and Fine Fixing Sprays (Dewy Glow and Multitalent): I only tried the Dewy one because Taylor Wynn recommended it on YouTube, but I’d been using the multitalent one for a looong time. I love this stuff, much better than the Dewy, which doesn’t give me any more glow than the multitalent spray, but it is more drying - go figure.

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMPSHADE

Physicians Formula Perfect Matcha Cleansing Balm: I really enjoy cleansing balms. They’re great at taking off makeup. But something new has developed in my body, and I don’t mean I’m experiencing a second puberty: after I use this kind of product, the next morning my eyes are red and swollen and crusty. And it wasn’t just from this brand. I used three different ones to test my theory and yep, all of them irritated the shit out of my eyes. Kinda pissed off, but these things happen. I’m trying out some cleansing oil instead to see if that’s any better. Fingers crossed…

Skinfood Pineapple Peeling Gel: I, personally, love a good peeling gel. It feels like a lotion going on dry skin, then soon the enzymes start working and the dead skin just balls right up and off your face. Hmmm, that sounds dirty… It does sound gross, but I actually like the sensation. It feels like I’m really helping my skin by removing the dead cells and afterwards, my face feels so damn soft. I’m not sure of Skinfood’s cruelty free status, so now that this is gone, I’m trying ELF’s version.

The Ordinary Niacinamide 10% + Zinc 1% Serum: I do love the serums from this company and I hadn’t tried this before. It’s fine; the zinc stings a little if you have a scratch or ‘open’ pimple situation. But I find with this brand that if I go through two bottles of the same product, it stops working. I just finished the 2nd bottle so I won’t be repurchasing.

Fourth Ray Beauty Remedy Niacinamide 10% Serum: This is Colourpop’s skin care sister brand and the first niacinamide product I ever tried. From the website: niacinamide is supposed “to enhance skin clarity, perfect pores over time, and boost overall skin health.” And I’ll be a son of a bitch if it didn’t work. I was actually shocked. I’ve since repurchased and hope that it won’t stop working like The Ordinary’s stuff usually does for me.

Mario Badescu Rose Facial Spray: Unless you’re new, you should already know how much I love this face spray. And will continue to repurchase when needed.

Burt’s Bees Micellar Water: Not great. It removed all the face makeup, but struggled a bit with eye makeup. It only stung my eyes a titch, unlike most micellar waters do, which is why I didn’t set it on fire before using it as a Molotov Cocktail at my Lord of the Flies neighbors. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find a cruelty free option that works, and doesn’t hurt.

ELF Nourishing Night Cream: This was okay. I wanted to switch up from the Formula 10.0.6 because my skin has been feeling more dry when I wake up (and long before the cold air started rolling in). This ended up feeling the same. And it’s a little pricey for ELF, if you ask me. Which you didn’t, but then why are you here reading all my opinions if you don’t care??

Formula 10.0.6 PM Perfector Night Cream: I’d been using this for a long time, but recently my skin has been feeling dryer in the morning so I don’t think it’s working well for me anymore. On the hunt for new stuff.

Formula 10.0.6 Day Cream: I still enjoy this a lot and will continue to use!

Notoriously Morbid’s Slumber Salve in Hesperides: This scent in no longer on the website but this product in general has to be some of THE best lip balm/salve I’ve ever tried. I put it on at night and, about 97% of the time, I wake up and some is still on. My lips feel so soft and protected. If you get the chance, check this stuff out for yourself.

GEE YOUR HAIR SMELLS TERRIFIC

RenPure Coconut Cream Nourishing Shampoo: I got this at Target, but this particular coconut line has to be bought on-line, apparently. It was a really nice moisturizing shampoo. With my hair being bleached now, I need extra moisture. Smelled nice, not too much coconut, hint of floral, and made my hair feel soft. But I get bored easily, as does my hair, so we’ve swiched it up. I still recommend this, though.

Paul Mitchell Lavender Mint Moisturizing Shampoo and Conditioner: And this is what I’ve switched to. It is phenomenal! I usually go three days (sometimes four) between hair washing, so dry shampoo is my friend. But even with that, my hair still feels so damn soft. Sometimes I just put dry shampoo or some kind of texture spray on so I can keep a ponytail or braid in. It’s magic! And it smells fantastic.

Marc Anthony Deep Repair Aloe Vera Jasmine Conditioning Treatment: Sweet baby jeebus I love this stuff. I only use it 2-3 times a month and I can get three uses from one packet. It really helps moisturize my hair, make it feel super soft, and the smell is out of this world. But then again, I love the smell of Jasmine. And it’s only $3 a packet. Yaaaasss.

