The Monkey Is In.

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I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Filtering by Tag: cleansing balm

Morgue Drawer April 2020

Who wants to trash talk? And by that I mean talk about my garbage, not bad mouth and gossip about bullshit and politics.

For the newbs, this is the post where I talk about all the products I’ve used up over the past few months. AKA empties. Let’s take a look!

BEAT THAT MUG

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Colourpop Super Shock Shadow in Puppy Love: This was a limited edition shade for a fundraiser CP had. It supported dog rescue efforts so OF COURSE I had to buy it. It was a lovely, soft peach shade. Great for a simple, one-color-all-over look. I had it for years but it’s finally dried out. *WAAAAAH*

NYX Pore Filler Face Primer: This is one of those cream colored primers that blur the appearance of pores. This does work pretty well, but it can look a little dry. I probably won’t get it again.

Catrice Multi-Talent Fixing Spray: I love this stuff. It works great at sealing in my makeup, and it gives my skin a gorgeous glow (think shiny but not greasy or metallic). They have a Dewy and Glow version but I don’t think that one gives any better effect than this one. Personal choice, I guess!

So many mascaras…

Covergirl Clump Crusher: I used to love this before I went cruelty free a few years ago. But now that CG is cruelty free (HOORAY!), I bought this again. Unfortunately, it’s not as good as I remember. Doesn’t give much length or volume. It does separate the lashes nicely, but it works better if you layer it with something else.

The Balm Mad Lash: Love love love this mascara! Great at lengthening and adding volume. I usually don’t buy it because it’s $18. But as of my typing this, there’s a flash sale of 50% at the site. WHOOP! I hope that doesn’t mean they’re discontinuing it and are getting rid of stock…

Buxom Volumizing Mascara: I think this is the volumizing one. There’s no indication on the sample tube but it looks like the one on the Buxom website. It was…okay. Better as a layering mascara.

Medusa’s Makeup Witch Lash: This is great stuff. Not for volume; okay for lengthening. But if you combine it with a mascara that transfers or smudges, the Witch Lash will stop it from doing that. I don’t know how - this is not the waterproof version. It’s MAGIC. (the link goes to the Twilight Blue color because I can’t find the black one - they may not make it anymore. SON OF A BI-)

Tarte Lights Camera Lashes: One of my favorite mascaras of all time. But I only buy it on sale because $23 for a tube of mascara is fucking nuts. But Ulta has it on sale a few times a year; sometimes Tarte will run a promotion.

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMPSHADE

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Mario Badescu Rose Facial Spray: Been using this for years. Still love it.

The Ordinary Niacinamide Zinc Serum: Niacinamide is the one ingredient that’s made a visible difference in my skin care routine. It’s supposed to minimize the appearance of pores and gods damn, it really does. I’ve used this one and the Fourth Ray Beauty one (Colourpop’s skin care line). Both are equally effective. I’ve heard some YouTubers say the 10% concentration is too low for more mature skin, but I call bullshit. I only started using this last year, when I was 49 (or maybe even after I turned 50) and it worked great for me. I switch between brands because my skin does acclimate after a while, but I’ve had no issues with either CP or The Ordinary.

The Ordinary HA Moisturizer: This was just an ordinary (no pun intended) moisturizer. Didn’t do anything special. Since there’s no SPF in, I used it at night. But either way, it wasn’t all that. I’ve learned that hyaluronic acid doesn’t really do anything for my skin.

Context Vitamin C Eye Cream: I think I got this in an Ipsy bag about 100 years ago. It’s a thin, gel-like cream. It’s fine but doesn’t really DO anything. Plus it’s old so it’s gotta go.

Formula 10.0.6 Day Cream: Been using this for years. Still love it.

ELF Gentle Peeling Gel: I technically haven’t used this up but the pump broke, so I just put the product in a squeeze tube. I love peeling gels. I don’t know why, but they are really nice gentle exfoliators. This one is nice.

