The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Filtering by Category: Monthly Reviews

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs May 2016

For you newbs, here's a quick explanation of this series of posts. Most YouTubers or Bloggers do something like Monthly Favorites or Hits and Misses every month. As I don't use up or go through stuff all that quickly, my post will show up every couple of months. So here you will find the products that are Pantry Droppers (the good), Meh (the average), and Go Fuck Yourselves (the shitty).

Below find the latest for May of 2016. (Again - I don't know the cruelty free status of most of the Korean brands. If I do, I will note it.)

 

PDs

Shara Shara Banana Honey Lotion: Sweet baby Jeebus this lotion is phenomenal. I got it in a Meme box years ago and it took a long time to get through it all. Smells just like banana cream pie (if you're into that sort of thing...which I am) and it made my skin so soft. It's in new packaging now but Amazon has it!

Nourish Organic Body Oil Mist: As this is a sample, it's not a mist format so it's a little messier to deal with but it's awesome. It doesn't smell like roses - more like just the rose hips, which is a little grassier than floral. Not a strong scent so that's fine with me. Loved using this after the shower. Will have to buy the full size. NO is cruelty free.

Promise Organic Argan Creme Face Lotion: I just talked about this in my Morgue Drawer but it needs to be discussed again, it's that nice. Non-greasy, fast absorbing, smells like oranges. Because it doesn't have SPF I used it as a night cream. As soon as I get through the stuff I have now, I'm buying more of this. PO is cruelty free.

Milani Moisture Lock Lip Treatment: I have the Rose scented one and I love it. It has a soft pink color in the tube but it's just clear oil/gloss on the lips. This is so moisturizing and lasts a  surprisingly long time on the lips. Most oils would wear off relatively fast but this likes to hang around for a while. I want to try all the other scents/flavors, too. Milani is cruelty free.

Dermal Sea Cucumber Supreme Mask: This really made my skin feel hydrated after using it. Probably because it's so saturated with essence that it was dripping all over me until I blotted it with a towel!

Leaders Black Aqua Pore Scaling mask: This was amazing! It tingled a bit when I wore it but not in a burning kind of way. The material was thick and super soft. My skin felt better after using it (it's for dry skin so I guess it's got extra moisturizers or something). See below for an amusing visual.

3W Fresh Syn-ake mask: Very nice and moisturizing but again, the 3W mask holes do not fit my face.

Mehron Paint Palette: I got this for a specific cosplay at Motor City Comic Con but it will be great for any other face/body painting I need to do. I practiced my make up several times before the actual costume day and I barely made a dent in these paints! They're water activated and once they dry, they really don't budge - unless you sweat or get spit upon or the natural oils of your skin start to break it down over time. I need to invest in some sealant!

Glamtech empty palette: I found this place on Etsy. I had a few single shadows/highlighters that had no home (along with a bunch of singles I depotted to clear up the clutter in my drawers....ewww...). This store will customize a palette for you! No more boring plain black or lame ass chevron patterns for you! You can choose from a bunch of different colors and designs. The top is held on by very strong magnets and they don't let go. I store mine upright in a desk letter organizer. I have since purchased another so I have this red bats one and a purple skeleton cameo palette. Awesome!

 

MEHs

Derma e Hydrating Night Creme: I used to love this stuff. But for some reason it decided it wanted to break up and it's moisturizing capabilities have left me high and dry (or at least dry). I can't even finish this jar because it feels like it's sucking the life out of my skin.

Essence Gel eyeliner: I used to really love this stuff, too. And when I first open the jar, it IS fantastic. But within a few weeks the gel starts to dry out. It gets harder and harder (that's what she said) to work with and crumbles all over the place. Maybe if I used it every day I'd get through it before it goes all Sahara.

Skinfood Mascara: It says setting mascara but the card from the 3B box this came in said it's used just like a regular mascara. It does makes my lashes look beautiful and long but it smudges all under my eyes by the end of the day. Maybe it doesn't do that on people whose eyelids are insured by Exxon.

 

GFYs

Simple Micellar make-up wipes: Pretty much exactly like their liquid format - useless and burny. Does not get off all makeup and hurt like fuck around the eyes. Simple is not cruelty free.

3W Clinic Collagen Serum: I tried to use this for about 2 weeks. I know skin can go into rebel mode when introduced to new things but even after an adjustment period, it kept breaking me out. Ugh.

Benton Snail Bee Steam Cream: Sticky, smelly face cream did absolutely nothing for me. Except give me big zits. So apparently Team Bee Snail is a shitty idea.

Secret Key toner: This felt like straight alcohol on my skin. Very drying and, naturally, irritated and broke out my skin. 

Maybelline Color Tattoo cream eye shadow: Completely useless. I thought it worked as a decent base but I thought wrong. It also dried up really fast. Maybelline is not cruelty free. Ass hats.

L'Oreal Revitalift Miracle Blur: I think this was a face primer but it didn't blur anything, felt greasy, and then balled up when I put foundation on over it. What the hell? L'Oreal isn't cruelty free anyway so no big loss there.

Palladio Flat brush: Not sure exactly when I bought this but I was a fucking idiot at the time and even more of a fucking idiot for keeping it this long. It's rough and prickly as fuck, like using a cactus to put on my eye makeup. Palladio is not cruelty free which is pretty obvious from this brush - if they don't give a rat's ass about the comfort of their customers, they sure as shit don't give a flying fuck about animals.

Okay that'll do it for now. Come back in a couple months to see what else had made me drop my drawers, shrug non-committally, or pissed me off so bad I had to go beat up a random hobo.

Morgue Drawer May 2016

And again with keeping on time, though I guess technically I should have posted this a few days ago. But I was at Motor City Comic Con with my writing group so GET OFF MY BACK!

Anyway...let's get to it, shall we?

(Side note: I'm unsure about the cruelty free status of most of the Korean brands. If I know for sure, I'll mention it. Eventually I'll get to the point where I'll just mark CF or NCF but let's ease into that later.)

BECAUSE I'M ALL ABOUT THAT FACE, 'BOUT THAT FACE...

Neutrogena Oil-Free Moisture face lotion: I've used this stuff for years. Nice and lightweight, can put on two layers to get some extra moisturizing, and it's got SPF 15. Unfortunately, Neutrogena is NOT cruelty free so I've got to find an alternative.

Promise Organic Argan Creme face lotion: Speaking of alternatives, this would be a great one. Moisturizes very well without that greasy shiny look/feel that the Neutrogena one can give. And it smells like fresh oranges. This brand IS cruelty free but it doesn't have SPF. I like my face lotion to have sunscreen because I don't always wear makeup so I can't rely on that for sun protection.

Etude House Wonder Pore toner: Not sure this did anything. It didn't over dry my skin or make it break out but did it do anything else? *shrug*

Dr. Brandt PoreDermabrasion: Absolutely TERRIBLE stuff. The scrub was way too harsh and it actually caused two HUGE break outs on my chin. I'm also pretty sure this brand is NOT cruelty free so Dr. Brandt can just go fuck off.

Too Cool For School Egg Mellow Cream: I have a few more sample packs to use up so I'll get a better idea how this works. Initial trial worked well. Nice, thick cream that's very moisturizing. I'm excited to try the rest.

Sephora Lingzhi eye mask: Not really sure if this anti-aged or smoothed anything but my skin felt nice afterwards. Unfortunately, Sephora is not cruelty free so I won't be purchasing anything else from their line. (Note: when I went to find the link, this particular eye mask was no longer available - shocked, I tell you.)