L’Occitane Lemon Verbena Shampoo and Conditioner: Got this in a hotel room out in Jackson Hole, WY, while on vacation. And while it smells really nice, you have to use SO MUCH product to get it to work, and even then it’s not great stuff. Do not recommend. Doesn’t look like it’s available on their site anyway.

Hask Unwined Dry Shampoo in Rose Wine: This worked all right, but the smell was pretty heavy. Looks like just the White Wine option is available anyway.

Hask Argan from Morocco Dry Shampoo: This one worked better than the wine version, and it smells so much nicer.

Marc Anthony Argan Oil Hairspray: I still love this stuff. Not a heavy duty holding spray, but it can be piled on to work like one. The smell used to be softer, more like straight argan oil, but now it smells more like hairspray, does that make sense? I still like it, though!

DEBRIS

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MBA Cosmetics Body Wash in Seaside Escape: This was a decent body wash. The smell was really nice, very unisex leaning on floral. It didn’t foam up that much, which is sometimes good (the stuff that makes soaps foam is drying to the skin) but that means I used a lot more of it than other washes. This is from an Etsy store and the owner doesn’t make body wash anymore.

Tom’s of Main Rapid Relief Sensitive Toothpaste: Been buying this for years. It’s the only sensitive toothpaste that doesn’t make my mouth peel. Yes, that’s weird, but a small percentage of us deal with that side effect with other sensitivity toothpastes. This stuff works just as well as any other brand. Most of the time I can find this WITH fluoride, which I prefer, but I’ll take what I can get.

Whew! All righty, that’s it for 2019. See you all next year with more trash talk. Hardee har har.

Morgue Drawer June 2019

Thankfully I started organizing this post long before my trash overflowed into the house! So here are my empties for the past three months.

Debris

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Bath and Body Works Sensual Jasmine Vanilla Body Wash: Well, the time has finally come. I used up the last bottle I’ll ever have of this scent. BBW still makes body wash, but not in this scent anymore. So sad…

The Potion Cabinet Body Wash in Cyanide: It didn’t smell as much like almonds as I would have liked, and it didn’t foam up as much as the last one I tried from them. But I still enjoyed it, and am trying another scent now.

RenPure Coconut Cream Nourishing Conditioner: I’m still working through the shampoo of this scent but I really enjoyed both. It smells more like a mix of coconut and fruit - not too strong on either; my hair felt great and it didn’t fade the color too quickly. I originally got mine at Target but I can’t find it there now (but there are other formulas/scents). So the link is to the RenPure website.

Love Beauty and Planet Hair Masque with Rose and Murumuru Butter: Really liked this stuff. Hair felt fantastic. But the scent is really strong, almost too much.

Mitchum Women’s Solid Deodorant: I really like this brand. I’m not a super sweater so this works great for me. The Pure Fresh scent has been my favorite so far - a soft floral.

Avalon Organics Lip Balm in Cherry Aloe - meh. Feels nice at first but eventually my lips feel drier for using it. Um, what?

My Skin Would Make a Great Lampshade

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Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Cream: I’ve been using these both for a while and I still love them. The only downside is the printing on the night cream tub. It comes off easily if your hands are wet or oily so if you’re not careful, you might smudge purple on your face! It doesn’t stain, though, so no worries there.

Pacifica Rose Flower Hydro Mist: This was just okay. The mister is way too fine so it feels like you have to pump the bottle 100 times to get anything to cover your face. Heyyyoooohhh…. It also doesn’t feel like anything special or revolutionary so I went back to Mario Badescu. Smell is really nice, though.

Elf Daily Face Cleanser: This was just fine. Nothing great, nothing bad. The smell is a bit too strong, though.

Body Shop Tea Tree Face Wash: Love this stuff. I keep repurchasing the big bottle and filling up my travel one when I go out of town for conventions.

FaceStory Vitalift Firming Mask with Pomegranate: Not sure how this did on the firming aspect, but otherwise I loved it. The mask is super soft; the essence is almost milky (which is my favorite); and my skin felt great the next day. I have a subscription to this company and it’s awesome.

Innsfree Volcanic Pore Clay Mask: I loved this stuff. Clay/mud masks work very well on my skin, particularly if I’m having some breakouts or general ickiness. This stuff has a little bit of exfoliant particles but nothing harsh. The only bad thing is that it got too dried out to use after I’d only gotten through half the jar. *sad trombone*

Beat That Mug

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Babyganics Wipes: I get these at my local Value Center grocery store. I love using them to clean off swatches or fallout under my eyes. I don’t use them for regular makeup removal - all wipes burn my skin.