Pacifica Cherry Lava Purify Mask: This was a decent mask. Smelled like cherries, so it was right up my alley. But it’s gotten old and the last time I used it, it broke me out. Oh well. (Pacifica no longer makes it so I can’t, in good conscience, link you to an Amazon store that sells it for almost $30, when Pacifica sold it for around $12-15).

Formula 10.0.6 Deep Down Detox Mud Mask: I adore this mask. Clay/mud mask products work very well on my skin. If I’ve got some stubborn breakouts, I use this and almost overnight, they’re gone or on their way out. Love the smell (orange), too. But it’s gotten old, just like the Pacifica one, and broke me out last time I used it. For some reason it’s labeled as PREORDER of the Formula 10.0.6 website so…not sure what that’s about.

Look At Me Watermelon Face Mask: It’s been a while since I used this but if I remember correctly, I loved this. It smells fantastic, and my skin felt great the next day. And no breakouts! (I got this and the charcoal one through MyFaceTory subscription and they now have a store front!)

Naisture Charcoal Face Mask: I loved the feel of the cotton mask itself - very soft. I don’t think the smell was anything to write home about but my skin loved it.

SQUEAKY CLEAN

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Babyganic Baby Wipes: I used to get these at my grocery store. But they don’t carry them anymore. You can find these at a bunch of other places, though, like CVS, Meijer, Target, Kroger, Walmart. They’re ERRWHERE.

The Potion Cabinet Shower Gel in Flesh Squeezed Virgin Blood (aka Black Cherry): I love the shower gels from this Etsy store. And this smelled like tart cherry candy, actually. But the scent doesn’t linger on the skin to compete with any other scented products you might use. The gel itself is great and makes my skin feel really soft. Highly recommend any scent of theirs (right now looks like this scent is out of stock).

Beauty of Joseon Cleansing Balm: I got this is my Daebak box and though it’s a sample, I got two uses out of it. The first time was great but the second, when I really worked it on my eye makeup, I woke up the next day with crusty itchy eyes. This is the 3rd or 4th balm that’s done that so I’m officially never using cleansing balms again. It does work at taking off makeup, though, so if you enjoy these kinds of products, I would recommend it!

The Body Shop Tea Tree Facial Wash: I love to use this as my cleanser at night. I enjoy the scent of tea tree oil, and it is rather strong in this product, so keep that in mind if you want to try it. It works great with my skin.

The Body Shop Aloe Calming Cream Cleanser: I use this in the morning. It’s a very gentle cream cleanser. It’s nothing too extraordinary but it gets the job done.

GEE, YOUR HAIR SMELLS TERRIFIC

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Hask Argan Oil Dry Shampoo: I’ve tried almost all of the Hask dry shampoos and I think this one is my favorite. Smells great, doesn’t create too much white cast in the hair (unless you go balls to the wall spraying it), good job at decreasing the look of oil in your hair. And OF COURSE it’s no longer sold at Hask or other retails. MOTHER FUC-

Raw Sugar Texture Dry Shampoo in Coconut and Maqui Berry scent: I have the Raw Boost cream that works wonders on my hair, keeping it smooth. So I wanted to try something else. This dry shampoo….doesn’t really do anything. Doesn’t really add that much texture, either. But it smells fantastic!

Giovanni 2Chic Blackberry and Coconut Oil Hair Oil Serum: I love this stuff. It’s a little harder to find in stores now, but you can still get it at the Giovanni website. This is like a cross between a gel and an oil, not too thin, not too thick. Great at controlling frizz, and smoothing out waves or curls. Smells amazeballs, too!

EvolvH Smart Volume Leave In Conditioner: I got this YEARS ago, maybe in a Petite Vour bag? Not sure, but I was nervous to use it because this kind of thing usually leaves my hair weighed down and looking greasy. In fact, I said that in the initial unboxing and the company actually replied on my post, guaranteeing the product wouldn’t do that. And I’ll be damned if they weren’t right. This was really nice for my hair. And now that I’ve been bleaching my hair for a while, I might look into purchasing a full bottle.

