Morgue Drawer April 2020

Who wants to trash talk? And by that I mean talk about my garbage, not bad mouth and gossip about bullshit and politics.

For the newbs, this is the post where I talk about all the products I’ve used up over the past few months. AKA empties. Let’s take a look!

BEAT THAT MUG

Colourpop Super Shock Shadow in Puppy Love: This was a limited edition shade for a fundraiser CP had. It supported dog rescue efforts so OF COURSE I had to buy it. It was a lovely, soft peach shade. Great for a simple, one-color-all-over look. I had it for years but it’s finally dried out. *WAAAAAH*

NYX Pore Filler Face Primer: This is one of those cream colored primers that blur the appearance of pores. This does work pretty well, but it can look a little dry. I probably won’t get it again.

Catrice Multi-Talent Fixing Spray: I love this stuff. It works great at sealing in my makeup, and it gives my skin a gorgeous glow (think shiny but not greasy or metallic). They have a Dewy and Glow version but I don’t think that one gives any better effect than this one. Personal choice, I guess!

So many mascaras…

Covergirl Clump Crusher: I used to love this before I went cruelty free a few years ago. But now that CG is cruelty free (HOORAY!), I bought this again. Unfortunately, it’s not as good as I remember. Doesn’t give much length or volume. It does separate the lashes nicely, but it works better if you layer it with something else.

The Balm Mad Lash: Love love love this mascara! Great at lengthening and adding volume. I usually don’t buy it because it’s $18. But as of my typing this, there’s a flash sale of 50% at the site. WHOOP! I hope that doesn’t mean they’re discontinuing it and are getting rid of stock…

Buxom Volumizing Mascara: I think this is the volumizing one. There’s no indication on the sample tube but it looks like the one on the Buxom website. It was…okay. Better as a layering mascara.

Medusa’s Makeup Witch Lash: This is great stuff. Not for volume; okay for lengthening. But if you combine it with a mascara that transfers or smudges, the Witch Lash will stop it from doing that. I don’t know how - this is not the waterproof version. It’s MAGIC. (the link goes to the Twilight Blue color because I can’t find the black one - they may not make it anymore. SON OF A BI-)

Tarte Lights Camera Lashes: One of my favorite mascaras of all time. But I only buy it on sale because $23 for a tube of mascara is fucking nuts. But Ulta has it on sale a few times a year; sometimes Tarte will run a promotion.

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMPSHADE

Mario Badescu Rose Facial Spray: Been using this for years. Still love it.

The Ordinary Niacinamide Zinc Serum: Niacinamide is the one ingredient that’s made a visible difference in my skin care routine. It’s supposed to minimize the appearance of pores and gods damn, it really does. I’ve used this one and the Fourth Ray Beauty one (Colourpop’s skin care line). Both are equally effective. I’ve heard some YouTubers say the 10% concentration is too low for more mature skin, but I call bullshit. I only started using this last year, when I was 49 (or maybe even after I turned 50) and it worked great for me. I switch between brands because my skin does acclimate after a while, but I’ve had no issues with either CP or The Ordinary.

The Ordinary HA Moisturizer: This was just an ordinary (no pun intended) moisturizer. Didn’t do anything special. Since there’s no SPF in, I used it at night. But either way, it wasn’t all that. I’ve learned that hyaluronic acid doesn’t really do anything for my skin.

Context Vitamin C Eye Cream: I think I got this in an Ipsy bag about 100 years ago. It’s a thin, gel-like cream. It’s fine but doesn’t really DO anything. Plus it’s old so it’s gotta go.

Formula 10.0.6 Day Cream: Been using this for years. Still love it.

ELF Gentle Peeling Gel: I technically haven’t used this up but the pump broke, so I just put the product in a squeeze tube. I love peeling gels. I don’t know why, but they are really nice gentle exfoliators. This one is nice.

Pacifica Cherry Lava Purify Mask: This was a decent mask. Smelled like cherries, so it was right up my alley. But it’s gotten old and the last time I used it, it broke me out. Oh well. (Pacifica no longer makes it so I can’t, in good conscience, link you to an Amazon store that sells it for almost $30, when Pacifica sold it for around $12-15).

Formula 10.0.6 Deep Down Detox Mud Mask: I adore this mask. Clay/mud mask products work very well on my skin. If I’ve got some stubborn breakouts, I use this and almost overnight, they’re gone or on their way out. Love the smell (orange), too. But it’s gotten old, just like the Pacifica one, and broke me out last time I used it. For some reason it’s labeled as PREORDER of the Formula 10.0.6 website so…not sure what that’s about.

Look At Me Watermelon Face Mask: It’s been a while since I used this but if I remember correctly, I loved this. It smells fantastic, and my skin felt great the next day. And no breakouts! (I got this and the charcoal one through MyFaceTory subscription and they now have a store front!)

Naisture Charcoal Face Mask: I loved the feel of the cotton mask itself - very soft. I don’t think the smell was anything to write home about but my skin loved it.

SQUEAKY CLEAN

Babyganic Baby Wipes: I used to get these at my grocery store. But they don’t carry them anymore. You can find these at a bunch of other places, though, like CVS, Meijer, Target, Kroger, Walmart. They’re ERRWHERE.

The Potion Cabinet Shower Gel in Flesh Squeezed Virgin Blood (aka Black Cherry): I love the shower gels from this Etsy store. And this smelled like tart cherry candy, actually. But the scent doesn’t linger on the skin to compete with any other scented products you might use. The gel itself is great and makes my skin feel really soft. Highly recommend any scent of theirs (right now looks like this scent is out of stock).