3W Clinic Royal Jelly mask: Super saturated mask. My skin felt great after using it but the cut outs (for eyes, nose, etc.) do not fit my face well at all. It's kind of annoying. I don't want the essence...DEAR GODS IT'S ON MY EYEBALL!!

Botanic Farm Rice mask: This was an awesome cotton mask. Very saturated and the material was super soft. The cut outs fit so much better on my face than the 3W. Really enjoyed this one. (Note: as of the time I'm typing this, the only place I can find that sells this is Meme Box and they're currently sold out.)

 

GEE YOUR HAIR SMELLS LIKE YOU WERE BORN WITH IT

Hask Thickening Conditioner: Very nice. Smells softly of mint, not overpowering or sweet. Don't think it thickened my hair, though. Waiting to finish the shampoo and move on to another Hask product. This brand is cruelty free.

L'Oreal Total Repair 5 Conditioner: It's okay. I used it when I was coloring my hair and it was all frizzy and dry. Meh. L'Oreal is not cruelty free.

Batiste Dry Shampoo: The Fresh scent is better than the others I've tried but it can still be a little overpowering. There's a lot of mixed info out there about this brand, though their parent company tests on animals. As there are a ton of CF alternatives I haven't tried yet, I'll probably work through my current can and move on to something else afterwards.

Smashbox Full Exposure mascara: I really liked this mascara for volume. It was also really great to layer with other mascaras that didn't thicken lashes very well. Smashbox is not CF, though, so I'll never buy this brand (this was a sample I got in Ipsy, I think).

Maybelline Define-A-Lash mascara: Really great at separating lashes and defining them (go figure). But you could never build it up - it just got clumpy, even if layered with another mascara. Maybelline is not CF.

Covergirl Clump Crusher mascara: This was a fantastic mascara. Great at separating lashes and giving a bit of length and volume. Never clumped up even with multiple layers. Covergirl is not CF.

 

SMOOTH AS AN ANDROID'S BOTTOM

Nivea In-Shower lotion: Awesome, awesome stuff. Smells nice and the softness lasted on my skin all day. Unfortunately, Nivea is not CF.

Nivea Kiss of...lip balms: These have been some of my favorite balms. I didn't like the cherry or SPF one but these two are phenomenal. Makes me so sad that Nivea isn't CF. 

Marlowe body lotion: This is an okay moisturizer but the scent is heavy on the herbal side which I didn't care for. This brand is cruelty free, though!

Revo lip balm: It was all right. I've had a few others and this one probably had the best scent/flavor. But it's really waxy and doesn't last long on the lips. Because this is a Walgreens brand, it's not CF.

 

DIRTY AND HAIRY IS NO WAY TO GO THROUGH LIFE

Bath and Body Works foaming hand soap: Most of their scents are spot on for me. Rainkissed Leaves was clean and fresh, not too heavy; Coastal Water Lily was too strong (but lilies can be very heady); the Kitchen Lemon is the best. Unfortunately, BBW sells their products in China so even though they are CF here in the US, they are basically supporting animal testing elsewhere. Honestly, though, if I can't find another soap/candle/body wash brand that works for me, I will probably continue to purchase these few things from them.

Sally Hansen spray on hair remover: This stuff has an overpowering smell, as do most depilatories. But I like the convenience of a spray on. It works pretty well on thick coarse hair (read: bikini line) but I still need to use a wash cloth to help remove the foam/hair (even though you're supposed to be able to just rinse it off). Sally Hansen isn't cruelty free.

 

Okay. That covers the last couple of months. Tune in around mid-July for the next installment!

3B April 2016 Review

I'm still on the fence about whether or not I want to keep this subscription. Over a week ago I stared using one of the products I got a few months back and my skin started breaking out. Ugh. Even without the cruelty free issues, I'm not sure the 50/50 odds I'm getting on the skin care  is enough to keep this.

For those who may not know, 3B is a monthly subscription service that provides 4-5 sample sized (sometimes full) Asian beauty products. If you'd like to check them out, go here: 3B

Botanic Farm Mask: I so love sheet masks. Rice is supposed to help purify skin and is good for sensitive skin. So that's cool. Since I'm doing body/face paint for a convention in a couple days, I'll use this afterwards to see if it helps my face recover! Full size value of $2.

Lador Sleeping Clinic Ampoule: This is one of those hair treatments that's supposed to help severely damaged hair. As I don't bleach or color my hair right now, I'm not sure how much it will help. Maybe I'll gift it to someone. This is full size and runs $5 (or $3 on sale at MemeBox)

Benton Honest Cleansing Foam: Again, I'm a little leery of this because the last skin care product broke me out - and I believe this brand also broke me out. But it's usually the creams or serums that do it so hopefully this cleanser won't screw me over. This little sample is maybe worth $1. Full size is $10.

Too Cool for School Egg Mellow Cream: I did try one of the packets already. Nice thick cream and felt really good. I don't know if longer use will break me out but after the first trial, I'm hopeful it'll be fine. Not sure how much came in each little packet but there are 7 of them so you could use them once a day for a week to get an idea of how your skin likes it. Full size, 50g, is about $24.

It's Skin Babyface Eyeshadow: If my research is right, this company IS cruelty free. I have a face power I've been using for a long time that is awesome. So I'm excited for this shadow. And look at that color! These little pans will cost you around $5.

If I give a $3 value to the little packets of face cream, which is probably pretty generous, this month's bag value is about $16. That's kinda skimpy and a little disappointing but it's the first time the value of the bag has been so low. If it happens again, I might get off the 'considering' fence and migrate into full on cancellation land. We'll see...

Petit Vour April 2016

A quick recap: I've been trying to go cruelty free with my makeup. And in that pursuit, I thought I'd try out a beauty subscription service that provides ALL cruelty free/organic/vegan products. Petite Vour is such a subscription service. I only signed up for three months to test it out (as opposed to a subscription - which will run you about $15 each month). If you'd like to check them out, go here: PETIT VOUR

Petit Vour comes in a cute little pink box. After you open it, the "Be Bold. Be Kind." slogan stares up at you with its big soft bunny eyes. It's actually kinda cool. I even love that the card inside, which has all the product info/pricing on the back (TAKE NOTE, IPSY), greets me with a hearty "hooray" and a spray of flowers. That other card is specific to one of the products - extra directions and info. It was a little intimidating. You'll understand when I describe it.

As the items in this box are organic and vegan and all that jazz, don't be surprised by some higher price tags.

Studio 78 Paris Organic Makeup (eyeshadow): The grey swatches you see are of the color eyeshadow I received. Really nice dark grey color with a taupe undertone. Very different. You can keep it light so more of that taupe shows through or build it up to a nice charcoal grey. Apparently no chemicals and bad shit in this brand's makeup so that's good! This will cost you $31-34.  

Kumari River Bath & Body Oil: I do like a nice body oil. You can either put a few dropper fulls into your bath water or rub it into your skin (unless you get the hose again...) after 'hydrotherapy' - read: shower/bath/steam/19th century therapy for mental illness. It smells really nice - little minty, little citrus. I'll try it out this weekend at Comic Con. The gods know I'll probably need some good hydrotherapy at least once. This sample bottle is $8.50 (full size $34).