Raw Sugar Boost (not pictured): I grabbed a bottle of this at Meijer on a whim. This stuff is awesome! It keeps my hair frizz to a minimum; helps the waves/curls keep their shape as my hair dries, too. It’s so nice. Looks like it only comes in the small size, which is fine because mine lasted for months (to be fair - I only wash my hair 1-2x a week and only use this when my hair is still wet).

DEBRIS

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Tom’s of Main Rapid Relief Sensitive Toothpaste: My go to for toothpaste. I did actually go a week or two without using it, just to make sure it was actually working. Holy shit, my teeth hurt so much before I went back. GAH. Will continue to purchase and use this product.

Mitchum Women Stick Deoderant: Love this stuff. Works great. Smells great. Is great. This was the gel form, but I prefer the solid stick. Both work well, but the gel takes a while to dry down and it still leaves white marks on your clothes if you’re not careful.

Cake Beauty Ultra-Nourishing Hand Cream: Again, not available from Cake Beauty anymore, so I just linked to their general hand cream page. This stuff was awesome. Absorbed fast, made my skin feel great, and smelled like lemon cake. Aaahhh….But this stuff is really old and started to smell kinda funky.

All righty. We’ve reached the bottom of the bin. Hope some of this was helpful, if you’re looking for recommendations. Until next time!

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs April 2020

I’m considering changing the name of these posts. The title is just a little long and not all that snappy, you dig? Something more like Yay or Nay, maybe Dead or Alive? I don’t know. I’m gonna ponder it for a while. Maybe by the next post, I’ll have my shit together. In the meantime…

For those of you who are new here, this is basically my likes and dislikes of products I’ve used over the past 3 months. Some are things I’ve fallen in love with and can’t sing their praises enough; others are products that make me want to burn this whole damn world down. Let’s take a look!

PDs (Panty Droppers)

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Colourpop Super Shock Shadow in Cuddle Buddy: I love me some CP super shocks. The only bad thing is that many of them dry out loooong before you can use them up. Case in point here. I loved the shade - a shiny, cool-toned pink that was a perfect color for me to put all over my eyelid and call it a day. But it’s crumbly and hard to work with now. Would definitely get it again, except they don’t sell this shade anymore. Dammit.

Tarte Clay Pot Waterproof Liner in Prom Queen: Absolutely loved this shade. I have nothing like it in my stash. It’s a mid-tone cool purple, and shows up surprisingly well over a lot of eye shadow shades. But, like CP, it started to dry out and is difficult to use now. They don’t sell this shade anymore, but they have three colors still available and on sale for $10! That’s cheap for Tarte.

NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Milk: This is my go-to base to put on my eye lids anytime I want an eye shadow to really stand out or to help with the pigmentation (I’ve tried other pencils and even white gel eyeliner, but they don’t work as well as this). Some shadows look rather sheer on their own, but put them over a white or black base and voila! Perfection achieved. This pencil is sooper old, though, and is unusable. And really gross. I already got a new one!


MEHs (Mehs)

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ELF Eye Shadow Primer in Sheer: Though it says the color is ‘sheer’, there is some pigmentation here. It does cover discoloration, veins, etc., a little bit. I, personally, don’t like any color (like the Milani primer) but this is fine. However, its staying power is rather lacking. It holds eye shadows for just a few hours at most. I have really oily eye lids so maybe that has something to do with it. For the price ($3) it’s not horrible. It was actually the first eye primer I ever used, when I’d learned there was such a thing, but it was only $1 then!

TheYEON Jeju Canola Honey Clean Balm: One of those cleansing balms from Korea. Works great at removing makeup; smells nice. But I’ve developed a reaction to cleansing balms when I use them on my eyes (or if it gets in my eyes while using it on the rest of my face). They get all red, itchy, and crusty the morning after I use the balm. So I just can’t bring myself to finish this tub.