Beauty of Joseon Cleansing Balm: I got this is my Daebak box and though it’s a sample, I got two uses out of it. The first time was great but the second, when I really worked it on my eye makeup, I woke up the next day with crusty itchy eyes. This is the 3rd or 4th balm that’s done that so I’m officially never using cleansing balms again. It does work at taking off makeup, though, so if you enjoy these kinds of products, I would recommend it!

The Body Shop Tea Tree Facial Wash: I love to use this as my cleanser at night. I enjoy the scent of tea tree oil, and it is rather strong in this product, so keep that in mind if you want to try it. It works great with my skin.

The Body Shop Aloe Calming Cream Cleanser: I use this in the morning. It’s a very gentle cream cleanser. It’s nothing too extraordinary but it gets the job done.

GEE, YOUR HAIR SMELLS TERRIFIC

Hask Argan Oil Dry Shampoo: I’ve tried almost all of the Hask dry shampoos and I think this one is my favorite. Smells great, doesn’t create too much white cast in the hair (unless you go balls to the wall spraying it), good job at decreasing the look of oil in your hair. And OF COURSE it’s no longer sold at Hask or other retails. MOTHER FUC-

Raw Sugar Texture Dry Shampoo in Coconut and Maqui Berry scent: I have the Raw Boost cream that works wonders on my hair, keeping it smooth. So I wanted to try something else. This dry shampoo….doesn’t really do anything. Doesn’t really add that much texture, either. But it smells fantastic!

Giovanni 2Chic Blackberry and Coconut Oil Hair Oil Serum: I love this stuff. It’s a little harder to find in stores now, but you can still get it at the Giovanni website. This is like a cross between a gel and an oil, not too thin, not too thick. Great at controlling frizz, and smoothing out waves or curls. Smells amazeballs, too!

EvolvH Smart Volume Leave In Conditioner: I got this YEARS ago, maybe in a Petite Vour bag? Not sure, but I was nervous to use it because this kind of thing usually leaves my hair weighed down and looking greasy. In fact, I said that in the initial unboxing and the company actually replied on my post, guaranteeing the product wouldn’t do that. And I’ll be damned if they weren’t right. This was really nice for my hair. And now that I’ve been bleaching my hair for a while, I might look into purchasing a full bottle.

Raw Sugar Boost (not pictured): I grabbed a bottle of this at Meijer on a whim. This stuff is awesome! It keeps my hair frizz to a minimum; helps the waves/curls keep their shape as my hair dries, too. It’s so nice. Looks like it only comes in the small size, which is fine because mine lasted for months (to be fair - I only wash my hair 1-2x a week and only use this when my hair is still wet).

DEBRIS

Tom’s of Main Rapid Relief Sensitive Toothpaste: My go to for toothpaste. I did actually go a week or two without using it, just to make sure it was actually working. Holy shit, my teeth hurt so much before I went back. GAH. Will continue to purchase and use this product.

Mitchum Women Stick Deoderant: Love this stuff. Works great. Smells great. Is great. This was the gel form, but I prefer the solid stick. Both work well, but the gel takes a while to dry down and it still leaves white marks on your clothes if you’re not careful.

Cake Beauty Ultra-Nourishing Hand Cream: Again, not available from Cake Beauty anymore, so I just linked to their general hand cream page. This stuff was awesome. Absorbed fast, made my skin feel great, and smelled like lemon cake. Aaahhh….But this stuff is really old and started to smell kinda funky.

All righty. We’ve reached the bottom of the bin. Hope some of this was helpful, if you’re looking for recommendations. Until next time!

Morgue Drawer End of 2019

FINALLY, the post you’ve all been waiting for: MY GARBAGE!

BEAT THAT MUG

Babyganics Baby Wipes: I use these to clean off swatches, and any eye shadow fallout when I’m doing my makeup (I always do my eyes first). They sting a little under the eyes but since I don’t use them for my whole face, it’s fine. And you can get a ton of these for very little cost at my grocery store, Value Center. But you can get them in a lot of different places for a great price.

ELF HD Undereye Setting Powder in Sheer: I love using this to set my concealer under my eyes. It’s finely milled, soft, not heavy, and doesn’t add any dryness to my skin (or at least it doesn’t add the appearance of dryness).

BH Cosmetics Lip Gloss: I like their glosses. The texture on this got really gloopy, so I’m tossing it. Seems they don’t have this product on their site anymore, but I love a lot of their makeup.

Catrice Prime and Fine Fixing Sprays (Dewy Glow and Multitalent): I only tried the Dewy one because Taylor Wynn recommended it on YouTube, but I’d been using the multitalent one for a looong time. I love this stuff, much better than the Dewy, which doesn’t give me any more glow than the multitalent spray, but it is more drying - go figure.

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMPSHADE

Physicians Formula Perfect Matcha Cleansing Balm: I really enjoy cleansing balms. They’re great at taking off makeup. But something new has developed in my body, and I don’t mean I’m experiencing a second puberty: after I use this kind of product, the next morning my eyes are red and swollen and crusty. And it wasn’t just from this brand. I used three different ones to test my theory and yep, all of them irritated the shit out of my eyes. Kinda pissed off, but these things happen. I’m trying out some cleansing oil instead to see if that’s any better. Fingers crossed…

Skinfood Pineapple Peeling Gel: I, personally, love a good peeling gel. It feels like a lotion going on dry skin, then soon the enzymes start working and the dead skin just balls right up and off your face. Hmmm, that sounds dirty… It does sound gross, but I actually like the sensation. It feels like I’m really helping my skin by removing the dead cells and afterwards, my face feels so damn soft. I’m not sure of Skinfood’s cruelty free status, so now that this is gone, I’m trying ELF’s version.