Bedrock & Bloom Smart Ash Teeth Whitener (extra card was for this product): Okay this stuff scared me a little. It's a black powder that you use to whiten your teeth. Yes, seems contradictory, I know. Just wet your toothbrush, dip it in the powder, and brush your teeth. They give specific instructions and helpful hints to keep your bathroom and yourself relatively clean (this stuff stains, obvi). And I think it actually works. The sample is worth $3, a full jar will cost you $30. But a little goes a very long way.

Arrrgghh and avast, ye scurvy scallywags!

Arrrgghh and avast, ye scurvy scallywags!

Juara Hand & Nail Balm: Like everything made with coconut something or other, this cream is nice but a little heavy on the coconut scent. It also doesn't really feel like my skin is that much softer or smoother after using it. Maybe I need to use more at once time? This sample tube is $2.50. Full size is $25.

If I had set this up as a monthly subscription, my $15 would have gotten me $45 worth of stuff. That's pretty dang good! I'm excited to see how the next two boxes stack up (ha! see what I did there?).

  

 

 

Universal Yums April 2016 Box

Pizza in Poland is often topped with: A. Ketchup; B. Sour Cream; C. Mayonnaise; D Spaghetti Sauce.

If you really wanna know the answer, comment on this post!

This was just one of the trivia questions in April's Universal Yums box. For those who may not know, UY is a monthly food subscription. For $13 (which is the size we pay for) or $25 each month, you'll receive a box full of snacks and candy from a different county. It's so fun to get these and try foods that might not be something we here in America automatically turn to for sustenance. Or a gluttonous night of binge watching TV shows.

Check out this service here: UNIVERSAL YUMS

As you've probably figured out by now, this month brings us snacks from Poland. I have tried everything in this one and I must say....sooooo goooood!

Onion Potato Prazynki: these are Poland's version of the potato chip. The texture is...odd to say the least. Kind of like really thin styrofoam. But the flavor is phenomenal!

Katarzynki Dark Chocolate Gingerbread: not my favorite. The gingerbread texture is airy and spongy which makes me think it's stale. Also the molasses content is too high for me making it more bitter. But the chocolate is awesome.

Krowki Milky Cream Fudge: Very nice flavor on these. They do have a dryer fudge consistency so they aren't messy or gooey. Just soft and creamy and delicious.

E Wedel Chalwa: This is like eating the inside of a Butterfinger but instead of a peanut base it's sesame seed. Not super sweet and a little flakier and drier than it's American counterpart. But still good.

Prince Polo Hazelnut: Remember those sugar wafer cookies we grew up with (that are actually still made today)? This is a similar consistency - creamy hazelnut filling between layers of wafers then covered with chocolate. It's not as sweet as ours, which is a good thing, and it's probably my second favorite treat this month!

Solidarnosc Candied Plums: Basically it's chocolate covered dried fruit. I've had several versions of that here in the US but never plums. The plum gives a nice unique sweetness to this treat. Dare I say I liked it better than chocolate covered dried cherries? Yes, I dare.

Wawel Raczki "Lobster Tails": I don't know why these are called lobster tails. The booklet says that it's because of the pink & white candy shell. Huh? Whatever. The outer candy shell is thin and sweet and there's a crispy peanut filling inside with a hint of rum! Yes, please!

Milka Chocolate Covered Cow: No, it's not real cow. It's a cow shaped cookie with chocolate coating on one side. The cookie tastes like a mixture of pretzel, graham cracker, and vanilla and the chocolate is delicious!

E Wedel Panna Cotta Milk Chocolate Bar: O.M.F.G. This is the best snack in the box. I've had Polish chocolate before and it's fantastic. This, with sweet cream filling and raspberry preserves - HOLY FUCKING SHIT. You know how Ambrosia is supposedly the food of the gods? NOPE. It's this stuff! And I bet you can find it at a local Polish market. If not....RAAAAMPAAAAGGGEEEE!!

I'm tempted to say this month might have edged out the France box, even though that one was twice the size. I really would have paid $13 just for that Panna Cotta bar. 

The clue given for next month makes us think it's Greece so I'm excited to see what we'll get!

Ipsy April 2016 Review

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10, you will get a (sometimes) cute beauty bag with 4-5 samples, or full sized, beauty, skin, and hair products. It's a nice way to try new brands without committing to the full price tag! Check them out here: IPSY

I think from this point on I will try to remember to mark which brands are cruelty free (CF).

The theme for April is Dream On. WHHHHYYYYYYYY ARE THEY SO USELESS WITH THESE FUCKING THEMES??? The bag is kind of cute, though. The back is a bright yellow with tie-dye colors mixed in. I'm not mad at it. But the contents.....let's just break them down.

Crown Duo-Fiber Blush Brush: I always like getting brushes. I've received one or two Crown brushes before and they are awesome. So damn soft! They retail for about $24. That, right there, already covers the value of an Ipsy subscription. (CF - as far as their synthetic brushes go. Not sure how they can guarantee their suppliers of animal hair brushes are harvested cruelty free but that's what they claim).

Tarte Cosmetics LipSurgence Lip Creme: (right swatch below) I was super excited to get this. Tarte is one of those higher end brands that I've only ever purchased once with my own money (eye shadow palette that was decent). This is a generous sample size. The lip crayon is very creamy and has a nice minty scent - but it's not super strong so if you're sensitive to that, it shouldn't bother you too much. Full size is .1 ounces ($24) so this .05 sample runs about $12. And look at that color. So pretty! (CF)

Ok. That's about all I like from this bag. Let's get to the rest.

Nomad Cosmetics Eye Shadow in Desert Sands: Oh yay. Another bronze shade. Awesome. While the color is beautiful (left swatch above), feels soft, and it's a decent sample size, I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF BRONZE COLORS. Cripes. I know they want to put in colors that are more universal but shit - BRONZE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE, YOU KNOW. I can't find a price on this as it looks like the brand doesn't sell these individually but you can see the whole palette this comes from along with other palettes - which actually look pretty gorgeous and a good deal for everything you get. (CF)

Briogeo Overnight Hair Oil Treatment: While this concept is slightly intriguing, I don't look forward to the mess it will create. Since I'm not bleaching and coloring my hair right now, I don't really need this product. But I'll hang on to it just in case that changes....HAHA! Who am I kidding? I'll be so bored with my grey in about 2 months, I can feel it...Full size is 2 ounces ($28) so this sample of .3 ounces is probably around $9. (CF)

Juliette Has a Gun: It's called Not a Perfume so then what the fuck is it, JHAG? Oh, it's just a 'minimal scent', whatever the fuck that means. Personally I think it smells like algae water that passed through an isopropyl alcohol factory where an Orc grabbed it, drank it down then pissed it out onto a hobbit's head. This .16 ounce sample is about $20 (50 mls will cost you $100 and 100 mls is $135). (CF)

For the products I found pricing on, this bag is worth about $65. Pretty slick, Ipsy. Though I'm not super excited about 3 of the 5 products (#firstworldproblems, I know), I can't be too angry because they all come from companies that practice cruelty free/vegan/eco-friendly business.

See you all next month!

 

 

 

 

 

3B March 2016 Beauty Box

Okay, yes. I had the wrong month on the last review. For some reason I thought I missed one but apparently, I didn't. So last month was February and THIS month is March.

Glad we cleared that up.

3B is a monthly beauty subscription box. For $12 a month you get 4-5 samples/full sized Asian beauty, hair, skin products. Click on the link to get one for yourself!