Heimish All Clean Balm: I love cleansing balms and when I first tried a sample of this years ago, I fell in love. Once I got this bigger size, though, I noticed it really bothers my eyes. Not while I’m using it - the next morning, my eyes will be crusty and/or goopy. Blech. Trying the Physicians Formula one now.

Elf Prime & Stay Finishing Powder (Fair/Light): This is some of the best face powder I’ve ever used. Either alone or over foundation, it makes my skin look so smooth and, well, finished. And it’s $2. LOVE.

2B CC Cream in Nude: I love how this stuff looks on my skin but this tube is hella old and it’s gotta go. Plus, I’m pretty sure they don’t make it anymore as I can’t find it anywhere - at least, not in the US.

That’s all my garbage for now. Hope you enjoyed it!

Morgue Drawer March 2019

Not sure why I thought it had been longer than three months since my last MD, but it seems I’m right on track for my quarterly posting. Yay, me!

For anyone new here, this is basically the post where I talk about my garbage. I’ve used up these products, so I can give you a good idea on their performance, and if I enjoyed them. Hope it’s educational! (Also pretty sure most, if not all, of these products are Cruelty Free!)

DEBRIS

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Paul Mitchell Platinum Blonde Shampoo: Technically, I haven’t used this up completely. I emptied this bigger bottle into a travel sized one. It’s a purple shampoo, and was great when I stopped coloring my hair and went with my natural salt and pepper. It made my greys look a little lavender, and not so brassy. I highly recommend it for that. And now that my hair is red and purple, I won’t mind using this when I travel.

Hask Chia Seed Dry Shampoo: I enjoy the Hask brand dry shampoos a lot. This was one that didn’t look powdery, or like I dumped a kilo of cocaine on my head. But it wasn’t that great as a dry shampoo. Did work really well to add texture so it was easier to style my hair or get it to stay in place.

Babyganics Baby Wipes: I get these at my local grocery store (Value Center). But you can get them at Target, Kroger, Amazon, Walmart, etc. I love them for cleaning off swatches, or just cleaning off eye shadow fall out on my cheeks. The cloths themselves are soft but, as with any wipe, the liquid burns a little bit. But I don’t mind using them for clean up.

Tom’s of Main Maximum Sensitive Toothpaste: I’ve been using this for years. It’s the only toothpaste that works really well for me. AND I don’t get the mouth-peeling issue like I do with every other brand. Apparently, it’s a thing that a small percentage of the population experiences with sensitive toothpaste. It’s weird and kinda gross, but at least it doesn’t hurt.

LIKE BUTTAH

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Soap & Glory Righteous Body Butter: I love S&G body butters, but the scent on this one is a little heavy. Kind of like Lilies of the Valley, but on crack. I’d love to get the Sugar Crush scent again, but I don’t think they make it anymore. The link will take you to Ulta where you can look at all the other scents available. If you want something that will stay on your skin and keep you moist (uh….) you need to get a S&G body butter.

Nature’s Truth Sweet Almond Oil: I got this at Meijers (but you can get it at a lot of places) to mix with some essential and/or perfume oils the hubby got me. My feet, and toe nails particularly, love this stuff. The rest of my body ain’t complaining, either.

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMPSHADE

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Mario Badescu Facial Spray (Rose and Lavender): I’ve been using the rose spray for years, but once I realized it contained some artificial stuff, I’m now trying something else. But it is nice, and the lavender one was also a nice spray to use before bed. Not too strongly scented, so if you’re sensitive to lavender, this might be okay for you.

The Ordinary Buffet Serum: Also used this for years, but after a while, it doesn’t seem to do much for me any more. But if you’re looking for some new skin care, that doesn’t cost the same as a car payment, you should check out The Ordinary.

The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid Serum: With winter, I wanted to add a little more moisture into my skin. I’m not dry dry, but I’m not as oily as I used to be. This didn’t really do much, though.

Botanics Nourishing Facial Oil: Nice smelling oil, but it broke me out. So I ended up using it on my neck and chest (or decolletage for you fancy-ass folks) and it was wonderful.

Formula 10.0.6 Picture Perfect Day Moisturizer: I’m still digging this stuff. Nice moisturizer that takes a few minutes to sink in, but it’s worth the wait. That little bit of SPF is nice, too.

That’s it for now! See you again in a few months with more garbage.

Morgue Drawer End of 2018

Finally getting around to writing up this post so I can throw all my garbage away! For those who don’t know, I write up a quick little review of products I’ve used up over the past months to give you a better idea how things worked, or didn’t, for me. Hopefully a little more in-depth than the PDs, MEHs, and GFYs, because some of that shit made me so angry that I tried to burn it all after the first use.