The Ordinary Niacinamide 10% + Zinc 1% Serum: I do love the serums from this company and I hadn’t tried this before. It’s fine; the zinc stings a little if you have a scratch or ‘open’ pimple situation. But I find with this brand that if I go through two bottles of the same product, it stops working. I just finished the 2nd bottle so I won’t be repurchasing.

Fourth Ray Beauty Remedy Niacinamide 10% Serum: This is Colourpop’s skin care sister brand and the first niacinamide product I ever tried. From the website: niacinamide is supposed “to enhance skin clarity, perfect pores over time, and boost overall skin health.” And I’ll be a son of a bitch if it didn’t work. I was actually shocked. I’ve since repurchased and hope that it won’t stop working like The Ordinary’s stuff usually does for me.

Mario Badescu Rose Facial Spray: Unless you’re new, you should already know how much I love this face spray. And will continue to repurchase when needed.

Burt’s Bees Micellar Water: Not great. It removed all the face makeup, but struggled a bit with eye makeup. It only stung my eyes a titch, unlike most micellar waters do, which is why I didn’t set it on fire before using it as a Molotov Cocktail at my Lord of the Flies neighbors. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find a cruelty free option that works, and doesn’t hurt.

ELF Nourishing Night Cream: This was okay. I wanted to switch up from the Formula 10.0.6 because my skin has been feeling more dry when I wake up (and long before the cold air started rolling in). This ended up feeling the same. And it’s a little pricey for ELF, if you ask me. Which you didn’t, but then why are you here reading all my opinions if you don’t care??

Formula 10.0.6 PM Perfector Night Cream: I’d been using this for a long time, but recently my skin has been feeling dryer in the morning so I don’t think it’s working well for me anymore. On the hunt for new stuff.

Formula 10.0.6 Day Cream: I still enjoy this a lot and will continue to use!

Notoriously Morbid’s Slumber Salve in Hesperides: This scent in no longer on the website but this product in general has to be some of THE best lip balm/salve I’ve ever tried. I put it on at night and, about 97% of the time, I wake up and some is still on. My lips feel so soft and protected. If you get the chance, check this stuff out for yourself.

GEE YOUR HAIR SMELLS TERRIFIC

RenPure Coconut Cream Nourishing Shampoo: I got this at Target, but this particular coconut line has to be bought on-line, apparently. It was a really nice moisturizing shampoo. With my hair being bleached now, I need extra moisture. Smelled nice, not too much coconut, hint of floral, and made my hair feel soft. But I get bored easily, as does my hair, so we’ve swiched it up. I still recommend this, though.

Paul Mitchell Lavender Mint Moisturizing Shampoo and Conditioner: And this is what I’ve switched to. It is phenomenal! I usually go three days (sometimes four) between hair washing, so dry shampoo is my friend. But even with that, my hair still feels so damn soft. Sometimes I just put dry shampoo or some kind of texture spray on so I can keep a ponytail or braid in. It’s magic! And it smells fantastic.

Marc Anthony Deep Repair Aloe Vera Jasmine Conditioning Treatment: Sweet baby jeebus I love this stuff. I only use it 2-3 times a month and I can get three uses from one packet. It really helps moisturize my hair, make it feel super soft, and the smell is out of this world. But then again, I love the smell of Jasmine. And it’s only $3 a packet. Yaaaasss.

L’Occitane Lemon Verbena Shampoo and Conditioner: Got this in a hotel room out in Jackson Hole, WY, while on vacation. And while it smells really nice, you have to use SO MUCH product to get it to work, and even then it’s not great stuff. Do not recommend. Doesn’t look like it’s available on their site anyway.

Hask Unwined Dry Shampoo in Rose Wine: This worked all right, but the smell was pretty heavy. Looks like just the White Wine option is available anyway.

Hask Argan from Morocco Dry Shampoo: This one worked better than the wine version, and it smells so much nicer.

Marc Anthony Argan Oil Hairspray: I still love this stuff. Not a heavy duty holding spray, but it can be piled on to work like one. The smell used to be softer, more like straight argan oil, but now it smells more like hairspray, does that make sense? I still like it, though!

DEBRIS

MBA Cosmetics Body Wash in Seaside Escape: This was a decent body wash. The smell was really nice, very unisex leaning on floral. It didn’t foam up that much, which is sometimes good (the stuff that makes soaps foam is drying to the skin) but that means I used a lot more of it than other washes. This is from an Etsy store and the owner doesn’t make body wash anymore.

Tom’s of Main Rapid Relief Sensitive Toothpaste: Been buying this for years. It’s the only sensitive toothpaste that doesn’t make my mouth peel. Yes, that’s weird, but a small percentage of us deal with that side effect with other sensitivity toothpastes. This stuff works just as well as any other brand. Most of the time I can find this WITH fluoride, which I prefer, but I’ll take what I can get.

Whew! All righty, that’s it for 2019. See you all next year with more trash talk. Hardee har har.

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs June 2019

Surprisingly this month, I have fewer duds than goodies. Huh. Not sure I like this turn of events…Anyway, here are some products I’ve really enjoyed, felt indifferent toward, or just plain hated. Hope you like it!

(For those of you who are new here, PD - Panty Droppers; MEH - meh; GFY - Go Fuck Yourself)

PDs

Makeup Geek Gel Liner in Poison: This was the first red gel eyeliner I ever used. I had this thing for YEARS and it wouldn’t dry out! Great color, did not budge, didn’t make my eyes look like I was sick, either. Red and pinks can do that… It did finally dry up, though, so it was too difficult to use. Highly recommend this product! But…it looks like MG doesn’t make gel liners anymore. GAH!