Dermal Dream Sea Cucumber mask: You know I love face masks. I'm very excited to try this out. Apparently this brand, and this particular mask, are INFAMOUS in Korea. La dee dah! (sorry can't find a link for it)

Skinfood My Shortcake mascara: I also love trying different mascaras. This one is supposed to thicken, lengthen (soooo dirty...), and darken my lashes. It also dries quickly and is smudgeproof. My oily eyelids accept that challenge! Full size and it goes for about $7 on Amazon.

Secret Key Witch Hazel toner: I've used straight up witch hazel as a toner before so this is cool. But I think there's added fragrance in here because it doesn't smell as...earthy as regular witch hazel. This is full size and runs around $29!

CosRx Blackhead Silk Finger Balls: My word there's a lot of dirty innuendo in this post. These are little hard (hooo boy) cotton pods that go on your fingers. You soak them in hot water for a couple of minutes then "massage the desired area (wow) with the softened pod". And as I post the picture below, I can't help but notice a slight pornographic nature in it. You can get 2-3 uses from each one. A set of 12 (which is what I believe I got) costs around $5.

I can't even...

Just those three products I could find on-line are valued at about $41. Nice! You guys should get this service, too. Then we can all be dirty together.

Walmart Spring Beauty Box 2016

This will be my final Walmart subscription. I decided to cancel it as this Spring box didn't offer one product from a company that's cruelty free. For those of you who've read my blog, I'm trying to use as many beauty products as I can from companies that don't test on animals. I'm sure I won't be 100% successful in this quest but I'll do my best!

That said, let's get into this review. If you'd like to get your own box, check them out here: Walmart Beauty Box

(I've only tried the little foil samples of products (3) and the foundation samples but the rest I've collected to donate somewhere - by the way, if anyone reading this wants any of this, just contact me!)

Vera Wang Embrace perfume: while the smell is okay, I do love that it came in a mini spray bottle, not one of those teeny tube/wand combos that are IMPOSSIBLE to open without spilling the product everywhere.

Neutrogena Colorstick in Almond Nude: I actually got rid of this exact same shade in my makeup cull recently. It's a nice nude color. I didn't even take the plastic off so I can donate it as brand spanking (ohhhh) new.

Cetaphil Cleanser: nice travel/sample size. I've heard good things about this brand.

Jergens Wet Skin Moisture: this is one of those in shower moisturizers. I have another tube exactly like this that I hadn't even opened yet so I'm planning to give both of them away. The smell is really nice.

Colgate Optic White: this product I kept. If I didn't need to use sensitive toothpaste, I'd be using this. Very good at keeping teeth white without any extra strips or whitening products. So the hubs gets it!

Aveeno Night Cream: Nice little sample size. Can't say if it's any good though!

Roc Multi Correction Cream: I've used the Roc Retinol products before, which work well, but I've never used this one. I'm guessing it's probably pretty good.

Banana Boat Sunscreen: We just bought a big tube of this brand, but not this exact product, before our Florida trip last month. That stuff is okay. Little heavy on the scent but seems to work just fine. 

For the foil packets/little smidge of products:

Neutrogena Healthy Skin liquid makeup/Acne Correct & Cover tinted moisturizer: The first two shades would have worked for me, one as a peachy concealer for dark circles and the other for pure foundation. The tinted moisturizer was the wrong shade for me.

L'Oreal Miracle Blur: didn't notice any blurring effect of this stuff (it's used like a make up primer). But it did ball up on itself so...that sucked.

Olay Regenerist Micro Sculpting Cream and Tone Perfecting Cream: Both felt nice but left my skin feeling kind of dry. Even if I wasn't going cruelty free I'd never buy this stuff.

There were also coupons for most of the products in here, which is cool if you end up falling in love with one of them. Pretty good value for $7, right? *shrugs* Fare thee well, Walmart. I wish you happiness and success!

Universal Yums March 2016 Box

For those who may not know, Universal Yums is a food subscription service. For $13 (or $25) a month, you get a box filled with yummy treats from around the world -  a different country each time. Check them out!   UNIVERSAL YUMS

This month brings us goodies from the Philippines! (don't mind the spelling error on the front cover of the booklet - they got it right everywhere else). It's unusual that the hubs and I eat most of the snacks before I can write up a review. But aside from maybe 4 candies, this baby is GONE.

Golden Sweet Corn - this went pretty fast. There are supposedly only 2 servings in the whole thing but we made it last for days. They're the consistency of cheesy poofs but they taste straight up like sweet corn in the middle of summer. SO DAMN GOOD. I need to contact the UY folks to see if we can buy this anywhere!!

Pandan Cake (green package) - little dry but it tasted like a nice light vanilla cake.

Goldilocks Polvoron (purple and brown wrappers up  front) - these are shortbread cookies. I had the purple one (Ube flavor - purple yam). Not too sweet. Kind of tasted like taro. Very yummy. The other is cookies and cream flavor, which I don't like, so the hubs got that one.

Pinky Goodies Butterscotch Bar - you can't see the package but it's in there. It was a small moist cake. It was white chocolate flavored but I could taste the butterscotch more. It was really good.

King Choc Nut - I didn't know what to expect with these. They're small little squares of chocolate but the consistency is what I imagine chalk would be if not pressed into a stick. Though that was weird, it was DELICIOUS. 

Lipps Mango Candy is supposed to color your lips, like other hard candies can, but not so much. Flavor was outstanding though. XO Coffee candy tasted like coffee with cream and a little sugar. Awesome. The only candy we haven't tried are the Melon Dew Menthol candies. You can probably imagine why.

So aside from the big ass France box we got in February, I think this one has been the biggest success for us. Usually we take a long time to eat through everything to help it last until the next box. But now we have to wait SOOOOO LOOOOONNNGG for April! Which might be Poland, if we deciphered the clues correctly. If you're not getting this box, I highly recommend you give them a try!

Ipsy March 2016 Review

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service for beauty, skin, and hair care products. For  $10 each month, you will receive 4-5 samples (sometimes full size) to try. It's a nice way to test drive a new brand without committing to the full price.

(as always, I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

This month's theme is Hello Spring, however useless that may be. The bag is okay. The print is nice enough but the material is really weird. Almost feels like those LeSac bags that were popular in the 80s. Yes, that just dated me. Shut up.

Living Proof Dry Shampoo - I like a good dry shampoo. Don't know if this is one but I've another hair product from this brand that I like quite a bit. So fingers crossed! This 1.8 ounce can goes for $12.

Nourish Organics Body Oil Mist - Not exactly sure how this can be a mist via squeezie tube but I'll give it a shot (full size is actually a spray bottle - okay, that makes sense). I've only tested it on dry skin. Not that great. I bet this works better on damp skin, like right after a shower. I'll let you know! Full size (3 ounces) is $20 so this .5 ounce tube is about $3 (UPDATE: Yes, it works much better on damp skin and it's pretty awesome)

Me Me Me Loose Powder Brush - I am NEVER mad at getting a brush in these subscriptions. And though I've never heard of this brand, the brush is super soft. It's the perfect size for putting loose powder on my face. I've already used it a half a dozen times. Love. It goes for 14 pounds which is $20 US.

Temptu Brozer - I think this is supposed to be for those airbrush machine thingies. I got a highlighter from this brand early on in my subscription service. And while I don't have one of those airbrush machine thingies, I can still use this. It's a liquid so a little goes a long way. It looks kind of orange in the swatch but it blends out even further so it looks very natural on my skin tone. Full size, 8 ml, goes for $35. So this .25 ounce bottle (which, if I did my math correctly, should be just over 7 mls) is pretty comparable in the price point. Holy crap.