So here we go, wrapping up 2018, by taking a stroll through my trash. Enjoy!

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMP SHADE

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H20+ Oasis Hydrating Treatment: Really nice moisturizer. I love a good gel formula, and it worked well for my skin. But this brand is way too pricey for me!

Pacifica Cactus Revive Face Wash: Meh. The smell was nice but the texture was so runny, it made a mess all over the cap and tube. As I got closer to the end of the tube, the product got grittier, which is bizarre. I didn’t finish it off before throwing it away. (And they don’t sell this one anymore….of course, they don’t.)

Elisha Coy Moist Up Super Hyalurone Ampoule Serum: I really like this serum. Smells good, absorbs well, and it might be a little better than The Ordinary Buffet serum (which stays tacky on the skin and recently started breaking me out.) I got mine at CVS, but it’s not always in stock.

Formula 10.0.6 So Totally Clean Micellar Water: Not a good product. Burns the eyes like hell, and it doesn’t remove all makeup. Skin didn’t really feel clean after using it.

Soap & Glory Fab Pore Purifying Foam Cleanser: I really liked this. Smelled nice and clean, if that makes sense. Worked great until I got to the last inch or so in the bottle. Then it didn’t seem to work as well, plus the pump on the bottle broke.

The Body Shop Aloe Cream Cleanser: Loved this. Gentle cream cleanser and no heavy smell.

Mario Badescu Rose Facial Spray: I still enjoy this, though just recently I watched a review about how this isn’t as great for the skin as other sprays because of the dyes and filler ingredients. Dammit.

The Ordinary Squalene Face Oil: My skin loves this stuff so much better than rose hip oil, which spoils much quicker and remains heavy on the skin. Squalene absorbs fast, and has no smell!

Nip & Fab Moisturizer: This was decent but smelled a little too heavy of sunscreen. (this is no longer available.)

Derma E Rose Cleansing Oil: Smells nice but didn’t do a good job of cleaning off anything.

Ariul Bamboo Water Mask: LOVED this. Super soft mask and my skin felt great, even the next day. I want to get all 7 days worth of them.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Cream: Still my go-to moisturizers.

DEBRIS

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Mitchum Gel Deoderant: Pretty good, but the gel took FOREVER to dry, and still left white marks. Trying the solid sticks now, and I like those so much better.

Giovanni 2Chic Intensive Hair Mask: Loved this mask/heavy conditioner. Super thick and really helped my bleached hair look smooth, and feel soft. I can’t find the Ultra-Repair one anymore, just the regular Repair. Still works well, just not as thick.

Marc Anthony Argan Oil Hair Spray: Still love this stuff. Smell is really nice, and it’s just a soft hold hairspray, which I enjoy.

Maui Moisture Heal and Hydrate Hair Mask: This was almost as good as the Giovanni stuff. Smelled fantastic! The tub is a bit messy, though.

Tom’s of Main Maximum Sensitivity Toothpaste: Still love this stuff; only sensitive toothpaste that works for me. I usually get mine at Meijers or Vitamin Shoppe.

Purple Cat Apothecary Body Butter (Winter Rose): I like the texture of the body butter, but the scent on this was too heavy with honey and very little rose. (Store no longer exists.)

ZOMG Smells Perfumes (Lola’s New Dress and Hyang-Su): I love so many of the scents I’ve purchased from this store. These got too old and started to smell more like alcohol, so I had to get rid of them. Sugar Dragon is one of my favorite scents!

Lavanila Pure Vanilla Perfume: THE BEST VANILLA PERFUME EVAR!!!

BEAT THAT MUG

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NYX Vivid Liner (Silver): So much fun! But like their Vinyls liners, this dried out so fast. I’d be willing to get it again, but they no longer sell this shade. Fuck me.

Babyganics Face/Hand/Baby Wipes: I get these at my local Value Center super market, but looks like you can get them at Target, too. They are great for wiping off swatches, clearing eye shadow fall out on my cheeks, or a quick clean of my hands before starting makeup application. No scent, which is really nice.

Catrice Prime & Fine Multitalent Fixing Spray: I LOVE THIS SETTING SPRAY. Gives my face a nice glow and melds with my highlighter beautifully, which I love. Been wanting to try their glowy version (how much more shiny can I get??) but it’s always sold out!

ELF Lip Exfoliator (pink grapefruit): This is a great exfoliator in a non-messy package/delivery system. This one just got too old before I could use it up.