Catrice Prime and Fine Smoothing Primer: I loved this primer. It really smooths out the appearance of my Nebraska-sized pores, and the texture is almost like a mousse. Feels great on the skin, more like a moisturizer.

Colourpop Lip Gloss in Fairy Floss: My absolute favorite nude gloss ever. Unfortunately, after years of faithful service, it now tingles when I put it on. That’s less than optimal, so I gotta toss it. I’ve already ordered a replacement.

MEH

NYX Worth the Hype Mascara: It’s not. It does make the lashes look darker, but more natural and not a lot of volume. I don’t mind that, but this doesn’t do what it says.

Colourpop Brow Boss Gel: I don’t really get this product. It’s white and feels like lotion, which doesn’t really do much for keeping rogue brow hairs in place. But because it’s not tinted, it’s less messy to work with, which is nice.

Bobbi Brown Illuminating Moisture Balm: I love the glow this stuff gives - so pretty. But the smell is horrendous! Very much like chemicals and plastic. UGH.

Katy Perry x Covergirl Katy Kat Lip Gloss in Cobalt Kitty: I originally posted about this a while ago because I thought it was such a fun color. And it is! But it’s streaky and difficult to work with. Very patchy, low pigment, and wearing it over a lip liner or another lip product doesn’t help.

GFY

ELF Velvet Touch Eye Shadow in Island Breeze: I got this little palette free with an order from ELF. And now I know why. They probably can’t get rid of these fast enough. The colors look pretty but they pigment is just not there. You can’t build them up and what goes on the lids does NOT last. The high moisture content is disgusting. The plastic package had smears of something wet on it - I’m hoping just the water or oils from the shadows themselves. They feel mushy and the peach shade was very wet. Blech.

Colourpop Jelly Much Shadow in Hallucinogenius: I really liked this stuff at first. It was squishy, like a jelly, but the color and sparkle were so pretty. But I only used this stuff two or three times, and I made sure the little pot was closed tightly after every use. But this stuff is dry and hard now, and all I get is a little sparkle on my finger. WHAT THE FUCK?

That’s it for this month. See you guys down the road!

Morgue Drawer End of 2018

Finally getting around to writing up this post so I can throw all my garbage away! For those who don’t know, I write up a quick little review of products I’ve used up over the past months to give you a better idea how things worked, or didn’t, for me. Hopefully a little more in-depth than the PDs, MEHs, and GFYs, because some of that shit made me so angry that I tried to burn it all after the first use.

So here we go, wrapping up 2018, by taking a stroll through my trash. Enjoy!

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMP SHADE

H20+ Oasis Hydrating Treatment: Really nice moisturizer. I love a good gel formula, and it worked well for my skin. But this brand is way too pricey for me!

Pacifica Cactus Revive Face Wash: Meh. The smell was nice but the texture was so runny, it made a mess all over the cap and tube. As I got closer to the end of the tube, the product got grittier, which is bizarre. I didn’t finish it off before throwing it away. (And they don’t sell this one anymore….of course, they don’t.)

Elisha Coy Moist Up Super Hyalurone Ampoule Serum: I really like this serum. Smells good, absorbs well, and it might be a little better than The Ordinary Buffet serum (which stays tacky on the skin and recently started breaking me out.) I got mine at CVS, but it’s not always in stock.

Formula 10.0.6 So Totally Clean Micellar Water: Not a good product. Burns the eyes like hell, and it doesn’t remove all makeup. Skin didn’t really feel clean after using it.

Soap & Glory Fab Pore Purifying Foam Cleanser: I really liked this. Smelled nice and clean, if that makes sense. Worked great until I got to the last inch or so in the bottle. Then it didn’t seem to work as well, plus the pump on the bottle broke.

The Body Shop Aloe Cream Cleanser: Loved this. Gentle cream cleanser and no heavy smell.

Mario Badescu Rose Facial Spray: I still enjoy this, though just recently I watched a review about how this isn’t as great for the skin as other sprays because of the dyes and filler ingredients. Dammit.

The Ordinary Squalene Face Oil: My skin loves this stuff so much better than rose hip oil, which spoils much quicker and remains heavy on the skin. Squalene absorbs fast, and has no smell!

Nip & Fab Moisturizer: This was decent but smelled a little too heavy of sunscreen. (this is no longer available.)

Derma E Rose Cleansing Oil: Smells nice but didn’t do a good job of cleaning off anything.

Ariul Bamboo Water Mask: LOVED this. Super soft mask and my skin felt great, even the next day. I want to get all 7 days worth of them.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Cream: Still my go-to moisturizers.

DEBRIS

Mitchum Gel Deoderant: Pretty good, but the gel took FOREVER to dry, and still left white marks. Trying the solid sticks now, and I like those so much better.

Giovanni 2Chic Intensive Hair Mask: Loved this mask/heavy conditioner. Super thick and really helped my bleached hair look smooth, and feel soft. I can’t find the Ultra-Repair one anymore, just the regular Repair. Still works well, just not as thick.

Marc Anthony Argan Oil Hair Spray: Still love this stuff. Smell is really nice, and it’s just a soft hold hairspray, which I enjoy.

Maui Moisture Heal and Hydrate Hair Mask: This was almost as good as the Giovanni stuff. Smelled fantastic! The tub is a bit messy, though.

Tom’s of Main Maximum Sensitivity Toothpaste: Still love this stuff; only sensitive toothpaste that works for me. I usually get mine at Meijers or Vitamin Shoppe.