NYX Liquid Suede Cream Lipstick - for those of you who've been reading my posts for a bit already know how I feel about these. Ugh. Disappointed that I got one in my bag this month. I thought maybe because this color is lighter than the one I originally purchased it might be better. Not really. It definitely doesn't look as shitty as the darker color and it sure as hell isn't as drying. But it's patchy and wears off weird. I may not have put an even layer on, though, so I'll play with it a few more times. I got the color Pink Lust and while it's something I don't normally wear, because neon, it is strangely appealing. This is a full size, though, and it goes for $7.

Damn. The value of this bag is about $75 (give or take a few for conversion oopsies). That's pretty good. Whoop!

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs (March 2016 Edition)

Yes! I'm still on schedule! Enjoy it while it lasts, people.

PDs (Panty Droppers)

Nivea Men Post Shave Balm - I know what you're saying. Uh, Peggy, that's a MEN'S product. Yes, yes it is. But apparently one of the beauty mavens on YouTube used this in place of her moisturizer (because she was at her boyfriend's place and didn't have any) and noticed how great it was as a primer. And damn if she wasn't right! Its main ingredient is glycerin which is what helps makeup last longer on your face. It feels so nice on the skin and it smells like boy. It is a strong smell so it's not for everyone. But I love it. Comes in a sensitive formula, too.

ELF Makeup Mist & Set - I've been using this makeup setting spray for years. I think this might be my fifth bottle (it lasts a long time, btw). No major scent that I can tell and it helps my makeup last so much longer than without it. And it's like $3! I linked their site but you can get this brand at Meijer and Target and possibly Walgreens or Walmart.

L'Oreal Infallible Pro-Matte Foundation - I'm not a huge foundation gal. I have a few but I usually reach for a BB or CC cream first. But I got this on a whim and tried it a few times. Damn if this stuff doesn't make my skin look awesome. I thought it would look too dry, as it's matte, but it really doesn't. And it stays on the skin for HOURS! As in, all day. Good stuff.

Kat Von D Tattoo Liquid Eyeliner - Several people had recommended this product so eventually I caved and spent the $20 to get one. Um...worth every penny. I got the Mad Max Brown color and it's gorgeous. It dries down and doesn't fucking move all day. After about 8 hours, the wing I'd made did start to break down but I have watery eyes so I think that contributed to it. Otherwise, this liner is TITS!

 

MEHs

Maybelline Dream Velvet Foundation (left swatch) - I admit. YouTube reviews made me want this. And while the color is a decent match for me (nice pink undertone) and the foundation feels nice, it looks awful. I've tried blending this with brushes and sponges and both ways look dry and cakey on me. It looks nice on a lot of people. Just not me.

Milani Eyebrow Gel (middle swatch) - I love Milani products so when they came out with an eyebrow gel, I needed to get it. The color is awesome. It's a nice cool toned brown. And the brush is small (not as small as L'Oreal brow plumper but not as big as NYX's brow gel) so it's easy to work with. The trouble is I can't get any fucking product on the damn brush! No matter how many times I dip that into the tube, barely anything comes out. I had to dip it 3 times to get that swatch above. And, once it dries, it flakes. A lot. *is sad* Maybe if I had more brow hairs to hold onto the product it would be better. I think it is one of those fiber gels. Oh well. They have other stuff I can try next!

Colourpop Highlighter  (right swatch) - Now, I love a lot of CP stuff. I do want to do a one-brand review soon. But every now and again, something just hits me wrong. When I first got this, I thought it was a beautiful soft gold/champagne highlight with a little shimmer. And while the product itself is wonderful and the color is gorgeous, it's mostly glitter. I've tried it for weeks and on days when my skin was drier or softer or really hydrated. It still looks the same. I don't mind some glitter now and again but I just couldn't get down with this, no matter how much I wanted to. I linked their whole highlighter page because they have others that are awesome.

 

GFYs (Go Fuck Yourselves)

CVS Eye Makeup Remover - I've used this stuff a lot but someone somewhere along the food chain of CVS product development totally fucked this up. The "NEW" label obviously means "Useless and Burny" because that's what this is. You can see how much I used of the contents before screaming my rage from my rooftop.

Acure Day Cream - Maybe I should have put this in the MEH category but any skin care product that breaks me out deserves to be shoved down the garbage disposal. Loved the smell. Hated the product.

Too Faced Shadow Insurance - Um, for a brand that's so fucking pricey, I expected more. I don't mean quantity as this is a sample. But I mean in quality. The eye shadows I've used aren't that great and this primer follows suit. It doesn't work that well and after a month or so started separating (as in when I squeezed the tube, nasty oily liquid splooged out). What the hell, TF? 

Rimmel Stay Glossy - I know it looks pink in the tube but it's basically colorless. If I wanted colorless gloss, that's what I'd buy. Also the shimmers have separated from the gloss (2nd pic - that dark pink band is where I swiped the applicator in the bottle). If I have to mix my gloss every time...fuck you, Rimmel. (can't find the color I have - SHOCKING - so I linked another one)

Wet & Wild Megalast Liquid Lip Color - Not sure if W&W was trying to be like the bazillion other liquid lipsticks out there but I think they missed. While the color on these are gorgeous, there's so much glitter in them that they feel gritty. Like 40 grade sandpaper. Yeah, that's exactly what I want to put on my mouth. Jerks.

Swisspers Cotton Swabs - Yep. I'm still of the school of thinking that anything less than the Q-Tip brand is not worth a bucket of spit. And when you can get 300 Swisspers for $1, don't put that shit anywhere near your body. Use it for arts and crafts or something. Not your face or your ears, okay? I don't even have the package anymore because I threw them all into my crafting bag.

 

All righty. That covers the last two months. Come back and see me in May when I will praise, shrug off, or set a flame the next list of products.

 

3B February Beauty Box

At this point, I may have confused myself on which month exactly this recent bag came. I know I missed a review, or at least thought I did. Hopefully by the next month, I'll have this figured out. So for now, let's just pretend this is the March 3B bag!

For those who may not know, 3B is a beauty subscription service. For $12 a month you get 4-5 sample/full size beauty products from Asia (mostly Korea and Japan right now). If you'd like to check them out, head over to: the3bbox.com

(I purchase this with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

Lioele Eyelash Curler: Well, if I curled my lashes ever, this would be an awesome product. It even comes with replacement cushions. How cool is that? But this will have to be regifted. My lashes are already a little curled up so I don't need to squish them any further. Up for grabs! Just let me know. $3.50 value.

Benton Snail Bee High Content Steam Cream: I'm not sure if this is supposed to be used in conjunction with steam or just like a daily moisturizer. But I'm willing to give it a shot! Claims: "Snacil mucin supports natural cell regeneration and replenishes moisture to increase firmness, and bee venom has natural anti-inflammatory, anti-bacterial, and anti-viral properties. The gel-like essence is also fragrance free! Best recommended for those with sensitive and troubled skin."  50g goes for $12.00 so this 5g tube is about $1.

Leaders Black Aqua Pore Scaling Mask: I love me a good face mask. This one looks like it's got some cleansing and purifying elements to it so I'm excited to try it out. Pore minimizers don't always work but I'm forever hopeful. This is full sized and goes for $22. Whoa.