Milani Lip Gloss: This was one of my favorite lip glosses. It’s so old, though, that the name is worn off, and Milani doesn’t make it anymore. Sheer pink with gold shimmer. Absolutely gorgeous. Smelled like candy, too! But it finally went “off” so I had to toss it.

Tarte Smooth Operator Finishing Powder: This was perfect for setting my under eye concealer. Finely milled, it never looked heavy or cakey. Took me forever to get through this little sample!

Urban Decay Primer Potion: Meh. Not sure why everyone loves this eye primer so much. It’s kinda dry, and doesn’t work any better than any drug store, lower cost one (like Milani.)

Ulta Brow Tint: Love this product, but this shade was a bit light for me. Will get the dark brown when I use up another one I’ve got open now.

Tarte Lights Camera Lashes Mascara: Still one of my favorite mascara formulas of all time. But it will either come in a mini like this, or will go on sale. Never buy this at full price!

Catrice Pret-a-Volume Mascara: It was…okay. More natural looking than volume boosting. Which is fine but not what it advertises. Not sure if the link I put is to the exact same mascara, but looks close enough.

Essence Precise Eyeliner Brush: I love these. Super thin so you can get a precise line with any kind of medium (gel, powder, etc.) They’re $2. I have three back ups right now.

All righty. That’s it for 2018. Hope to see you all next year!

Morgue Drawer June 2018

Here we are again, folks. As the temperatures remain in the nineties, it feels safer to me to stay inside and write up a few blog posts/reviews. So let's start with my trash, eh?

 

AND SO....I DIE...

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These make me sad. There's still product in each container but either the formulas have changed, they smell off, or they tingle against my lips and they're not supposed to do that. So I need to trash them.

Medusa's Makeup Lip Paint Remover: This stuff works great on MM's lip paints but after a while, the smell got horrible and the cap is all sticky and crusty with dried oil. It's basically almond oil, grapeseed oil, and fragrance so I imagine just almond oil will work fine. But they're having a sale right now and it's half off! I might keep the bottle and reuse it for something else. (CF)

Elf Luscious Liquid Lipstick in Nude Pink: I love this color and the formula. It started out smelling like mint but now it smells like menthol so into the garbage it goes. Would totally buy again, though, if they still had this shade. Which they don't. (CF)

Colourpop Lippies: These are probably the oldest CP lippies I own so it makes sense that they smell funny now, or the formulas have changed and actually burn when I put them on. As I have a ton of other lipsticks and glosses, I don't NEED to repurchase. Doesn't mean I won't, though...(L to R) Ultra Glossy Lip in Tight Fit; Ultra Satin in So Wavy, Lost, Petit Four, and Marshmallow (Tight Fit, Lost, and Marshmallow are still available on the CP site). 

 

SCRUB-A-DUB AND SMELL GOOD

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Paul Mitchell Instant Moisture Conditioner: I've been enjoying a lot of Paul Mitchell products lately and the hubby loves this conditioner (and matching shampoo), too! It works pretty well to keep hair clean and moisturized, which is good for me since I bleach my hair now. I ended up buying the bigger size so hubs and I can share. (CF)

Phyto Color Enhancing Hair Mask: I got this sample with an Ulta order, I think. Though it worked really well (at least at moisturizing), it's not a Cruelty Free brand so I won't be purchasing it in the future. It's also $59 for 6 ounces. Uh...no. (NCF)

Purlisse Coconut Oil and Coffee Sugar Scrub: This was a decent scrub, smelled great, but I only got one use out of this sample size. You need to use a lot to cover the whole body (I did, anyway, and I'm not very big). (CF/Vegan)

Mitchum Stick Deodorant: This worked okay. I like the clear gel formula much better. Pretty sure any deodorant that isn't one of the 'natural' brands, isn't cruelty free. (NCF)

Nature's Truth Sweet Almond Oil: I like to use this on my feet and toenails after I shower. It's a nice, light oil, that absorbs quickly into the skin. Good for all over the body, actually. Almond oil is used as a base for other moisturizers because it has no scent. Will buy again (it's not all gone but I poured the remainder into an empty pump bottle for easier dispersement). (CF - ?)

Purple Cat Apothecary Body Butters: Two more from the 5-pack sample set I ordered. The Lemon Chiffon was divine! Lemon and butter cake. The Frostbloom was okay. Kinda floral, kinda minty...hard to pin down. This formula was much thicker and drier than the Lemon one but both worked very well, especially over the almond oil I talked about above. (CF) NOTE: This was originally an Etsy store with art and body products. Apparently, Etsy is making is difficult and more expensive for people to use it as a store front so this woman only has an on-line art store at a separate website. Dammit.