Purple Cat Apothecary Body Butter (Winter Rose): I like the texture of the body butter, but the scent on this was too heavy with honey and very little rose. (Store no longer exists.)

ZOMG Smells Perfumes (Lola’s New Dress and Hyang-Su): I love so many of the scents I’ve purchased from this store. These got too old and started to smell more like alcohol, so I had to get rid of them. Sugar Dragon is one of my favorite scents!

Lavanila Pure Vanilla Perfume: THE BEST VANILLA PERFUME EVAR!!!

BEAT THAT MUG

NYX Vivid Liner (Silver): So much fun! But like their Vinyls liners, this dried out so fast. I’d be willing to get it again, but they no longer sell this shade. Fuck me.

Babyganics Face/Hand/Baby Wipes: I get these at my local Value Center super market, but looks like you can get them at Target, too. They are great for wiping off swatches, clearing eye shadow fall out on my cheeks, or a quick clean of my hands before starting makeup application. No scent, which is really nice.

Catrice Prime & Fine Multitalent Fixing Spray: I LOVE THIS SETTING SPRAY. Gives my face a nice glow and melds with my highlighter beautifully, which I love. Been wanting to try their glowy version (how much more shiny can I get??) but it’s always sold out!

ELF Lip Exfoliator (pink grapefruit): This is a great exfoliator in a non-messy package/delivery system. This one just got too old before I could use it up.

Milani Lip Gloss: This was one of my favorite lip glosses. It’s so old, though, that the name is worn off, and Milani doesn’t make it anymore. Sheer pink with gold shimmer. Absolutely gorgeous. Smelled like candy, too! But it finally went “off” so I had to toss it.

Tarte Smooth Operator Finishing Powder: This was perfect for setting my under eye concealer. Finely milled, it never looked heavy or cakey. Took me forever to get through this little sample!

Urban Decay Primer Potion: Meh. Not sure why everyone loves this eye primer so much. It’s kinda dry, and doesn’t work any better than any drug store, lower cost one (like Milani.)

Ulta Brow Tint: Love this product, but this shade was a bit light for me. Will get the dark brown when I use up another one I’ve got open now.

Tarte Lights Camera Lashes Mascara: Still one of my favorite mascara formulas of all time. But it will either come in a mini like this, or will go on sale. Never buy this at full price!

Catrice Pret-a-Volume Mascara: It was…okay. More natural looking than volume boosting. Which is fine but not what it advertises. Not sure if the link I put is to the exact same mascara, but looks close enough.

Essence Precise Eyeliner Brush: I love these. Super thin so you can get a precise line with any kind of medium (gel, powder, etc.) They’re $2. I have three back ups right now.

All righty. That’s it for 2018. Hope to see you all next year!

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs 2018 Year End

Again…gah. I haven’t done one of these for MONTHS, but I hope to get back into a regular schedule for 2019. For those who are new, instead of doing the generic “Likes and Dislikes” or “Fails and Favorites,” I call my list of crap I liked and hated as “Panty Droppers, Mehs, and Go Fuck Yourselves.”

Enjoy.

PDs

Tarte Rainforest of the Sea Foundation: I don’t usually spend my money on high-end makeup. Tarte is the exception. I prefer light coverage foundations, if I wear them at all, and this is perfection. It lasts all day on me and looks as good at the end of the day, as it did after first application. I had to get a new bottle, though, because my previous one expired before I could use it up. Right now I have Fair-Light Neutral, but I probably could switch to Fair Beige (they came out with a few new shades since I first bought it.)

Stila Huge Extreme Lash Mascara: I got this as a sample in one of my Ulta orders this year. And I didn’t want to like it because Stila is one of those high-end brands. But DAMMIT! This stuff makes my lashes look long, thick (rowr) and gorgeous.

A’Pieu Finger Blusher: This came in a 3B subscription bag (aaaaaages ago.) I can’t believe how long it lasted. The smell just started to go off, so I had to toss it. But if I can find this again, I would repurchase. Perfect cream blush - blends out beautifully, and the peach shade I had was very natural. One of the best blushers I’ve ever used. I don’t think they make it anymore, but YesStyle has a ton of A’Pieu products, so maybe one of the blushes in there will work as well…?

Lunatik Cosmetic Labs Lipstick in Lacrimosa: This has been one of my favorite shades of lipstick in a long time. The description from their website: Lacrimosa is a translucent shade with a pink hue packed with a kaleidoscope of color shifting sparkles. I got it back in 2014, I think, at a convention. Unfortunately, the bullet completely dried up and it’s now impossible to get any pigment out of it. Which makes me incredibly sad. So I guess I’ll have to go get another one!

I forgot to include these babies in the PDs pic above, so they’ll get special treatment. I know a lot of people don’t like the metallic lip look, because it makes the lips appear older/aged. Personally, I don’t care. I love how shiny the Metal Shock is (shade: Mercury,) and the Vibrant Shock (shade: Nightstalker) is just a gorgeous shock of color. Obvi.

The Vibrant Shock seems a teeny streaky at first, but you can definitely work with it to look just fine on the lips. These do dry down, but don’t become transfer proof. They’re just a titch sticky, but not the “sweet baby Jesus it’s gonna be 10 minutes before my lips separate!” kind of sticky.

MEHs

Wet n Wild Tour & Tease Lip Balm: It’s a nice soft wash of color, but sooooo drying. This might be one of those multi-use products (lips and cheeks) and, if so, that explains the dryness. Never has any dual product felt nice on either part of the face. Blech.