Etude House Look At My Eyes Cafe Eye Shadow: Isn't that a pretty gold color? Though I'm getting a little sick of the bronze/gold colors that every bag seems to include, this give a nice soft wash of color for those 'no make up' make up days and it can be built up to look brighter. I've already used it a couple of times and I really like it. Depending on what site you go to, this can retail from $3 - $8.

Not that thrilled with the value of this bag but still, paying $12 and getting a little more than double that in products ain't all bad!

Ipsy February 2016 Review

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription. For $10 each month, you will received 4-5 samples (some full size) of beauty, skin, and hair products. It's a great way to try new brands without committing to a high price tag! Check them out at www.ipsy.com

(I purchase this each month with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

This month's theme is Pretty In Pink. Don't know if that's a nod to the 30th anniversary of the John Hughes' film of the same name but whatever. Still useless.

At first glance the bag had me shaking my head but I quickly fell in love with it. I have no idea why but I did. So sue me for being a girly girl.

Dr. Brandt Pore Dermabrasion exfoliator: I love exfoliators, unless they're too harsh. Haven't tried this one yet but I've heard of the brand. Not sure if I had something from them before...Anyway, a 2 ounce size goes for $58. So this 1/8 ounce values out at around $7.25. Hope it doesn't suck.

Promise Organic face lotion: I like to try different face creams and you can actually get this at CVS. Full size, 1.7 ounces, is $15. This sample is about 1/3 size so it costs around $5.

Smashbox Primer Oil: I've heard a few reviews on this. It's not so much a face primer to help your makeup last longer but more of a skin prep to help moisturize your face to get it ready for primer and makeup. I'm oily but I get dry in the winter so this could be cool. 1 ounce costs $42 so this 1/10th size sample costs about $4.

Tre'Stique Baby Blush Stick: I've gotten the eye shadow stick before which is drier than a popcorn fart and just as difficult to deal with. This blush stick is very soft, almost dries to a powder finish, but is a little tricky to blend. The color is peach with a pink undertone (though it looks pretty orange in the swatch). Very flattering. Don't know how much you get in the full size ($34) but I'll take a guess at 1/3 the size so let's say this sample is around $10.

Trust Fund Nail Polish: The color is called "I'm Kind Of a Big Deal". HA! I've received this brand before. And just like that one, this color is nice but pretty patchy. It's kind of thick so two coats will peel very easily off the nail. *shrug* This is a full size so it's worth $15.

Overall, a $41 value is pretty good. I'm happy with this one!

3B February Beauty Box

Ooopsie. Got behind again. You can blame Florida. Took a little trip down there with the hubby for some vacation and I had to seriously think about what to pack because I knew the weather was going to be a tit bit nipply the whole time we were there. So I got distracted. Unfortunately, that means I forgot to do a review for January. 

3B is a monthly subscription service of all Asian beauty and skin care products. For $12 a month, you get 4-5 samples (some full size) to try out. Check out their website. www.3bbox.com

(I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

I've only been able to try a couple things from this month's box.

The Missha Speedy Solution Eye Gel patch was okay. Weird texture - they felt more like gel than an essence like most patches do. Don't think they did anything for my under eye but they felt cool. Go for $2.50. I also got through the CosRx Snail Essence serum packets. My skin didn't look or feel different at all so it was just a big waste of time. Full bottle goes for about $18.

The Dry Foot Pack from PetitFee looks interesting. Not really sure how it will work but could be fun. The company website doesn't show you can order it but on eBay is goes anywhere from $3-$5. The little jar is Botanic Farms Grain Ferment Cleansing Sherbet. It's more of a waxy solid that melts with the heat of your body. Their site shows it goes for $30. The glass bottle in the back, full size, is a 3W Clinic Collagen Whitening Essence. Usually 'whitening' means to brighten the skin or lighten acne scars or old blemishes, not actually change the color of your skin. I'm excited to try it! On 3W's website, this goes for $25 (but you can find it cheaper elsewhere).

I don't have a great opinion on this month because I only had a chance to try 2 of the items and they weren't that great. I might love the rest but I'll have to let you know!

Universal Yums January/February 2016

Again, I got too distracted by life to remember to write up a January UY review. That's okay, though. I'll just put it here with the February one!

Universal Yums is a monthly food subscription service. For $13 or $25 a month, you'll get a box filled with international snacks and candy. I purchase the smaller one with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones. Check out there site!  www.universalyums.com

January - Turkey

I've tried almost all of the stuff in this box. The Dankek Orange cake was a little dry but the flavor was great. The Krokan (the sesame thing on the right) was nice. Not too sweet or overwhelming of sesame. The Mastic gum was AWFUL! Tasted like I was chewing on a balloon. Every wrapper comes with a fortune but it's in Turkish so I have no idea what it says! The NutyMax hazelnut cream bar is, by far, THE best snack in this box. So creamy! The Albeni Biscuit tasted like a fat Twix bar. The Toffix fruit chews are awesome! Soft and chewy with a sweet filling. Very yummy!

Haven't tried the Pizza crackers yet. And that thing on the left, that looks like a giant vacuum wrapped turd, is apparently an aphrodisiac made of grapes, molasses, and walnuts. I have to admit, I'm a little nervous about that one. Overall, I loved the uniqueness of this box!

 

February brought us the bigger sized box because the folks over at YU apparently love their customers. Isn't that awesome?!? So we got double the treats this month and I've pretty much eaten all of it.

 I'll mention the two treats I haven't tried first: the Gourmand Fruit lollipops and the bubble gum. The gum comes with a temporary tattoo in each piece. How cool is that? It also claims to produce the largest bubbles in the world. Challenge accepted, France...

I've tasted or finished off all the rest. The Ker Cadelac palets taste like shortbread but not quite as buttery. Still good though! The Rochambeau cheese puffs are definitely stinky but they taste like a regular cheesy poof with just a slightly stronger flavor. The Madeleines are the hubby's favorite so I'm going to let him finish them. Moist buttery cakes. So good!

The Lutti caramels are cool. They have a hard candy shell and a soft smooth center. Delicious. I demolished the Nougat bar in about 5 minutes. I love me some nougat and this contained pistachios and almonds. MMMMMMM. Rose Pastilles are good...at first. I love the flavor of rose candy (who knew?). These have the rose on the outside and black licorice on the inside. I hate black licorice so I just suck on these until the rose flavor disappears. Then I spit them out.

Loc Marie dark chocolate Crepe Dentelles are amazeballs! Dark chocolate covered crispy crepe layers. So damn good! I have to be careful not to eat them all before the hubby can have a few. The Lemon cookies were great. Like shortbread with a lemon filling on top (you know how jam thumbprint cookies have a chewy jam on the top? same thing here only lemon). Carambars are okay. They are rather hard but it suggests to soften them in the microwave. Might have to try that because they're super sticky. LiquiCroc chocolate dragees are ok. The chocolate shell is meh but the salted caramel filling is great!

Fantastic box this month. So delicious! We can't figure out the clue for next month, though. It's a bit of a head-scratcher. I'll be back next month to let you know!

Ipsy January 2016 Review

Here we are in the new year with another Ipsy review. For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly beauty subscription service. For $10 each month you get 5 samples (sometimes a full size or two) of makeup, skin care, and/or hair products. It's a great way to try new things but not be committed to a higher price tag. Check them out: www.ipsy.com

(I purchase this subscription with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones) 

All Eyes On You is the January theme. I really wish they'd make a card that gives a description of all the items and their monetary value. So completely useless. I like the material of the bag this month but the print is really not me. That will be going into the donation pile. I'm sure someone else will like it!