 

SQUEAKY CLEAN

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TN Dickinson's Witch hazel: I like to use this after I do a mud mask. It's great for cleaning off any excess or left behind product without drying out my skin. I know a lot of people hate the smell of witch hazel but it doesn't bother me at all. Very gentle and could be used every day. I think I got mine at the grocery store but it's sold everyone it seems. (CF/Vegan)

Everyone Lavender and Coconut Hand Soap: We've tried a few scents from this brand and I really have enjoyed them all. This and the Lemon/Mandarin one have been been my favorites. Great for the kitchen! (CF)

BBW Good Vibes Only foaming hand soap: I bought this scent to get a deal at Bath and Body Works so I wasn't expecting it to be great but I love it. Even the hubby, who's not one for a lot of scented cleansers, really liked it. But...because it's BBW, and they sell to China, I really have only been keeping my purchases to candles (I love their candles and haven't found anything else to replace them yet). (NCF)

 

 

CHOMPERS AND THE LIKE

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ACT Restoring Mouthwash: I used this stuff every day with Invisalign and now it's just a habit I can't quit. Which is good! My teeth need a lot of help so this fluoride rinse is perfect. Doesn't burn like a mo-fo, either. (NCF)

Tom's of Maine Maximum Strength Sensitive toothpaste: Love this stuff. Will keep buying. (CF)

Simply Creative Living Honey Cherry Almond lip balm: I believe I talked about another lip balm from this company. I got it at my city's Farmer's Market or the 4th of July fair. Can't remember. This was just okay. Probably won't repurchase. (CF)

 

ALL ABOUT THAT FACE

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NO:HJ Sheet Mask: Got this from my monthly subscription, Facestory. It was really nice and it had all these gold colored flowers all over it. I felt so fancy! It's a Korean brand so the cruelty free status is hard to know/confirm.

The Ordinary Buffet serum: I've raved about this product before here but lately, this stuff hasn't been working all that well. It's actually been breaking me out. I know skin can acclimate to a product, making it less effective, even develop reactions to some. Seems that's what's happened here. So while my backup bottles sit unused, I'm trying something else. I'll let you know how it goes. (CF)

Ole Henrickson Banana Bright Eye Cream: Got this in one of my last Ipsy bags, I think. The cream is yellow but not sure it's brightening. It's thick but doesn't absorb that well. In fact, it didn't really do shit. (CF)

SkinRX Labs MadeCera Cream: Another sample product but can't remember where I go it. I really enjoyed it, though. Felt great on the skin and did a good job of moisturizing. Again, SkinRX is Korean so can't confirm or deny cruelty free status.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Cream: I've been using the day and night creams for a while. Still loving them. (CF)

 

ALL SORTS OF STUFF

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The Ordinary Fluid Primer (forgot to put this with the makeup): This stuff is pure shit. When I bought it, the bottle was barely half full (but it wasn't wet or sticky so nothing leaked - it just wasn't filled). Can't get it out of the bottle THROUGH the dropper so I'd just wipe off enough OFF the dropper to put on my face. And then I felt like a total grease ball. I can't even use it up because it feels so gross and my skin hates it. (CF)

Burt's Bees Cleansing Oil: I really like cleansing oils so I thought I'd give BB's version a shot. It's...okay. Smells a little weird and doesn't do a great job but it's fine. I actually didn't finish this yet but I put the remaining product in a travel bottle. (CF)

Nip + Fab Glycolic Cleansing Pads: I got a sample pack of these years ago when I was still getting the Walmart box. And I really liked them so I got this full size at the drug store. Turned out they didn't really do that much for my skin. But I like the travel friendly pre-soaked pads (as opposed to a bottle) even though these felt kind of dry. Maybe that's why they didn't seem to do much. I'd be willing to try them again, though, in case I got a bad batch. (CF)

Manyo Factory Herb Green Cleansing Oil: I'm pretty sure this sample was what started my love of cleansing oils. This stuff was great. Smelled good and did a great job of removing makeup, especially after the heavy stuff I use for convention appearances! It's another Korean brand so I don't know if they're cruelty free.

First Aid Beauty Hydrating Serum (not sure why I didn't put this with the previous stuff): I've used a couple products from this brand before and while I did like them, I don't feel the brand is so superb to be worth the higher price tag. I did really enjoy this, though. (CF)

Morgue Drawer March 2018

Welcome to my trash! This is a post dedicated to all the products I've used up over the past few months so I'm pretty sure I know how they perform, smell, feel, taste, and wear on my personage. (AGAIN - these are reviews of how these products work for MY body). I'll provide links to all, assuming I can find them, so you can check them out for yourselves.