The Ordinary Serum Foundation: I love the thin consistency and light coverage; the shade is pretty good, too. But it makes my skin look like a 4000-year old papyrus notebook found in some Egyptian angsty teenager’s sarcophagus. Ugh.

BH Cosmetics Naturally Flawless Foundation: Really good coverage and a nice shade. But, again, makes my skin look super dry, and my pores appear the size of Iowa. Ah….no thanks.

Catrice Glam and Doll False Lashes Waterproof Mascara: I wanted to try the waterproof version of this because the regular version makes my lashes so long, the product transfers all over the damn place. This isn’t quite that good, PLUS it’s nearly impossible to remove. Hence, the reason I rarely wear waterproof makeup.

Essence Lash Princess Sculpted Volume Mascara: I love the original one (pink details) but this was just okay. The real problem is that it’s thick and gloopy, and never really dries out enough to be more controllable. Too bad.

GFYs

Notoriously Morbid Jinxed Jewels Liquid Eyeshadow in Tempting Devils: I got this little guy in the NM Halloween Advent Calendar. This shit is terrible. They say it can be worn on its own, layered, or over an eye shadow. I tried both, and it looked like hammered shit both times. Completely creased and crumbled off my eye after a few hours. I tried it more than once, just in case I layered it too heavily or not enough. Nope. Fucking awful product. (This is not for individual sale on the site.)

Notoriously Morbid Cosmic Gloss in Brooding Vampires: I’m specifically talking about the Brooding Vampires shade, which I also got in the Advent Calendar (I only took the pic of it with the Smoke & Fire shade to compare they came in the same full size container, but sure as FUCK don’t contain the same amount of product. The sticker may say 2 mls, but you can clearly see the base of the twist up tube is much higher on BV than on S&F. I only twisted the BV tube enough to get the product out - I haven’t worn this shade at all.) Brooding Vampires just came out of the tube as slightly tinted gloop. It never mixed with the base oils so I really don’t know what color this is supposed to be. Weak, and a little shifty on the packaging, NM. (For some reason, there are no links to get their Cosmic Gloss on the site - not sure what’s up with that because the Smoke & Fire shade is phenomenal.)

Tarte Aqua Concealer: Imagine my surprise when the concealer, in the same line as the foundation I love, makes my under eyes look dryer than a dust covered shelf in a long abandoned castle from the 18th century. Fuck you, Aqua concealer, you lying bitch.

Colourpop No Filter Concealer: See above, sans the corresponding foundation comment. (Full disclosure: I could have sworn they had regular and matte concealer, but all that’s listed on the site is matte - so that would explain the dryness.)

RK Extend Illusion Mascara: At first, I kind of liked this. But the more I wore it, the more I realized it was a tubing mascara, and those little fuckers shed INTO MY EYE BALLS. Fuck that noise. (I can’t find any place that sells this now so…there you go.)

NYX Matte Lip Cream (Moscow): I normally love these, but this particular color is patchy, hard to work with, and gets crumbly as it dries. Which explains why it’s not even for sale on the NYX website. At least they recognize when something sucks.

NYX Strictly Vinyl Liquid Eye Liners: So disappointed in this. I used the red shade once, and it was pretty cool. A few months later, went to use it again, and it was completely dried out. I bought a new bottle, the brown shade this time, and it was almost all dried up when I used it for the first time. Da fuck, NYX?

Catrice HD Liquid Coverage Precision Concealer: You know what this shit covers? Abso-fucking-lutely NADA. I appreciate the applicator design. I need to put concealer in a small, specific spot under my eyes or it becomes a shit show real fast. However, this all just blended away, but it left enough product behind to make my under eyes look like the Sahara. Fuck off, Catrice, you hit-but-mostly-miss beeyotch.

That’s it for 2018! See you on the other side, Ray.

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs March 2018

Here's my list of products that have been great for me, so-so, and making me cast them into the fiery pits of HELL! That's right. It's the Panty Droppers, MEHs, and Go Fuck Yourselves. Let's get to it!

PDs

Sad to say I've only got 1 panty dropper this time around. But it's pretty fucking good and deserves the spotlight.

BH Cosmetics Zodiac Palette: I've got a few BH products in my stash, some I've decluttered and some I've continued to treasure. This will be staying with me for a long time. The metallic shades are phenomenal. Many times I find other brand's baked shadows like this VERY dry and chalky, hardly pigmented. These are so damn soft and easy to work with. The mattes are the same. Very soft and great color payoff. I'd have to say the only downside is if you're one of those people who NEEDS a transition shade in the crease of your eye, there are VERY limited options here (the light brown of Aquarius and the light pink of Virgo are really your only options) and you'll have to grab another palette or shadow to use. I personally don't care that much so it's not a deal breaker for me. The highlighter in the middle is not the best I've ever used but again, not a big issue. This goes on the website for around $21 but I've seen it as low as $18 (cheaper elsewhere sometimes).

MEHs

LA Girl Pro Conceal (peach): This had meh coverage. It was nice and creamy but it didn't really color correct the purple under my eyes so...what's the point?

Smashbox Photo Finish Lid Primer: Not sure why everyone goes gaga over this. It's pretty sticky but it doesn't do a great job of making my eye shadow last any longer. Milani makes a much better one.

GFYs

Lots of stuff pissed me off this time around...

Ulta Beauty Color Correcting Concealer: This stuff dries down so much darker than it is in the tube, just like paint does, and it doesn't do a thing to color correct (which I'm beginning to think is a sham).

Make Moonlight Primer: This is one of those cool ideas - black in color but a gel texture so it blends out clear - but is terrible in the execution. It balls up under any foundation. And I mean ANY. It's disgusting and useless.