Mitchell and Peach Body Cream: This is the only product I haven't tried yet. I just finished up some body butter from my Walmart box so I think I'll open this one next. I'll let you know how it goes. Full size is about $51 for six ounces so this one ounce size runs $8.5 (assuming the conversion rate I used it up to date - this stuff is from Britain).

Purlisse Eye Serum: Yes, this is a teeny sample size but since you only need a little bit each use, this will last a long time. But for someone else because I don't like it. It burns my skin. I'm pretty sure that's not the end goal here. A full size of this is .5 ounces and goes for $65 (WHAAAAT???) so the .24 ounces in the bag runs $32.50 (are they fucking high?).

(top pic)

City Color Eye Shadow Trio in Falling Leaves: I've loved most of the City Color stuff I've received before. And while these shadows aren't terribly pigmented and a bit powdery (I had to go in half a dozen times for the peachy highlight shade to show up) they are so frakkin pretty! And I'm not one who gravitates toward a lot of warm colors, particularly a burnt orange like in this trio. But I wore them the other day and these bitches did NOT move for at least eight to ten hours if not longer. This is a full sized product and goes for $6.

(bottom pic)

Peek Beauty Natural Stain Brow Powder: Very interesting product. It's made with henna and other oils. Cruelty free, natural and organic. Kinda cool. Explains the mostly powdery texture but it feels like it sticks better than a powder, if that makes sense. It definitely looks more reddish on my brow than in the swatch but with a darker brow gel over it, it works pretty well. You can use the powder alone for a soft look or build it up for heavy glam. I can't find just one brow color pan (on the site it shows 2 per pan) so let's call this $11 (both colors go for $22). 

The Balm Cosmetics Mr. Write Now Eyeliner: I don't have a lot of theBalm cosmetics because they are a little pricey. The shadow sample I got in an Ipsy bag last year was pretty nice as is this eyeliner. My color is Scott B. Bordeaux, a nice wine/plum color. It's a little on the dry side but I think that's why it's staying power is so good. It can be smudged out a bit but you have to work at it a little. Lasted a good eleven hours before it started to break down. This is full sized and goes for $17.

Holy shit. The total value of this bag is about $75! Daaayuum. Naturally the most expensive thing in here is the one that I hate the most but I'm happy about the rest of it. Good job, Ipsy.

Morgue Drawer

It hasn't even been two months yet but I think I need to do this post. I had a lot of samples to talk about plus some regular every day crap. If I wait too much longer I might have to break this up into three posts! Heavens to Betsy!

Face and Eyeballs

Mario Badescu Eye Cream: I got a sample of this in one of my subscription bags. And it is awesome. So moisturizing, no crazy smell. Nothing will get rid of my smile lines (and why would I want them to go away?) but this cream is so nice to use. I also have a little dry patch near the corner of my eye and this stuff really helped diminish it - and nothing has worked that well before. Nothing.

Josie Moran Face Oil (Argan): This stuff smells fantastic. And my face felt so soft afterwards. But the foil packet totally failed so I couldn't get more than one use from it. *sadness ensued*

Burt's Bees Renewal Serum: I've talked about this before. This is my second bottle. Though I thought it was gentle enough to use twice a day, I noticed that my skin dries out if I do that. So I stick to night time use (though right now I haven't repurchased because I've got a bottle of ROC Retinol treatment to finish).

Ahava Purifying Mud Mask: This stuff was okay. It smelled rather strong, like a combination spa/herbal scent. It was also gritty so it felt a little rough on my face. It's definitely not as purifying as a Freeman mud mask I use. It also started to sting after I worked halfway through the tube.

Olay Tone Perfecting Cream Moisturizer: My skin felt like BUTTAH after using this. Unfortunately the sample size only allowed for one use and you can't really tell if it's working until after 8 weeks. So...there you go.

Origins GinZing Eye Cream: Does NOT depuff like it claims. "Brightens" is just a word these eye creams use because it has a shiny pearlized finish. It actually made my dark circles look worse.

Klorane Eye Patches: Arrrggghh! No, not those kind of eye patches. These were thick and soft under eye patches. They didn't really do anything but instead of sticking from being over saturated with essence, they had a gel like surface that clung to the skin. Kinda cool even if useless.

Sephora Honey Eye Mask: I had two of these (one I ordered and one I got in a beauty subscription, I think). The first set stung my skin but I wanted to try the second packet just in case that was a fluke. It was nicer the 2nd time and I left them on about 10 minutes longer. Nothing outstanding but nice.

 

Naked Time (aka body lotions)

Elite Therapeutics Body Cream: Smells quite a bit like the plastic tube it comes in but my skin felt really good. The softness lasted all day!

H20+ Sea Salt Hydrating Body Butter: Very nice! It wasn't greasy, smelled good, and the moisturizing lasted a long time.

H20+ Sea Amber Body Lotion: This stuff smelled great...at first (like citrus). But it quickly morphed into plastic. Does a great job at moisturizing, though.

DermaDoctor Brazillian Bombshell Body Lotion: This was probably my favorite sample of a body lotion. Very thick and moisturizing and lasted a long time. No scent. Left my skin with this glowy sheen - like a highlight for your body (not glitter - this is not stripper lotion). Maybe that's the skin perfecting element? Whatever. It's awesome.

Figs & Rouge Hand Cream: This was a sample I got in my very first Ipsy bag (back in October of 2014). Obviously I don't use the stuff regularly. I really liked it though. Kind of thin but did a decent job. The scent is Roseberry and that's exactly what it smells like - like a raspberry and a rose bush (heh) had a baby.

 

Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific

Total Repair 5 Deep Conditioner: Did not like this crap. My hair was so greasy and weighed down. Terrible. Looking at the packaging, it seems it's the same stuff as the bottle but believe me, it isn't.

Total Repair 5 Conditioner: This stuff is all right. When I still had a lot of dry and damaged hair from bleaching, this and the shampoo seemed to help smooth it out. Just waiting to use up the shampoo to start another brand.

Batiste Dry Shampoo (Blush): I love this brand though the scents can be overwhelming. Blush is definitely better than the cherry scent. I've recently purchase the Original and Fresh scent so we'll see how those go. But the formula cannot be denied. Best one I've tried. I haven't lied. I seriously died. Check out my ride...okay, I'll stop.

Marc Antony Argan Oil Hairspray: I think this is my second can. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this stuff. Smells fantastic! It's a soft hold so my hair doesn't feel crunchy or stiff. If you're looking for super hold stuff, this is probably not the hairspray for you. Otherwise, you need to get this immediately.

 

*giant powderpuff to the face* (aka Make Up)

Benefit Eye Primer: Meh. The first time I used it, my eye shadow totally faded in a few hours. The second time I put powder over it before the shadow and then it worked a little better. But I'm glad I just had a sample so I don't have to fuck with it again. 

Benefit Roller Lash Mascara: I did like this mascara (keep in mind I had the sample size). It's supposed to hold a curl really well but I don't need to curl my lashes. They naturally curl up a little bit so most mascaras work like this one did on me. Maybe this curled them just a smidge more.