 

BEAT THAT MUG

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Essence Lash Princess Volume Mascara: Love this mascara, though this tube seemed drier than past tubes I've used. Could be I had it in my drawer too long!

Lunatcik Costmetic Labs lipsticks: I love the color on these but the bullets are so dry and sticky now, I can't even swatch them let alone use them on my lips. *sad trombone* Mine were the old packaging, apparently, so looks like you have to get the gold packaging now.

NYX Dewy Finishing Spray: I love this and it has replaced the ELF one I used to use.

Essence Eyeliner brush: I absolutely love this for gel liners. I imagine if I had a liquid one where the wand or brush went wonky, this would work great for that, too. And it's $2!

 

LIKE BUTTAH

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Bath & Body Works Body Cream (Jasmine & Vanilla): I know B&BW sells in China but I still haven't found anything to replace this scent, one of the best I've ever found in my life in a body product. The whole Sensual line is this combo of jasmine and vanilla and is pure heaven. This body cream is excellent. AND FUCK MY LIFE I CAN'T FIND IT ON THE SITE ANYMORE.

Simply Creative Living lip balm (peppermint): This was okay. I got it at the Clawson Farmer's Market, I think, from a local vendor. The quote on there also has a spelling mistake.

PurplecatCreatives Apothecary Body Butters: This is a seller on Etsy. I bought a 6-pack of minis to try out. These are super thick and hard to spread on the skin. BUT they're perfect for your feet. The Dragon Butter scent (dragons blood) was a little too heavy. The Candlelight scent (which I can't remember and there's no description - it's seasonal) was nice but a little perfumy. I'm using Lemon Chiffon now which is heavenly. 

Skin & Co Umbrian Truffle hand cream: Decent hand cream. Smells like coconut.

 

(MOSTLY) CLEAN AND SHINY

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Marc Anthony Nourishing Argan Oil shampoo/conditioner: This stuff worked really well. The shampoos that say they're 'color safe' are useless. Find yourself a good moisturizing one and that will work much better. This line is really good - scent it nice, my color didn't fade too quickly, and my hair felt wonderful.

Hask Charcoal Purifying Dry Shampoo: I liked this one because it didn't leave a lot of white residue that most dry shampoos do. Smells good, too. Not the best dry shampoo I've used but decent!

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMP SHADE

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Mario Badescu Facial Spray with rose water: I love this stuff so much. I'm still working on a giant bottle I got off HauteLook. I recently got the lavender one, too, and it's great to use before bed.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Creams: I love these. The day has SPF15, which I know isn't a lot but it works fine. Nice cream and doesn't make me feel greasy. The night cream is great, too. It makes a great seal over my serum and oils.

Benton Honest Cleansing foam: This was a nice gentle cleanser. It was nice to take traveling, too.

The Ordinary Buffet serum: Love it. Works great. Will continue to buy!

 

DEBRIS (AKA RANDOM ASSORTMENT)

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Seventh Generation Free & Clear Wipes: I wanted to find some wipes to replace the small packs of makeup wipes I've used over the years. I don't use them on my face - mostly just for cleaning swatches. So why not baby wipes? These were pretty good. If I did need to take something off my face (a mistake perhaps?) these did sting a bit and left some lint behind. But for general swatches they were fine. Trying something different now, though.

ACT Restoring Mouthwash (cool mint): Since I've started Invisalign (last August), I worry about my teeth being covered up all the time and trapped food, etc. So in addition to more brushing and flossing, I use this mouthwash. I love ACT. This and the green flavor (mint - my preferred) do NOT sting at all.

Mitchum Dry spray deodorant: I discovered this brand when Secret stopped worked for me. And I really like the gel so I thought I'd give this a try. WAAAAY to heavy on the scent but the product works well. I'm back to the gel, though.

Tom's of Main toothpaste: I wanted to see if their non-fluoride sensitive toothpaste works as well as the maximum sensitive fluoride one. It does not. Plus I like having fluoride in my oral care as much as possible because I am cavity prone. But I can only find it at The Vitamin Shoppe - which is fine. I have a membership there!

Hello Sensitivity Relief toothpaste: Meh. Not a foaming paste, which is fine, but felt like I wasn't actually brushing with any product. Didn't help with sensitivity that much, either. The taste was bleh. But the worst part was trying to open the flip cap. I struggled a lot with it so will not be going back.

PD, MEHs, and GFYs November 2017

Oh MAN it's been too long since I've bitched about shit. I'm about to lose my Old Lady card and get kicked out of the Wool Shawl in Summer club. This post, though, should help get my tennis ball footed walker cred back.