Blaq Mask: It's fun to put on a peeling mask that solid black (I like the Montagne Jeunesse one) but this shit ruined my skin. It was red and irritated as fuck and it broke me out.

Catrice Glam & Doll False Lashes Mascara: I do love the length this mascara gives but because of that, it transfers all over my brow bone. I end up looking like I slept in my makeup. (tip: if you put a coat of mascara over this stuff that DOESN'T tranfer, that helps - but that's too much work).

Spa Life Grapefruit mask: Absolutely USELESS. The mask material is way to thick and stiff (Imma leave that one alone...) so it wouldn't stay on my face. Literally, it kept falling off. The holes for the eyes and mouth were way too small. It smelled like artificial fruit. Just all around bad!

Sand & Skye Purifying Pink Clay mask: I had to wash this shit off about 30 seconds after putting it on. It burned so much and my skin was bright pink/red for a while before it calmed down.

Labotica Liquid Foil mask: Cool color but this shit really bonded to my skin making it extremely difficult to remove. It also irritated my skin AND broke it out. Ugh.

That's it for now. I didn't wait until I collected an entire box of stuff so I think that might actually make it a better read. Until next time, folks!

PD, MEHs, and GFYs November 2017

Oh MAN it's been too long since I've bitched about shit. I'm about to lose my Old Lady card and get kicked out of the Wool Shawl in Summer club. This post, though, should help get my tennis ball footed walker cred back.

For those of you who are new, welcome. This is my version of Favorites and Fails, Winners and Losers, or whatever the crazy kids are calling it on YouTube these days. Enjoy.

PDs (Panty Droppers)

Secret Key Lemon D-Toc Peeling Gel: This was my first exposure to a peeling gel. It's the consistency of aloe gel but smells like lemons. Actually kind of like artificial science lab kind of lemons but I could deal with that. You rub this on cleansed skin and those little balls that end up rolling around? That's all your dead skin clumping together so it can be rinsed away. I know it sounds gross but once you try it, and feel how AMAZINGLY soft your skin is after, you'll never doubt again. This is the old packaging so when shopping, look for the new bottle (in the link). I'm using the brand Skinfood's version now (pineapple, smells much better).

Formula 10.0.6 Picture Perfect Day: My new favorite day cream. Absorbs pretty well (does linger a bit on the skin's surface), no pungent smell, and has SPF 15. I'm almost ready for my 3rd bottle.

Formula 10.0.6 PM Perfector: My new favorite night cream. It's thick but light at the same time. I'm not sure how to describe it. It absorbs faster than the day cream, I think. And my skin feels nice in the morning.

Colourpop Brow Boss Pencil (in Soft Black): As most of you know, I don't have much in the way of eyebrows. But at the same time, when I want to fill them in, I don't like a heavy drawn on look. Powders usually work well for me or colored brow gels. Most pencils are so soft they come off very heavy and greasy looking. This is perfection. It's very thin, waxy (so it's not creamy/greasy), and allows me to draw in more realistic looking brow hair. And it's $5! Come on!

Essence Plump no Clump Mascara: I think this is the dupe of the Cover Girl Clump Crusher mascara, which I've tried and I loved. But once I started going cruelty free, I needed an alternative. This is it. It separates my lashes well, doesn't clump (duh), and doesn't transfer all over the place. UNFORTUNATELY, it's no longer sold at Ulta, the Essence US site doesn't have it, and Amazon is all out. It might be discontinued. FUCK ME.

MEHs (Meh, obviously)

Precious Skin Elixirs Exfoliating Clay: It's one of those dry powders that you mix with just a little water right in your hand and smear all over your face. It was a nice exfoliator but I woke up the next morning the greasiest grease monkey that every greased. UGH.

Soap & Glory Sugar Crush Body Wash: While I love the scent of Sugar Crush, the wash is way too thin so you have to use a lot to get it to cover your entire body (bow chicka BOW WOW). By the time I got to the bottom of the bottle, it was mostly like mixing water with water to wash myself. LAME.

Doucce Maxlash Volumizer Mascara: The mascara did a nice job of thickening my lashes and they looked great. But the next morning, even after taking off my makeup the night before, my eyes were all red and irritated and goopy. Ew.

Tarte Amazonian Clay Gifted Mascara: This stuff was great at first. I even posted on IG about it. But the longer I used it, the gloppier the mascara got and it made my lashes look like a 60s spidery mess. And that sucks.

Tony Moly Cooling Eye Stick: This was very cooling on the skin. It felt great! But it totally broke me out. I don't usually get pimples in my under eye area but I did after using this. Boooo.

GFYs (Go Fuck Yourselves)

Catrice Prime & Fine Brightening Eye Shadow Base: This doesn't do shit for helping eye shadow last or look more intense. It's actually kind of shimmery which is fine if that's what you want. Otherwise I'd stick to NYX's jumbo eye pencil in Milk. ALSO, this changed color after only a couple of months. Gross.

Essence Forbidden Volume Mascara: If they mean it was forbidden to make a mascara that does what it says on the bottle then they hit the mark. No volume whatsoever. It was gloppy and smudged EVERYWHERE. Fucking weak.

Air Repair Super-Hydrating Eye Cream: Holy hell this stung like a mother fucker. I had to wipe it off immediately which kind of defeats the purpose, right? Totally useless.

Colourpop Brow Boss Gel: This stuff is more like a thick lotion so it never really dries down. It also doesn't last for more than a few hours which is fine because IT DOES NOTHING. I don't have a lot of brow hairs but I have one or two with attitudes. This stuff didn't do a damn fucking thing.