Pacifica Liquid Cover Full Coverage Lasting Concealer in 20NF: Don’t let that name fool you. It is NOT full coverage by any means (which is fine since I don’t like full coverage). But I bought it because it did claim it wasn’t drying and felt lightweight. It does feel light. So much so that it doesn’t cover anything. Well, maybe it adds a little coverage to the purple under my eyes, and was okay as a spot concealer. But it mostly it just blends away, leaving the skin looking kinda dry. It might work better for people with oilier skin or don’t have as many years on them as I do.


GFYs (Go Fuck Yourselves)

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Colourpop Glitterally Obsessed Body Glitter in Wish Me Luck: What is the fucking purpose of this stuff? You use it once and that’s it. Even with a sealed container, this shit is completely useless after one application. And surprise, it’s not available on the site anymore. Just pressed glitters and glitter gels, which you have to dig to find because they’re not on any pop up menus. Figures.

Burt’s Bees Overnight Intensive Lip Treatment: If by treatment you mean it completely dries out the lips so you put on more balm, which dries out your lips MORE, so you put on MORE balm, which dries out the lips even MORE….do you see where I’m going with this?

Essence The Eyebrow Pen in Dark Brown: I’m practically crying over here as I type this. This is the 2nd pen I bought, just in case the first one was a dud (it happens in every makeup brand). NOOOOOOOPE. This pen was even worse than the last one. At least I got one eyebrow done with the last pen. I didn’t even get that with this one. Semi-permanent color, my ASS, Essence. FUCK YOU.

Real Techniques Eye Miracle and Finish Miracle Remedy Sponges: What the fucking fuck is the point of these? They don’t absorb water; they’re hard as rocks; they don’t blend out makeup. WHY DO THESE EVEN EXIST?? Gods dammit, RT. What the hell are you doing over there? Laughing all the way to the bank, I presume.

Okay. That’s it for this quarter. Hope everyone is being smart, staying safe and healthy, and hanging on to their sanity in any way they can. Until next time!

Daebak Box - Spring 2020

Well, considering how things are going right now, receiving my Spring Daebak box was just the pick up I needed! (though by the time I’m posting this, we’re a week out from the ‘end’ of quarantine…but I imagine restrictions will still apply for a while)

For those who don’t know, the Daebak box is a seasonal subscription service for all things Korea - pop culture, snacks, beauty, lifestyle, etc. - all delivered to your door once a quarter. You can buy one season at a time (at $54.99) or pre-pay for a whole year ($199.96). Check out the service here: DAEBAK (these are the same people that do the Snack Fever service I buy, and they just started a jewelry service, too).

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

The Spring box is chock full of goodies, some of which are not described or even mentioned in the Daebak magazine that comes each quarter. So we’ll have to figure this out together.

MISCELLANEOUS - OR BONUS, WHO KNOWS?

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I had no idea who this was until I read a few posts at the Daebak Facebook page. Apparently, subscribers got random posters of a member from the K-pop group, Seventeen. I’ve heard of them; I think I’ve seen a video or two on the K-Ville YouTube channel (shut up). But I don’t know which one this is…let’s see if I can figure it out.

Okay! Looks like I got Boo Sungkwan (nick name Boo). He is one of the 13 members of Seventeen (it’s a convoluted explanation on how they got the name, so I won’t go into it here - just know it’s a lot of math). Hopefully using my feet to hold down the poster doesn’t offend anyone (and if it does, just suck it up and don’t be such a whiny bitch) because I had nothing close by to keep it from rolling up. He’s adorbs, and if I were a big fan of the group, I’d be ecstatic about this. Buuuut…I’m not, so not sure what I’ll do with it. It’s nice, thick poster paper, though. *crafting mind takes over*

MAKEUP

These are all sample sizes, so maybe that’s why they aren’t in the magazine? Could be random additions - that happens sometimes!