For those of you who are new, welcome. This is my version of Favorites and Fails, Winners and Losers, or whatever the crazy kids are calling it on YouTube these days. Enjoy.

PDs (Panty Droppers)

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Secret Key Lemon D-Toc Peeling Gel: This was my first exposure to a peeling gel. It's the consistency of aloe gel but smells like lemons. Actually kind of like artificial science lab kind of lemons but I could deal with that. You rub this on cleansed skin and those little balls that end up rolling around? That's all your dead skin clumping together so it can be rinsed away. I know it sounds gross but once you try it, and feel how AMAZINGLY soft your skin is after, you'll never doubt again. This is the old packaging so when shopping, look for the new bottle (in the link). I'm using the brand Skinfood's version now (pineapple, smells much better).

Formula 10.0.6 Picture Perfect Day: My new favorite day cream. Absorbs pretty well (does linger a bit on the skin's surface), no pungent smell, and has SPF 15. I'm almost ready for my 3rd bottle.

Formula 10.0.6 PM Perfector: My new favorite night cream. It's thick but light at the same time. I'm not sure how to describe it. It absorbs faster than the day cream, I think. And my skin feels nice in the morning.

Colourpop Brow Boss Pencil (in Soft Black): As most of you know, I don't have much in the way of eyebrows. But at the same time, when I want to fill them in, I don't like a heavy drawn on look. Powders usually work well for me or colored brow gels. Most pencils are so soft they come off very heavy and greasy looking. This is perfection. It's very thin, waxy (so it's not creamy/greasy), and allows me to draw in more realistic looking brow hair. And it's $5! Come on!

Essence Plump no Clump Mascara: I think this is the dupe of the Cover Girl Clump Crusher mascara, which I've tried and I loved. But once I started going cruelty free, I needed an alternative. This is it. It separates my lashes well, doesn't clump (duh), and doesn't transfer all over the place. UNFORTUNATELY, it's no longer sold at Ulta, the Essence US site doesn't have it, and Amazon is all out. It might be discontinued. FUCK ME.

 

MEHs (Meh, obviously)

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Precious Skin Elixirs Exfoliating Clay: It's one of those dry powders that you mix with just a little water right in your hand and smear all over your face. It was a nice exfoliator but I woke up the next morning the greasiest grease monkey that every greased. UGH.

Soap & Glory Sugar Crush Body Wash: While I love the scent of Sugar Crush, the wash is way too thin so you have to use a lot to get it to cover your entire body (bow chicka BOW WOW). By the time I got to the bottom of the bottle, it was mostly like mixing water with water to wash myself. LAME.

Doucce Maxlash Volumizer Mascara: The mascara did a nice job of thickening my lashes and they looked great. But the next morning, even after taking off my makeup the night before, my eyes were all red and irritated and goopy. Ew.

Tarte Amazonian Clay Gifted Mascara: This stuff was great at first. I even posted on IG about it. But the longer I used it, the gloppier the mascara got and it made my lashes look like a 60s spidery mess. And that sucks.

Tony Moly Cooling Eye Stick: This was very cooling on the skin. It felt great! But it totally broke me out. I don't usually get pimples in my under eye area but I did after using this. Boooo.

 

GFYs (Go Fuck Yourselves)

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Catrice Prime & Fine Brightening Eye Shadow Base: This doesn't do shit for helping eye shadow last or look more intense. It's actually kind of shimmery which is fine if that's what you want. Otherwise I'd stick to NYX's jumbo eye pencil in Milk. ALSO, this changed color after only a couple of months. Gross.

Essence Forbidden Volume Mascara: If they mean it was forbidden to make a mascara that does what it says on the bottle then they hit the mark. No volume whatsoever. It was gloppy and smudged EVERYWHERE. Fucking weak.

Air Repair Super-Hydrating Eye Cream: Holy hell this stung like a mother fucker. I had to wipe it off immediately which kind of defeats the purpose, right? Totally useless.

Colourpop Brow Boss Gel: This stuff is more like a thick lotion so it never really dries down. It also doesn't last for more than a few hours which is fine because IT DOES NOTHING. I don't have a lot of brow hairs but I have one or two with attitudes. This stuff didn't do a damn fucking thing.

Saem Iceland Hydrating Eye Stick: Though this had a nice cooling effect, that's not its purpose. It's supposed to hydrate. Does it do that? Nooooooope. Actually very drying for under the eyes AND it broke me out. So I guess these kinds of stick balm things are just not for me. Which is sad because look how cute the packaging is!

 

That'll do it for this round. I'll try to get these up once every quarter so they're not as long!