Saem Iceland Hydrating Eye Stick: Though this had a nice cooling effect, that's not its purpose. It's supposed to hydrate. Does it do that? Nooooooope. Actually very drying for under the eyes AND it broke me out. So I guess these kinds of stick balm things are just not for me. Which is sad because look how cute the packaging is!

That'll do it for this round. I'll try to get these up once every quarter so they're not as long!

PDs, GFYs, and MEHs - September 2015 Edition

Well, August kind of got away from me so I'll be combining it with September for this list of Panty Droppers, Go Fuck Yourselves, and Mehs. 

First, let's get to the good stuff. (I didn't take pics of everything in each category - just the stuff that was close at hand!)

For my beauty PD products, I've got these three pictured above. Almay Smart Shade CC cream, the Rimmel Fix & Perfect face primer, and the Neutrogena Hydro gel. I love the CC cream because it's a nice shade match for me and it's not heavy or full coverage (which I prefer). I do feel like my natural oiliness comes through but I don't look greasy, does that make sense? The Rimmel primer is awesome. It looks and feels like a light lotion but it really sinks into the skin and it doesn't feel like I'm wearing anything (on my face, pervs). The Hydro gel was a sample and it smelled awesome! It worked really well, too, so I'm hoping when I get the full size, it won't disappoint me like the Hada Labo gel did.

For food, I've got two things for you:

Annie's Cheddar Bunnies and Animal Crackers. I've only tried the snack products from this company. The extra cheesy cheddar bunnies are better than the regular and the animal crackers are wonderful. They kind of taste like the original animal crackers we all grew up on (us old people, anyway) but they are much more dense. I believe all of their products are natural, possibly organic (don't quote me) and their business practices aim for social responsibility. I've found these at Target, Meijers, and Value Center. You've got to try some! www.annies.com

Oreo Pumpkin Spice: I know, I know. Everything is turning up pumpkin spice right now because Fall. I, personally, am not a freak about it. I don't run out and get anything and everything in this scent or flavor (most pumpkin candles make me barf and I don't need my coffee to taste like a gourd). HOWEVER, Oreos are some of my favorite cookies and when I saw these, I had to try them. I believe they came out last year but the are limited edition each fall. AND THEY ARE AMAZEBALLS! If you like pumpkin pie, you'll like these.

The last thing is not a product but a technique. I'm probably the last one to jump on this bandwagon but from watching Emily Noel on YouTube (emilynoel83), I discovered how awesome it is to apply cream blush with a stippling brush. It makes it so much easier to blend out the product that you just can't get with your fingers. Who knew? (everyone besides me, I'm sure)

Now for the Go Fuck Yourselves:

Beauty and Hair was all about the uselessness these past months. For hair: the Not Your Mother's Dry Shampoo (good thing because I hate to think your mom sucks ass) and the Ulta brand Smooth and Protect shampoo/conditioner. I've tried multiple brands of dry shampoo. I love Batiste but the smell can be cloying so I wanted to see if I could find something just as good. Nooooope. NYM's dry shampoo was completely useless, unless I sprayed on half a can which mostly went straight to my lungs. The Ulta shampoo and conditioner did nothing to smooth or protect my hair. It dried it out even more and if I were transformed into a muppet, I'd be the frizz monster who lives with the dust bunnies and spare change under your couch.

The makeup that seriously disappointed me was the Catrice liquid eyeliner and Colour Pop's ultra matte liquid lipstick. I wanted to try the Catrice brand because Keerstin on YouTube (ItsKeerstin) talked about it a lot. Before Ulta brought it into their stores/on-line, you could only get in Europe. So I was excited to try a few things once they got stateside. This eyeliner was terrible. It took forever to dry and even if I DIDN'T open my eyes, or move or breathe in any way, it still smudged. Which is interesting because when I tried to take it off, it was near impossible! What the fuck, Catrice?

The ColourPop matte liquid lipsticks make me mad. I love the brand (I have several lippie stix, blushes, and highlighters that I love) so when these mattes came out, I was super excited. Now I just want to punch someone. The colors are nice but the formula is so drying as to be painful. They set within seconds so don't fuck up. And if it looks patchy, too fucking bad because if you put on a second layer, it clumps together or just wipes off the original application. Then when you WANT to take them off, you basically need a jackhammer and some napalm. They. Are. Awful. I want to apologize to my friend, MontiLee, for giving her the pink color I ordered (it didn't look right on me but I thought she might enjoy it). I'm so so so sorry.

And finally, the MEHs.

I think most of my Meh's work well for other people but just not for me. Which is why they are just okay.

Three primers I tried: Benefit's Porefessional; Smashbox Photo Finish; and Catrice Prime & Fine. I'm pretty sure the Porefessional and Prime & Fine broke me out (gods dammit, Catrice!). The Smashbox is a silicone primer and with my oily skin, it doesn't work. It also balls up when I put the Almay CC over it so...no.

The Maybelline Lash sensational mascara (in the pink tube) was just so wet and gloppy. Most people say to just give it time to dry out a bit, but mine never got there. I'll work with shadows and maybe blushes but not mascara. That's one thing that needs to work as is straight out of the tube.

I also got a body wash from Bath & Body Works in a Honey Lavender scent. It's a good shower gel but the scent leaves a lot to be desired. I don't get much lavender from it and the honey smells weird. I've only got a little bit left so once that's done I'm getting back to my Jasmine Vanilla!!

That's it for this edition. Hopefully I'll get back to monthly reviews on this stuff! But let's not count on that just yet. Busy season at the hubby's store is in full swing and I help out when he needs me. I may not be back until November...