The MakeHeal Foundaiser (from the MakeHeal website: foundaiser gives you “Natural coverage as if you received a laser therapy.”) This is really nice. It does emphasize my pores a bit but I didn’t use a pore filling primer when I tested it. So we’ll see if I can get it to look a little better. But even so, I did the rest of my makeup and my skin looked FUCKING AWESOME. Satin finish, healthy glow, not a heavy looking foundation at all. And the shade works really well. This is supposed to negate the need for concealer, last 24 hours, and has a cool applicator in the bottle, not the sample (SIDE NOTE: the model on the sample packet is actually an actress that’s starring in a K-Drama I’m watching right now, The Arthdal Chronicles - and it’s awesome). And one sample packet is enough for three applications (for me) so HOORAY! (EDIT: It does start to look heavier as the day progresses, and kind of dry. But if I just needed something quick for a few hours, this would be great.)

The Labiotte Win Lip Tint: This is cool. I like these kind of watery lip products that stain the skin. It actually feels more like a watered down gel, very smooth and soft, or maybe that’s the applicator. The freshly applied product looks orange, but the stain is more pink. Either way, the colors are beautiful. The freshly applied swatch, and wiped off after a few seconds, are below on the left side of my hand. Then you can see the lip swatches of freshly applied early afternoon, and how it looked at the end of the night. This stuff wears incredibly well, even after eating. Well, it IS a stain, after all. That’s how they work.

The MakeHeal Airjet Velvet Lipstick: The samples are almost too small to get a lip brush in them, but I got it to work (when they didn’t pop out of the packaging). Beautiful, soft colors, and the lipstick feels, literally, like velvet on the lips. Very comfortable. I swatched them on my hand (below) and my lips, but I was removing them with kleenex and I had white fuzzies all over my chin in EVERY PICTURE so…I skipped posting those.



SKIN AND TEETH

Beauty of Joseon: The first picture shows three skin care products from Beauty of Joseon, and the pretty pink satchel they came in. I haven’t tried the peeling gel (I’ve already got one in the rotation from ELF). I used the mask last night, and it was GLORIOUS. One of those jelly serum masks, which are my favorite. The material of the mask is a little too flimsy to put in this pouch without some kind of structural, removable backing, but I still loved it. I also tried some of the cleansing balm, and hallelujah it didn’t fuck up my eyes!

The Peelosoft Bubble Eraser Pads: I opened these up the other day to wash after wearing a full face of makeup. They are cleansing cloths that fit over your first 2-3 fingers, like a little pocket. They come dry, you wet them under the faucet, then lather up. I took off my makeup with an oil cleanser first then used one of these. VERY NICE. Would be excellent for travel (which none of us are doing right now, but hopefully soon…). And the tea tree part is not overwhelming.

VTxBTS Think Your Teeth: First, that’s a giant ass toothbrush. I’ve seen MAKEUP brushes that big, dude. But the bristles are very soft, which is good for my sensitive teeth. I haven’t tried it or the toothpaste (see previous mention of sensitivity, plus I need to research the ingredient list on the paste). I love when K-pop bands do collabs in Korea because their images are all over the packaging. And yes, I got a pack of trading cards with their images on one side, names on the other. If I were a 13 year old girl, I’d be squeeing with delight right now. Okay, to be honest, I squeed a little…but come on, look how adorable they all are!

UM…LIFESTYLE?

Jeju Fabric Perfume: It’s just what you think - when your clothes get too stinky from that bbq restaurant, or someone near you is smoking, you spray this on your clothes to get rid of the stank. And it smells like fresh grapefruit. I’d wear this as regular perfume! I haven’t tested it on smelly clothes yet, so I’ll let you know.

Kakao Bath Headband: Super soft, and fits much better than the cat ear headband I got years ago from Meme Box. Don’t believe me? Just look at the above picture!

LED Lights (those might be Kakao, too). OMG so fucking cute! They make a nice decoration on my “to read bookshelf”. Don’t judge me…

SNACKS

HaiTai Homerun Balls: Um…anyway…these were very …tasty…gaaahhhh….. Okay. Mind out of gutter. These were delicious. The outer shell is like a profiterole - light and airy. The chocolate center is perfection. Highly recommend these balls.