Neutrogena Healthy Lengths Mascara: I like the formula on this. My lashes looked very natural and it gave just a touch of volume. It layered pretty well with other mascaras, too. But the tube dried out really fast which was disappointing. I think I accidentally bought this twice so we'll see if that tube lasts a little longer.

RiRe Lash Essence: Got this is a 3B box. It's supposed to help thicken or grow your lashes. Yeah...not so much. It was just like putting some kind of clear gel on my lashes that ended up stuck together when I woke up in the morning.

Essence Lash Princess Mascara: I adore this mascara! It's great at giving my lashes volume and the natural bristle brush separates my lashes so well. This was at least my 2nd tube. And it's inexpensive! And how can you not love that packaging?

 

Randomness

Zicam Nasal Swabs: When it comes to cold medicines or remedies, Zicam is at the top of my list. There are lozenges, melts, chewables, and these swabs. Some people protested the swabs years ago because it affected their sense of smell - but I think that's because they didn't follow the directions that say DON'T SHOVE THIS ALL THE WAY UP YOUR NOSE. The oral stuff affects my taste and upsets my stomach so the swabs are perfect. 

Bath and Body Works Foaming Hand Soap: First scent was from the Halloween line - Purrfect Potion. It was supposed to smell like pumpkin and cinnamon but all I got was sugary sweet. The Sea Island Cotton scent, though, was great. Smelled very fresh and clean. Will definitely repurchase! (the Halloween scents are no longer available but their Christmas stuff is on sale plus they have a ton of other scents available in their regular line)

Sensodyne Extra Whitening Toothpaste: I believe in my last MD I said I wanted to try the extra whitening because the gentle whitening sucked. Yeah, this stuff works so much better. Already repurchased. It's also great for any kind of regular sensitivity you might have. It doesn't do much for the exposed nerve on my #29 tooth but nothing short of a composite filling would.

 

That wasn't too terribly long, was it? I think I prefer doing one longer post every two months instead of breaking it up into multiple posts once a quarter. Hopefully you'll like reading it that way, too. Feel free to post your thoughts!

3B December 2015 Beauty Box

3B is a monthly subscription service of Asian beauty products. For $12 a month you get 4-5 samples/full sized products from Asia. It's a great way to discover so many cool things coming from Korea, Japan, and more. Check them out at https://the3bbox.com/  (I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones).

Everything this month (with one exception) is skin care. Which is cool with me! I always like to try new stuff, even if I seem to have some bad luck with break outs with new products.

It's Skin Prestige BB Cream - though this BB cream might have a little bit of a yellow undertone, this stuff is awesome. It's very thin and light - which I prefer - and blends out so well but it seems I need to use more because of it's consistency. I've tried it twice and am very sad it's such a small sample! 50 mls goes for about $17.

Etude House Wonder Pore Freshener - reading the description on this I think it's supposed to be a post cleansing toner. But it also claims to clean out your pores with peppermint extract. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a little scared by this one. You can get 8.5 oz on Amazon for $13.

Secret Key Lemon D-Toc Peeling gel - I believe this is full sized! love peeling masks but I'm confused by the description because it says to massage it into the skin then rinse off. So....do I peel or rinse? I need an adult! Found this on Amazon for about $13.

TonyMoly Sheet Mask - I've tried this wine one before from Meme Box. It didn't seem to do anything extra or beneficial but maybe with another try I'll notice something. If not, who cares? Sheet masks are fun! These run between $2-$4.

Boutique Bebe Hair Salon Vita Clinic Ampoule - I'm excited to try this. Never tried a deep conditioner that you put on BEFORE you get in the shower. You can use it on dry or damp hair then rinse it out after 20 minutes. Could be great for winter! This sample size goes for $2.

I'm excited for all this stuff (even the mask that didn't do anything before). I really enjoy this monthly subscription because I get to discover so many new and exciting products!

Ipsy December 2015 Review

The final Ipsy bag for 2015. Is it really the end of the year? What the fuck?

Ipsy is a monthly beauty subscription service that delivers 4-5 samples (sometimes a full size product) of beauty, skin care, and hair products for $10 each month. I purchase this with my own money and all opinion are my own. Check them out at: http//www.ipsy.com

The card this month was basically a thank you to all the subscribers for making Ipsy awesome. So...that was kind of nice, actually. The bag is a bright cherry red plastic with a quilted pattern. Sort of hideous but it's red so I dig it.

The RickyCare beauty sponge: the original Beauty Blender is getting a serious run for it's money with all these dupes out there. I personally use the Real Techniques one (because I'm not paying $20 for a sponge - RT is only $6). But this one feels so nice. It's almost like micro suede! I think this is full sized, too. Cost is $10 (still a bit pricey but the feel of it might be worth it).

Marc Anthony Coconut Oil Conditioning Treatment: I've used several products from this line (the hair spray is my favorite) but the last deep conditioning treatment left my hair greasy and weighed down. The Coconut oil might be better but I'm leery. This trial size is about $1.

Elizabeth Mott Eye Primer: I've heard of this brand but never tried anything from it. When I put it on but didn't powder set it before I put on eyeshadow my makeup totally faded and creased within a couple of hours. However, powdering it before applying eyeshadow makes it work much better. This sample is about $6 but full size is $20. That's a little pricey.

Tarte Cosmetics Amazonian Clay Finishing Powder: Tarte is one of those high-end brands so I was stoked to get it in my bag this month. I have one eyeshadow palette from them that is a little disappointing but I had high hopes for this powder. And aside from the slight white cast is gives me, my skin does look smooth and pretty when I used it. This sample is 1/2 the regular size and is worth about $7.

Pacifica Power of Love Natural Lipstick: Though the color says Nudie Red it's definitely warmer than I like. I don't love the color but the product itself is not bad. Very creamy, feels great on my lips, and lasts a while. The smell is a little overpowering (all their stuff smells like coconut) but I don't mind it. This is full-sized and worth $10.

I'm happy about the sponge, the lipstick, and the face powder. Looks like the whole bag is worth about $34 so that's cool!

Universal Yums December 2015 Review

Trying to stay on schedule here so I'm happy to present my December Universal Yums review! UY is a monthly subscription service that ships a box of delicious snacks from a different country every month straight to your door. I buy the smaller box, $13 each month, but there is a $25 option available as well. http://www.universalyums.com/

This month's snacks come from the United Kingdom! The card that comes with each box was seriously upgraded for December. It's more like a booklet. I hope it's permanent!

The snacks I've tried so far: Tayto, cheese and onion chips (or crisps). Delicious! The Meanies are a puffy crisp snack (the texture is like an original Cheeto) that is supposed to be a pickled onion flavor. It's kind of weird. Tastes mostly like mustard to me. The Chewies are a currant flavored chewy candy - think Now n Later but a bit softer - that are awesome! The Treacle Toffees are good (look at the lower right corner of the box - the white label down there). They are actually kind of chewy but still sticky so I had to be careful of my dental work! Side note: my hubby's grandmother used to eat these all the time so there IS a candy he's eaten that I hadn't! (a rarity in this household).

I haven't tried the Clove Drops hard candy (though I'm super excited because clove is one of my favorite spices), Turkish Delight, Jammie Dodgers, or the Drumstick Chew Bar (which feels kind of hard so I probably won't be eating that lest I want my crowns to all pop off). But only because we have a lot of holiday treats around here that need to be consumed quickly!

I'm very happy with this month's box. The hint for next month leads me to believe the snacks will come from Turkey. SO EXCITE!