In your mouth. *I’ll show myself out*

SM Town Artist Jelly: The Red Velvet jellies aren’t named that for the flavor, but rather for the K-pop group, Red Velvet. I’ve heard of them, but currently don’t have any of their songs on my iPod. The jellies themselves taste like strawberry and peach. Very yummy! And those cute little bird stickers came in the bag (sorry the picture is so blurry).

Whew! All righty, that’s it. So far I’m loving EVERYTHING in this box, including the BTS cards (SHUT UP). This really was a bright spot during a stressful time, and I’m so glad I subscribe to it. I think I have the Summer box left in my pre-paid subscription. I have a sneaking suspicion I will renew for 2020-2021.

Do any of you get this box? What do you think? Leave me a comment!

Morgue Drawer End of 2019

FINALLY, the post you’ve all been waiting for: MY GARBAGE!

BEAT THAT MUG

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Babyganics Baby Wipes: I use these to clean off swatches, and any eye shadow fallout when I’m doing my makeup (I always do my eyes first). They sting a little under the eyes but since I don’t use them for my whole face, it’s fine. And you can get a ton of these for very little cost at my grocery store, Value Center. But you can get them in a lot of different places for a great price.

ELF HD Undereye Setting Powder in Sheer: I love using this to set my concealer under my eyes. It’s finely milled, soft, not heavy, and doesn’t add any dryness to my skin (or at least it doesn’t add the appearance of dryness).

BH Cosmetics Lip Gloss: I like their glosses. The texture on this got really gloopy, so I’m tossing it. Seems they don’t have this product on their site anymore, but I love a lot of their makeup.

Catrice Prime and Fine Fixing Sprays (Dewy Glow and Multitalent): I only tried the Dewy one because Taylor Wynn recommended it on YouTube, but I’d been using the multitalent one for a looong time. I love this stuff, much better than the Dewy, which doesn’t give me any more glow than the multitalent spray, but it is more drying - go figure.

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMPSHADE

Physicians Formula Perfect Matcha Cleansing Balm: I really enjoy cleansing balms. They’re great at taking off makeup. But something new has developed in my body, and I don’t mean I’m experiencing a second puberty: after I use this kind of product, the next morning my eyes are red and swollen and crusty. And it wasn’t just from this brand. I used three different ones to test my theory and yep, all of them irritated the shit out of my eyes. Kinda pissed off, but these things happen. I’m trying out some cleansing oil instead to see if that’s any better. Fingers crossed…

Skinfood Pineapple Peeling Gel: I, personally, love a good peeling gel. It feels like a lotion going on dry skin, then soon the enzymes start working and the dead skin just balls right up and off your face. Hmmm, that sounds dirty… It does sound gross, but I actually like the sensation. It feels like I’m really helping my skin by removing the dead cells and afterwards, my face feels so damn soft. I’m not sure of Skinfood’s cruelty free status, so now that this is gone, I’m trying ELF’s version.

The Ordinary Niacinamide 10% + Zinc 1% Serum: I do love the serums from this company and I hadn’t tried this before. It’s fine; the zinc stings a little if you have a scratch or ‘open’ pimple situation. But I find with this brand that if I go through two bottles of the same product, it stops working. I just finished the 2nd bottle so I won’t be repurchasing.

Fourth Ray Beauty Remedy Niacinamide 10% Serum: This is Colourpop’s skin care sister brand and the first niacinamide product I ever tried. From the website: niacinamide is supposed “to enhance skin clarity, perfect pores over time, and boost overall skin health.” And I’ll be a son of a bitch if it didn’t work. I was actually shocked. I’ve since repurchased and hope that it won’t stop working like The Ordinary’s stuff usually does for me.

Mario Badescu Rose Facial Spray: Unless you’re new, you should already know how much I love this face spray. And will continue to repurchase when needed.

Burt’s Bees Micellar Water: Not great. It removed all the face makeup, but struggled a bit with eye makeup. It only stung my eyes a titch, unlike most micellar waters do, which is why I didn’t set it on fire before using it as a Molotov Cocktail at my Lord of the Flies neighbors. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find a cruelty free option that works, and doesn’t hurt.

ELF Nourishing Night Cream: This was okay. I wanted to switch up from the Formula 10.0.6 because my skin has been feeling more dry when I wake up (and long before the cold air started rolling in). This ended up feeling the same. And it’s a little pricey for ELF, if you ask me. Which you didn’t, but then why are you here reading all my opinions if you don’t care??

Formula 10.0.6 PM Perfector Night Cream: I’d been using this for a long time, but recently my skin has been feeling dryer in the morning so I don’t think it’s working well for me anymore. On the hunt for new stuff.

Formula 10.0.6 Day Cream: I still enjoy this a lot and will continue to use!

Notoriously Morbid’s Slumber Salve in Hesperides: This scent in no longer on the website but this product in general has to be some of THE best lip balm/salve I’ve ever tried. I put it on at night and, about 97% of the time, I wake up and some is still on. My lips feel so soft and protected. If you get the chance, check this stuff out for yourself.

GEE YOUR HAIR SMELLS TERRIFIC

RenPure Coconut Cream Nourishing Shampoo: I got this at Target, but this particular coconut line has to be bought on-line, apparently. It was a really nice moisturizing shampoo. With my hair being bleached now, I need extra moisture. Smelled nice, not too much coconut, hint of floral, and made my hair feel soft. But I get bored easily, as does my hair, so we’ve swiched it up. I still recommend this, though.

Paul Mitchell Lavender Mint Moisturizing Shampoo and Conditioner: And this is what I’ve switched to. It is phenomenal! I usually go three days (sometimes four) between hair washing, so dry shampoo is my friend. But even with that, my hair still feels so damn soft. Sometimes I just put dry shampoo or some kind of texture spray on so I can keep a ponytail or braid in. It’s magic! And it smells fantastic.

Marc Anthony Deep Repair Aloe Vera Jasmine Conditioning Treatment: Sweet baby jeebus I love this stuff. I only use it 2-3 times a month and I can get three uses from one packet. It really helps moisturize my hair, make it feel super soft, and the smell is out of this world. But then again, I love the smell of Jasmine. And it’s only $3 a packet. Yaaaasss.

L’Occitane Lemon Verbena Shampoo and Conditioner: Got this in a hotel room out in Jackson Hole, WY, while on vacation. And while it smells really nice, you have to use SO MUCH product to get it to work, and even then it’s not great stuff. Do not recommend. Doesn’t look like it’s available on their site anyway.

Hask Unwined Dry Shampoo in Rose Wine: This worked all right, but the smell was pretty heavy. Looks like just the White Wine option is available anyway.

Hask Argan from Morocco Dry Shampoo: This one worked better than the wine version, and it smells so much nicer.

Marc Anthony Argan Oil Hairspray: I still love this stuff. Not a heavy duty holding spray, but it can be piled on to work like one. The smell used to be softer, more like straight argan oil, but now it smells more like hairspray, does that make sense? I still like it, though!

DEBRIS

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MBA Cosmetics Body Wash in Seaside Escape: This was a decent body wash. The smell was really nice, very unisex leaning on floral. It didn’t foam up that much, which is sometimes good (the stuff that makes soaps foam is drying to the skin) but that means I used a lot more of it than other washes. This is from an Etsy store and the owner doesn’t make body wash anymore.

Tom’s of Main Rapid Relief Sensitive Toothpaste: Been buying this for years. It’s the only sensitive toothpaste that doesn’t make my mouth peel. Yes, that’s weird, but a small percentage of us deal with that side effect with other sensitivity toothpastes. This stuff works just as well as any other brand. Most of the time I can find this WITH fluoride, which I prefer, but I’ll take what I can get.

Whew! All righty, that’s it for 2019. See you all next year with more trash talk. Hardee har har.